Page 12 of Hold On Me

Angie

I’m with your dad, and he knows you’re unemployed. I’m sorry.

Penny

Just fanfuckingtastic.

Angie

It gets worse.

Penny

You’re killing me right now.

Angie

He said he knows of a job going. It pays well. Has great benefits. You can start right away and you could do it easily.

Penny

Okay what's the catch?

Angie

It’s his job.

8

PENNY

Throwing my phone onto the sofa I groan loudly. Fucking Jameson. I’m not actually pissed with him, I’m pissed with myself more. I should have known I couldn’t keep a secret from him. He’s been like a bloodhound since we were kids, always sniffing out gossip before anyone else.

And because of that I’ve never been able to hide anything. Not even when I first started my period at thirteen. Even though I hadn’t told a soul because I was too embarrassed, he knew. I hid in my house. Pretended to be sick. And then he turned up at my door with a bar of chocolate, a box of pads, and a hug. What other thirteen year old boy would do that? He’s been my best friend for so long now, I sometimes forget about his ability to knoweverything.

He has a right to be worried about me. I’m worried too. But I also know if I told him the full story, he and his idiot brothers and Angie, would do something I don’t want.

It’s bad enough someone I’ve known my entire life propositioned me after I was already mauled by another man because they think I’m a whore like my mom. It’s embarrassing. Even if Director Allen wasn’t a total slimeball, he still would’ve asked me to leave. Once word got out one parent had pulledtheir donations, more would follow. A domino effect with rich bitch patrons. He wouldn’t risk the school shutting down due to insufficient funds. Not for me, anyway.

I’m so fucking angry, though. All those years I spent working there, helping to create programmes for future generations, putting my all into teaching those beautiful little babies, to not even be able to say goodbye.

I won’t get to see how they use the ten thousand dollars I donated. But in the grand scheme of things, a one-off payment is a drop in the ocean of contributions that Mr. and Mrs. Brooks and their cliqué gives, even if that one-off payment was a significant amount.

But what bothers me more than anything is the comparison to my mom. After all these years, she’s still coming back to haunt me. No matter how much I distance myself from her and her ways, she still manages to drag me back to her level.

I don’t drink, I’ve never been promiscuous, I got good grades and work hard to contribute toward the town, and yet it all boils down to being the daughter of the town drunk who cheated on my dad with anyone who’d have her.

My poor dad. He doesn’t deserve this. He never did. He wasn’t a bad husband, just too forgiving. And now, instead of making him proud, I feel like I’m disappointing him.

Maybe I should consider leaving Syracuse. Venture into the big wide world. Maybe Jaxson could help me find work in England. I could tutor or work in one of their primary schools Angie has told me about.

Who am I kidding? I couldn’t leave this place.

It’s my home.

I love it here.

Scoffing at myself, I snatch the remote off the small coffee table and turn the TV on. A bit of daytime entertainment shows can help take away my blues. I flick through the stations andstop when an all-too-familiar handsome face appears on screen. Ugh, an ad for the Syracuse Spartans. And as much as I hate him, I can’t draw my eyes away.

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