Page 19 of Deceiving Grier

God, his lips were so close to mine that if I leaned just a fraction of an inch closer, my mouth would brush his. This was all I had ever wanted.Hewas all I had ever wanted. Yet in that moment, all I could think of was… Sawyer. Was he still watching me, watching Tyler leaning in close enough for me to kiss?

“It’s not like that?” I said with a pang that was uncomfortably close to disappointment. “We’re just friends.”

“Good. Why don’t we get out of here, and we canmess aroundfor real?”

As pick-up lines went, it was pretty cheesy, but my interest in him had never really centered on clever sexual innuendo. I’d wanted this moment for three long years. I’d fantasized about this exact thing, but I couldn’t seem to push the word ‘yes’ out of my mouth.

Let’s face it, if I went home with him, if we had sex, I would undoubtedly screw up, then he would know, and I would look like a complete fool.

“I can’t,” I told him. “I have to work tomorrow. Actually, I should probably go now.”

I didn’t wait for him to respond. Instead, I turned away and pushed my way through the crowd to the exit. My face burned as though it was on fire, and outside, the chilly night air felt good against my heated skin.

I turned and started walking home, missing when home was just at the top of The Square instead of a long walk up a winding incline. My good mood from earlier had vanished, and all I really wanted was to climb into bed and pull the covers over my head.

I felt like an absolute idiot, having made a fool out of myself twice with two different guys.

“Hey!” I turned at the sound of Sawyer’s voice. He jogged to catch up with me. “Are you okay?”

I nodded. “Yeah. Sorry. I should have told you I was leaving. You don’t need to come home if you’re not ready, though.”

He shrugged and fell into step beside me. “That’s fine. I was ready to go anyway.”

We walked in silence for a bit before Sawyer said, “If I made you uncomfortable before on the dance floor, I’m sorry. I thought you were into it.”

I had been into it, more than I wanted to admit, especially to him. “We have a sort of unspoken rule for the house about not getting involved with each other.”

He nudged my shoulder with his and grinned. “I was just thinking we’d fuck. Not get engaged.”

I barked out a laugh and jammed my hands in my pockets, hunching my shoulders against the cold, damp wind sweeping in off the ocean. Now that we were out of the bar, the sweat slicking my skin had turned cold, making me shiver.

“In my defense,” Sawyer said. “I didn’t know that house rule. I had only been told about the no sex on the dining table rule—which iswaytoo specific for that not to have happened, and Jett said it wasn’t him, so…”

I looked over at Sawyer, who watched me expectantly with one brow quirked. I snorted. “Believe me. It wouldn’t have been me.” I sighed. “It was Alistair and Finn. But to be fair, they replaced the table before anyone could use it. We figured we would just make that a rule going forward.”

“That’s good.” He nodded slowly, as if carefully mulling over my words. I cringed internally, waiting for him to ask what I’d meant that it wouldn’t have been me to have sex on the table. He didn’t, though. Instead, he asked, “I saw you talking to Tyler Innes at the bar. You guys looked prettyclose.”

Did it bother him? Maybe he’d been offended that I deserted him after he’d been grinding me on the dance floor only to be cozying up with someone else at the bar. I glanced up at him again, but he seemed unbothered. “I guess.”

“I thought he might have said or done something the way you took off.”

My face heated all over again. Somehow, it was especially awful to be told that your inept exit was as weird and awkward as you feared. “No, nothing like that. He asked if I wanted to leave with him.”

“You’re not into him?”

I let out a humorless chuckle. “I’ve had a thing for him for the past three years.”

“So, why didn’t you go with him? It wasn’t because of me, was it?”

I shook my head. “No, I didn’t think you were serious.”

Even if I had fantasized about dragging him into a bathroom stall and getting down on my knees to suck his dick—except I would have no idea what to do with it once I took it out of his pants. My face burned at the thought.

“I didn’t go because…” I stopped walking and scrubbed both hands down my face. Was I really considering telling Sawyer Banks one of my deepest, darkest secrets? I must be drunker than I thought. “If I tell you, you have to promise you won’t laugh or make fun of me?”

“Okay, I won’t, I swear.” He crossed his heart as if we were in sixth grade, and he was making a promise. Would he offer to pinky swear next?

“I’ve never been with anyone,” I said finally. I held Sawyer’s gaze, glaring, daring him to make fun or laugh as he’d promised not to.

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