Page 20 of You Were Mine

“Why’d you dothat?” He appears defensive.

He keeps watching me. It’s as if there is something strange and fragile between us, and whoever speaks first will destroy that special connection.

“Logan,” I say. “I can have a relationship with whomever I want.”

“I never said you couldn’t.”

“You gave me a look.”

He shrugs ambivalently. “Of course, you’re an adult and can date whoever the fuck you like. I’m fine with it. Do whatever floats your boat. It’s not like I can just stop you from going places,” he replies, but there’s an obvious catch in his voice.

I cross my arms and lean against the doorway. “But does it upset you?” I ask.

It obviously does, and I’m not even sure why I ask. What am I hoping for? A sudden, passionate confession that he can’t bear to see me with another man? How painfully cheesy. But now, the image is in my head, and I can’t rid myself of it. My pulse races. I might like that. Ishouldn’tlike that.

“That you’re going to make your own decisions like an adult? Don’t be ridiculous,” he replies with a dismissive wave. “I’m just going to stay home and give out candy to armies of children. You should go out and have fun.”

But is he staying home and giving out candy because hewantsto, or because of me? I sigh as guilt twists in my stomach.

“Are you going to be like this if Brandon and I keep dating?” I ask.

Logan frowns. “What do you think? I’lltryto be nice to him.”

Logan says that, but I wonder if it’s going to be a trade-off. Brandon or Logan. New York City or Bluehaven.

“And I’m not doing anything,” Logan says. “Go to your Halloween gala. It’s not the end of the world if I spend a holiday alone.”

“I just know it’s our tradition,” I reply.

Loganmentioned that it was our tradition the last time we went through this.

Logan shakes his head. “Quit overthinking it. Just because I…admitted that I love you, doesn’t mean you need to feel guilty for going out with another guy.”

“I don’t know if I feel guilty,” I replied. “I just keep thinking of how hard this is for you.”

Logan throws a couch pillow at me. It bounces harmlessly off my arm and falls to the ground. I pick it up and fidget with it, as if I can suddenly force myself to be more comfortable by picking at it.

“Mark, you’re my best friend. We’ve been friends for years now. I just want you to be happy. I’ve said it once, and I’ll say it again. It’s notyourproblem that I’ve got a crush on you. Go on and live your life. Enjoy your date with Brad.”

“Brandon.”

Logan smirks. “That’s what I said,” he teases. “Bradley.”

I roll my eyes and throw the pillow back at him, nearly taking out a foam pumpkin. After tomorrow, the apartment won’t look so much like a Spirit of Halloween exploded inside. It will probably be normal for a few weeks, and then Logan will jump straight into Christmas. He’s not one to do Thanksgiving.

“Okay,” I reply. “I don’t believe you, but I’ll take your word for it.”

“You don’t believe me?”

No, because I know him. Even though he’s teasing and smirking, I can tell he’s putting on the appearance of being okay with it. He is not. Although I want to go out, part of me thinks about staying. I can tell Brandon I’ve got the flu or something, a stomach bug. And then I can just spend the evening here with Logan. Or spur him to go out on the town. We’d have fun. We always do.

“I really am fine,” Logan says. “You’re obsessing more over this than I was, weirdo.”

“Your cold indifference has driven me away,” I reply, grabbing my coat by the door.

“Just like every other man in my life,” Logan insists, sighing dramatically. “Alas.”

I roll my eyes and head out. Brandon had offered to pick me up, but the gallery is only a few blocks away and I did not want to make it even more awkward with Logan here. There’s no need for him to make the drive and face the traffic for such a short distance.

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