Page 35 of Starts With a Bang

Dom’s mother held her hands up in surrender. “You’re right. I’m sorry,” she said, gesturing to the room at large.

A curious thing happened next. Helen released a snort so tiny that none of us would’ve heard it if the room hadn’t gone so quiet. But we had clocked it and turned to look at her. Helen’s slim shoulders shook, and she lifted her hand to her mouth. With her head tilted down, it was impossible to tell if she was laughing or on the verge of a sob.

Molly Beth reached for her free hand and gently squeezed. “Mom, it’s okay. You can tell us what’s wrong.”

Helen looked up, and her eyes glistened with unshed tears. My heart sank at whatever news she was about to deliver.

“I knew something was wrong.” Janet crossed the room and stood next to Molly Beth.

The sisters joined hands while they waited for Helen to deliver bad news. The trembling in Helen’s shoulders moved to her torso, and I looked to Dom for guidance. He’d tucked his free hand in his front pocket and watched the whole thing with a smirk on his face. What the hell was wrong with him? I looked at Helen again and realized her tears weren’t from sorrow but from repressed laughter. Another snort erupted from behind her hand, and her green eyes widened in surprise or mortification. I couldn’t be sure which one.

“Nana?” Christian asked. “I can’t tell if you’re laughing or crying.”

Helen lowered her hand, and bawdy laughter erupted from her pink-painted lips. She cackled until she struggled for breath. She placed a hand on her chest and sucked air into her lungs. The gesture would’ve been alarming if I hadn’t noticed the pure joy in her expression.

“She can’t breathe!” Janet cried. “Call for an ambulance!”

“No,” John said. “She’s not suffocating, Janet. She’s laughing at your ridiculousness.”

Janet whirled on her husband. “At least I give a damn about my mother.”

“Helen isn’t a malicious bitch like the woman who birthed me,” John fired back.

I leaned into Dom. “Do you think your mom grabbed popcorn during her shopping trip?”

Molly Beth had heard me and turned twinkling eyes on me. “Of course.”

Dom chuckled. “Mom, I hope you bought a lot because these next two weeks are going to feel like two years.”

They shared a laugh before turning their attention back to the show. John and Janet were slinging verbal darts about who was the best parent, spouse, and child. Everyone tuned into their arguments except for Emerson, who couldn’t tear his eyes off Dom. I was debating how boldly to stake my claim when Dom’s big arm snaked around my waist and pulled me closer. He pressed a kiss on top of my head before lowering his mouth to my ear.

“Bet we could sneak back to our bedroom and fool around some more,” Dom whispered.

I turned and kissed his lips. “Hell yeah.”

I could tell from the heat of Emerson’s glare that he’d watched our interaction and had correctly guessed what we were planning. Good. I took the first step away from the cacophony of chaos in the kitchen. Dom followed suit, and we’d sneaked a few feet away before someone whistled shrilly. The room went immediately silent, and all eyes returned to Helen, who withdrew two fingers from her mouth.

“Blessed silence.” She sighed heavily before pinning Janet with a dark glower. “If you must know, your spies aren’t overhearing me pleading with God to bring me home. They’re eavesdropping when I’m having sex with Barney. He might have snow on the roof, but fires are still raging in the ole furnace.”

Dom nearly choked on his next breath, and he wasn’t alone. It was unlikely anyone in the family wanted to know that Helen had an active sex life. Me? I gave her a thumbs-up because she was doing life her way.

“Yeah, I know you get it,” Helen said. “Dom, you’re a seriously lucky man to have found this wildcat.”

Dom smiled down at me. “And I damn well know it, Nana.”

I didn’t need to look at Emerson to know he was burning with anger. I could smell the smoke from across the kitchen. I smiled up at Dom and kissed him.

“Mother.” Janet spoke slowly and evenly as if fighting to stay calm. “We’ll talk about your relationship with Barney later. It’s not a polite conversation to have in mixed company.”

“There’s nothing to discuss,” Helen replied. “Barney and I are consenting adults with our cognitive skills intact. We are in love, and thanks to modern pharmaceuticals, we can physically express it often.” Helen turned her stool back to the kitchen island, signaling the conversation had ended.

Janet’s fingers trembled as she fiddled with her necklace, and I felt sorry for her. “Well,” she said, glancing around the room. “Since I have everyone’s attention, maybe it’s a good time to tell you about the activities I have planned.”

“Even though I’m not dying?” Helen asked.

“Especially for that reason, Mother.” Janet rubbed her palms against her slacks as if they were sweaty. “I, um, figured we’d bake and decorate sugar cookies. I haven’t done that since Christian moved out, and I thought we could turn it into a little competition.”

Dom looked at me and sighed. “Might as well hand Sven the prize now.”

---