Page 157 of Rage

“Things will be difficult for a while, since I neededyouand not someone new. I worry about your brain, Samantha, but there was no replacing it. Neither your face nor…several other parts.” He flashes a wicked grin that has my eyes widening and my heart racing.

“I’ll be here. I’ll help you. I’ll take care of you. Everything and anything, I will do that for you.” My lips quiver as I try to move my arms, and nothing happens. Casper doesn’t take his eyes off me.

“Aren’t I so gracious?” he asks, brushing his thumb across my lips. “I’ve let you keep your mouth. You weren’t as charitable. Then again…it was for very selfish reasons that I did that.” Then, he kisses me deeply again. I can barely move at all as he presses his tongue to mine.

Casper can talk. It makes me wonder how long I’ve been gone. I kiss him back as best I can. I thought I would never kisshim again, but he has given me life and brought us together once more.

“I can explain everything now. I love you, more thananyoneelse is capable.” Now I’m the one left voiceless, but I wish to tell him how much I love him too. I made the impossible possible and broke the laws of life and death to have him. My hands molded Casper, and each stitch is seared into my memory. When I’m not touching him, my palms feel empty.

My mouth opens, but it’s too hard to tell him all of this. My tongue is heavy, and the thoughts keep swirling in my head, the sentences ripped apart and rearranged into meanings that make little sense. Casper looks at me solemnly while his fingers brush my face.

“And I can also tell you what I’ve become,” he starts. His expression combined with how each word sounds grave, I don’t think I want to hear what he wants to say next.

“I tore into the guts and gore of your city.” There’s an ache in my chest. Before I know it, a tear has fallen from my eye. Casper watches its descent with a grim expression, but he’s determined to tell me all of this, to ensure I know the details of what he has done, as if confessing his sins to God.

“I’ve done such terrible things for you, Samantha. I’ve slaughtered and tortured in your name. I’ve ripped people limb from limb. I’ve tasted blood and I’ve dined on organs, and I did it all so you could come back to me.” I shake my head, my eyes wet—more tears are falling. Outside, I can hear the waves crashing against the island in a roar as the storm continues. Thunder growls and lightning flashes, illuminating our faces. How could someone so attractive be so twisted?

“As I said, I’m your salvation and your damnation. I’m your monster and always will be.” His teeth grind together, making his jaw flex. Despite the grim look on his face, the macabre holes from when I sewed his lips frame his mouth in the shape of asinister smile. I can see every violent death in his eyes, haunting him. It makes the yellow power in his irises deepen and dim to amber.

“Samantha,” he whispers, pressing his forehead to mine. “I’m haunted by the things I’ve done.” I press my head harder against his—it’s the best I can do to comfort him. I wish I could lift my arms and hold him, push my fingers through his hair, count the stitches around his skull. My creation is pained, and I want to ease his ache.

“It frightens me that for every horror I inflicted,” he whispers, “my pleasure of it only grew.” I suck in a sharp breath. “You’re trembling again, my love. I love it when you do. Tremble in my arms for eternity.” Casper’s hold tightens around me like a vice.

“Pleaseneverleave me again. Make me whole, Samantha, make megood. Try to mold my soul with your hands and…I’ll pretend it works.” His guilt is replaced by an amused chuckle. The small laugh digs into my chest. He can laugh.

Casper pulls back and smiles down at me. The Smiling Sinner is here now—charming, sadistic, and damned.

I realize now that I should have never left him. Leaving resulted in terrible things. I made my fair share of mistakes, but I’ll learn from them. I’ll be by Casper’s side forever—for better or worse.

In all honesty, I can do nothing but love what I made, even if he horrifies me. Together, I hope we’ll be better people. Only time will tell if my hopes are fulfilled or if they spoil into rot.

It takes me a moment, but eventually, I’m able to nod. When I do, Casper’s entire body relaxes, and he lets out a sigh of relief. Then, he pulls me against him, holding me for the first night of my second life.

“I’ll take care of you,” he whispers over and over as time passes. “And I will love you with every fiber of my being and more.”

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