Page 51 of Hot Set

That was my fault. I should’ve listened better. I should’ve planned and not caved so quickly. Instead, I stood there and made excuses, offering no solutions while all my friends were upset and in danger of instantly losing their income, the income that had reliably paid their bills for months.

But maybe it wasn’t right to make things right; some of them, anyway. Although Alex would probably approve of this, I had no doubt that we were done. Our relationship had ended before it had begun, and maybe that was best. Maybe, this way, we could at least be casual friends who texted sometimes. That wasn’t nearly enough, but it was better than nothing at all.

I scrolled to my father’s number, and steeling myself, I typed in the message that could ruin everything.

“I’m done.”

I stared at my phone for a long moment, my finger hovering over thesendbutton. Obviously, after my father received that text, he’d call me in a fury. We’d fight like we always did, and this time, he might actually cut me off. He probably wouldn’t, and I wasn’t sure that I wouldn’t deserve that. I took in a deep breath and steadied my nerves. It was time to take a chance, grow up, and either make things worse or go down trying.

I hitsend.

Chapter nineteen

Alex

Boxes and bags of my possessions filled my room. I’d thought about putting them into my car, but there wasn’t much of a point in that. I didn’t have an apartment yet, but there would be an apartment. I’d accepted the FBI’s job. I curled my hands around the steering wheel and looked across the parking lot and into the pub. This was it, my leaving celebration.

I let out a slow breath. Everyone had been invited to this. Including Brandon.

Especially Brandon.

A sharp jolt of guilt pierced my chest. Maybe I’d been too hard on him. No, IknewI’d been too hard on him. It wasn’t Brandon’s fault that his father had cut the funding to the film. And what had I expected Brandon to do, really? To take a leap of faith that he’d never before had to take, to risk everything, his whole way of life? Could I evenhonestlysay that I wouldn’t have made a similar choice if I’d been in his position?

I liked to think that I’d have stuck to my guns, that I’d have done everything I could to keep the film going for everyone. But how could I really know? It’s easy to judge when you don’t have to make the choice.

Would he come?

My chest ached when I thought of us leaving on the terms we had sadly established. But if he did show up, what then? Despite telling myself, over and over, that I’d figured everything out, my thoughts kept returning to Brandon; also over and over. The least little thing made me think of him. I couldn’t even go into my own bathroom without remembering the night I’d spent in his apartment.

“And now, I’m moping about it in my car like a lovestruck teenager,” I muttered.

Maybe that wasn’t quite fair. I didn’t thinkanyprevious relationship had ended quite so painfully or disastrously. It seemed almost shocking how quickly Brandon and I had fallen apart. But then, we hadn’t really been together, had we?

I jumped at the sound of tapping on my window. Seth grinned at me.

I wrinkled my nose at him, trying to hidejusthow grateful I really was for the distraction. I climbed out of my car. “You almost gave me a heart attack,” I said.

“Only almost?” Seth asked, his voice heavy with fake disappointment. “I must really be losing my touch. That’s unfortunate.”

“You know, Seth,” I said, “If you actually did evenhalfof the things you’ve claimed you’ve done, I might actually be terrified.”

“Oh, I neverclaimanything,” Seth replied mischievously.

We crossed the parking lot and stepped inside. I quickly found Bioncia, who waved us over. Celeste sat beside her, along with Sean, Mark, and Logan. No Brandon. Although my heart sank, Itried to keep the disappointment off my face. He wasn’t here. I hadn’t really thought he’d be here.

My hand drifted to the pocket of my jeans, toward my phone. My fingers itched to pull out the device and check my texts just one more time; just in case Brandon had texted to say he was running late, or in case Brandon had texted and said he wasn’t coming at all.

But I couldn’t. This was supposed to be my farewell to everyone, and if Brandon didn’t want to be here…

Well, maybe I deserved that. Maybe if I’d been more understanding, none of this would’ve happened.

Everyone shifted down the corner booth. I crammed in beside Bioncia, leaving room for Seth beside me. Bioncia wrapped her arms around me in a quick hug, so for a few seconds, all I smelled was her pungent floral perfume. “Congratulations,” she said.

“Thank you,” I replied.

Bioncia smiled and nodded. She’d started a chain reaction, and suddenly, everyone was offering me congratulations all at once. They were all so heartfelt. I should’ve appreciated them. Idid,actually, but a small part of me still lingered on Brandon, who wasn’t here. How desperate would it be if I just pulled out my phone and texted him, asked where he was, with the whole table watching?

Probably pretty desperate. Besides, if he’d wanted to be here, he’d have shown up. It really was that simple. He wasn’t here because he didn’t want to be, and I needed to accept that. I needed to let it go.

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