Page 91 of Hold On Me

A small smile plays on her lips as she twists her head around to place a kiss on my cheek. “Good boy.” She pats my cheek and a laugh barrels out of my chest.

“You’re such a brat.” I clamp my lips onto her neck and bite down hard enough to mark her as she squeals her protest.

She’s saved from anything else by my phone vibrating again. Groaning, I quickly grab it and scan the screen. “It seems I’ve been invited to a group chat with the Bradys and we’re running late.”

“Welcome to the asylum. Please leave your sensibilities at the door with your feelings, because if you don’t, they will get hurt.”

She giggles as she heaves her body from my bed, my release dripping down to coat her thighs, and she rolls her eyes when she notices where my line of vision has strayed to. “You’re such a dude,” she calls over her shoulder as she strolls into my en suite.

I am, and I love seeing her as mine. I can’t wait until she sees the lovebite I left on her neck either. She’ll lose her shit. But that's what happens when she gets sassy with me. I want everyone to know we’re together. I want her to walk down the street and everyone to know she’s mine. That she has this impenetrable hold on me. I want her to know I love her. But it’s way too soon for all that. I think.

“I don’t think I can move. I live here now, Mama.” Penelope groans next to me and rubs her stomach. We’ve just eaten a veritable feast and we’re all in a food coma.

“You can’t live here. What would you do with your house?” Mama sits next to Pops and curls into his chest.

“Pffft. When dad goes back to work, I won’t be able to afford to keep it, so I’ll be fine.”

My head snaps to her, and before my mouth gives my brain a chance to keep up, I’m spewing my inner thoughts in front of everyone. “You don’t have to worry about that, Little One. If Hank comes back to work, I’ll find you another role. Or I can pay your rent. Either way, I’ll look after you, you don’t have to worry.” The reality of what I’ve said in front of everyone sinks in, and as I look around the room Mama smiles at me, Pops avoids my gaze, the brothers grimace, and Hank shakes his head in disappointment.

Shit, what have I done?

Penelope clears her throat, mumbles thanks, and stands up and leaves the living room without making eye contact.

I don’t know what to do and look to Angie for help. She mouths, “Go after her,” at me, and with a nod of his head, Hank confirms it for me.

I’m not sure where she’s gone as I hurry through the hallway, but a dull thud of a ball hitting the pavement gives me a clue. I lean against the doorframe and watch as she makes a shot. “Nothing but net, baby.” My joke falls flat as she continues to bounce the ball without looking at me. “Are you really not going to tell me what I did wrong?”

Her shoulders slump, and with her back to me still, she speaks. “What did I tell you before? I’m not some damsel in distress that needs saving. You can’t just take control of my life.”

She launches the ball again, but this time it’s aimed at my head. My reflexes kick in and I pluck it from the air before it hits its intended target. I drop the ball, watching as it rolls back toward her, and fold my arms over my chest as I try to filter the irritation from my voice. We’re back to this. Back to her getting defensive when she knows I just want to take care of her, not control her.

“Are we really doing this?”

“Yes, we are. You treated me like a child. Like I need you to look after me, when I don’t.” She slams her arms against her sides and turns her furious eyes to me. The gold flecks sparkle dangerously, reminding me of dancing flames.

“You said you’d lose your house if your dad came back to work. You asked to stay at the Bradys’. I thought I was helping. I didn’t mean to upset you.” Taking a tentative step closer to her, I frown when she backs away, shaking her head.

“No. You don’t get to do that. You’ll touch me and I’ll stop being angry and before you know it I’ll be moved into your apartment without realising what's happened.”

I can’t stop the smug grin from forming. “And that’s bad because?”

“Because I don’t want that. I don’t want my body to make decisions for me. You can’t make decisions for me. I know I give you control sometimes, but I don’t want that all the time, in every situation. And you definitely can’t swoop in and save me in front of my family. I need to do that for myself.”

This time when I reach for her she lets me, and I take her hand and entwine our fingers together. “I can accept that. But you have to understand that I’m the kind of person who looks after the people I love. It’s who I am.” I wait a second or two tolet my words sink in and watch as she pulls her lip between her teeth.

“Ben, I?—”

“Shhhh. You don’t need to say anything. Just accept it. I won’t stop trying to help you, Penelope. And maybe one day you’ll trust me enough to let me.”

She was supposed to spend the night with me tonight, but instinctively I know she needs time to think. I place a soft kiss on her temple and walk toward my car, hoping she’ll call me back and tell me she loves me too, even though I know she won’t. Maybe one day.

45

BEN

It always strikes me as odd to have a full office the day after Christmas. Spending years in England, recognising Boxing Day as a public holiday, it still takes some getting used to now I’m over here. A message pops onto the screen of my phone and I swipe it away without even looking at it. I know it’s from one of the Bradys, and I don’t have time to deal with them. I’ve neglected my business a little, and right now I’m all in with that and not anything else.

Anything else, meaning Penelope. The woman you declared your love to and then walked away from, you mean.

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