Page 23 of Celestial Alphas

My heart is racing. I was looking for proof that Kosma had been betraying me for years, messages or something to the Vian. I need to know when it begun, when he decided to betray everything and maybe for an answer to why. I just need to find something in this place, something to make it make sense. Because it doesn’t. I don’t know if anything could ever make it. “Nothing. You’re not real.”

“I am.” He smoothly counters, his accent thick and unusual. I don’t have a clue where he is from. The room feels colder with every second he is here.

“What are you?” I demand.

“You want to play a game of asking questions? No, I’m not ready to play that game with you yet.” He crosses his arms, flexing the muscles there.

My heart races for some wild reason. “You know what? Screw this.” I walk past him, careful not to get close, and straight intothe walk-in wardrobe. I grab a bag and just start throwing my clothes in it, knowing he is watching. He’s just a shadow man, with no name, and he isn’t real.

I storm out of the room and to the door. “Where are you going?”

“Away. I don’t even know if you’re real, but just...” I shake my head. “You’re not real and the stress of losing everyone has messed with my mind. I’ll go to the academy and then things will settle down again. I won’t let grief turn me crazy.”

“Grief won’t turn you crazy, Annie, but I might just do if you don’t start believing I’m real and you ain’t getting rid of me now. Or ever. Not while there’s nothing to stop me from getting to you.” He smirks at me. “I’ll see you soon, my ghost.”

He disappears right in front of my eyes. My shadow man just spoke to me and is ridiculously hot. I’m losing my mind. I’ve been in so many therapy classes about this shadow man that I’ve seen since I was a kid. They always told me it wasn’t real, that he would go away when I got older. He kind of did, at least for the last couple of years, and now he’s back. I’ve made the shadow into a real shadow man like a lunatic. They say Gwen’s the crazy one, but really, it’s my brain. I need to get out of here. I practically run to the living room and find Kosma’s parents where I left them, but thankfully Paavo has left. “I’m going back to the academy. I’m feeling a calling, like I need to be back there. It’s the only place that I’ll truly heal. I hope you understand and don’t mind me borrowing a car.”

“Nonsense. Please take any of the cars. The keys are on the wall in the garage.” Mr Marsenton offers.

“I wish you would stay, Annie.” Mrs Marsenton sighs. “But Kos was so proud of you for going there, for being strong and training and everything else you rangers do for our kind. We can’t stop you from following your destiny. Maybe one day with rangers like you, there won’t be any more parents mourningtheir children because Vian took them away.” She stands and comes to me. “You know where we are. You’re all that we have left now. I know that you won’t need money, not after your father and mother have left you a lot, but if you need anything, please ask us. Please don’t be a stranger.”

I kiss her on the cheek. “I won’t be. I’ll call soon. Thank you for everything you’ve done.” I leave them both. The sound of Mrs Marsenton’s cries echoing to me until I’m at the other side of the mansion, opening the door to the garage and the line of expensive cars. Maybe when I’m back in the academy, I won’t see my shadow man anymore. I swear, his dark laugh echoes out of the shadows, taunting me with the fact that he said I can’t escape him anymore.

Chapter

Twelve

He’s standing over me like a dark shadow, pulling all the light from the open doorway into him. I can’t touch the light. He’s taken it all, just like my life. What little freedom I had is crushed under him and his ownership of me. I’m starving and everything is twisting thanks to the hunger, but I refuse to ask him to feed me. Occasionally, soup and bread are thrown into my cell, but not enough to keep me from losing a serious amount of weight. I can feel all my ribs now, and my knees are bony. I don’t like being this thin, and I miss burgers. I miss chocolate cake and my dad’s singing in the car. Severi, the prince of the Vian, is empty of any genuine emotions other than one burning hate for me. His eyes are glowing, or I’m imagining the brown depths glowing. My imagination has been weird after being trapped in here. “Are you going to let your Nexus out yet?”

“No,” I snarl at him like an animal. I haven’t seen daylight in…I don’t know how long, only that it’s been a long time. I haven’t seen my parents in a long time either, but I know they’re here somewhere. “Let my parents go!”

“Okay.” I watch him with distrust. All Vian are monsters, just like me, and they can’t be trusted at their word. “Would youshow me your Nexus if I let them go?” I grit my teeth and put my middle finger up at him. My parents told me to never let my Nexus fully shift in front of him or let him see the extent of what I can do. They never told me why, or what scared them so much, but they made me promise. I swore not to reveal my Nexus.But Annie? “They’re very protective of you, not revealed a single secret of yours…you should be proud of that. Torture usually gets people to give up their secrets. It doesn’t take them long. But not your parents, not you. You’re making me look bad.” He steps closer. “But your mother slipped up this morning, and it’s why I’m here. She said you don’t like bugs, things that crawl over you.”

Fuck. “And?”

“One of my friends picked up a very interesting power from a Nexus. Yours is going to come out to play, or he won’t stop using his power on you. All you have to do is reveal her and this all stops, Gwenieve.”

“I’d rather die.” My bland comment only echoes off the walls as he leaves, shutting the door and the light with him. I’m not scared of the dark, well, not anymore, but I hate the idea of being trapped in here anymore. Fear crawls up my throat, choking me before I realise it’s not fear at all, it’s bugs, spiders, cockroaches, ladybugs, everything creepy crawling all over my skin, filling the room until it’s nothing but the sound of them, the feel of them against my skin, everything making me feel insane. I scream and scream and scream, but they don’t stop, they don’t ever stop.

“Wake up!”

I gasp, sitting up, coming face to face with Onyx leaning over me, his hair messy and his eyes glazed. He’s shirtless and my mouth parts as I get a good look at his muscled chest, the ripples of muscle down his flat, toned stomach before my sight is cut off by low hanging black pants on his hips. “You’re having a bad dream, but you’re here with me. You’re awake now. Look, Finn’son the floor.” I follow Onyx’s direction, my heart pounding so fast and hard in my chest I wonder how I’m breathing. Finn’s massive brown bear is laid out on the floor, snoring lightly. “You’re safe.”

Placing my hand on my heart, I will it to calm as I hear Onyx repeat over and over that I’m safe, until the ringing of my heartbeat drifts out of my ears. It hits me quickly that I’m not with Severi, I’m not a teenager anymore, and I’m not trapped with bugs everywhere. The bugs were never real, just a Vian stolen power, but it felt real. The nightmares still do. My cheeks burn with embarrassment. “I’m fine. Leave.”

“No.” He sits back from me. “What happened in that dream? Did you die? Is that what gives you nightmares?”

Onyx must have hit his head if he thinks I’m suddenly going to open up to him after the crap he has pulled. “Do you think I trust you enough to tell you what haunts me?”

“Yes, because I want it to haunt me, not you.” He touches my cheek, but I pull away from his touch. “You told me about the death thing. I know you did that in case you died.”

“I don’t trust you. I didn’t tell you that I died and came back to let you in on some kind of secret to make you feel better. That was never the point.” I crawl back on the bed, pulling the quilt up and over me. I’m still in Onyx’s borrowed clothes, which feels intimate now that we are in a bed together. He leans back, choosing to sit on the end of the bed, watching me.

“You pulled me into your nightmare. I couldn’t see what it was, but you were in a dark room and screaming. I managed to pull myself out of it because I knew it wasn’t real. It was Nexus power. Your dreamwalking abilities, so far, extend outside of your sleep, just so you know. It’s unheard of. They give me a connection to Finn’s mind when you’re close, and I was able to speak into his mind. I bet I could speak to yours if I really pushed.” That’s not good. I do not want him in my head. “Iwas asking about your nightmare so that we can talk, because sometimes when people talk, they feel better about things. I want to help you feel better.”

“You gave me up to your father!” I harshly whisper. “You gave me up, and I thought you hated me. I’m not sure you don’t.” I gulp. “If anyone took you and hurt you, they would already be dead.”

“I never hated you, and fuck am I sorry I made you think I did because I was angry. If it was your father, would you kill him?” He clears his throat when I can’t answer. “Gwen, if you can forgive Finn, maybe?—”

---