Page 54 of Hot Set

“You did,” Celeste said. “And besides, I left my mascara. Let’s go to the car. They’ll let us back in.”

Waseveryonein on this? Or maybe I was just imagining it all, and it was purely coincidence that everyone was leaving Brandon alone with me.

“Cool,” Seth said. “I’m off to get us another round.”

And then, Brandon and I were alone in the booth. I toyed with the beer before me. “So,” I said.

“So,” Brandon echoed. “I—um—I really do want to apologize. For everything.”

“What do you mean?” I asked. “For everything?”

“For being a jerk about the filming,” Brandon said, “To start. But I also feel like I’ve handled us very poorly. I—I’ll be honest and admit that I am head over heels in love with you. And I really hope that Seth was right and that you love me, too.”

“I do!” I exclaimed. “I have for a while. I was just dealing with a lot, so it was hard to tell you. I guess I handled us poorly, too.”

“You didn’t realize that you were gay,” Brandon said. “That’s a lot to sort through. And I mean, you have the FBI.”

Right. The FBI.

Brandon shifted in the seat; the movement unusually awkward.

I took a deep breath and pushed my beer away. At this point, I really was just pointlessly toying with it. The bottle gave me something to do with my hands, so I hopefully didn’t look so nervous. But I had a feeling Brandon wasn’t fooled.

“But you’re seriously going to pursue making this movie,” I said.

“And potentially more after it,” Brandon replied. “No matter what it takes. I’ll figure it out. You’ll still like me if I’m getting a second job at Target to pursue my passion projects, won’t you?”

Right. Because Brandon wasn’tjustgiving up a job. He was giving up his father’s approval and money.

“Were you hoping that…” I trailed off, struggling to put the question into words.

Were you hoping that I’d stay with you?

“I’d like to keep seeing you,” Brandon replied, “But I realize that’s…a lot to expect. Maybe we could make the long-distance thing work, though. If you wanted. I know you’ll be in Washington.”

“For a while,” I replied. “I don’t know how long they’ll actually want me to stay there.”

“Right,” Brandon said.

And I didn’t really like the idea of doing anything long-distance, anyway. That had never been how I imagined any of my romances going. Brandon or the FBI, this was it. I had to make my decision, but really, it didn’t seem to be much of a decision at all.

No matter how much I love Brandon, no matter how many times I’d fantasized about him and dreamed of getting together with him, how could I abandon my dream?

Chapter Twenty: Alex

This was it. There were very few times in my life that I felt I was making a truly life-altering, permanent decision, but this was one of them. I hated airports for all the same reasons that I liked the movie studio. Both were loud and bustling, overflowing with too many people in too crammed a space. From experience, I knew that TSA would be a nightmare. At least this would be a short flight. One way too.

My toes curled inside my sneakers.One way.

I was going away from my mom, from the movie set, from everyone. FromBrandon.

And Brandon loved me.

He’d been willing to try a long-distance relationship, even. A lump formed in my throat, making it hard to breathe. This should be the most thrilling moment of my entire life, planning to go off and work for the FBI. This was my dream, everything that all my years of academic work had built up to. I would bea fool to waste it all now, here on the verge of getting what I’d always wanted.

But Brandon.

He was the one thing keeping me from my dream, but he was a big thing. As I gazed over the expanse of the airport, I pictured his shining blue eyes and his gold hair. I imagined his smile, always so soft and so patient. And a warm feeling spread through me. I just wanted to sink into it. Around me, everything seemed to fade away as if into another world.

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