Page 105 of Hold On Me

“Just be grateful he doesn’t have a boat.” Murmuring the words quietly to myself more than anything, I’m shocked when Angie cackles and winks at me. Obviously I’m not the only one who’s heard his fantasies. They’re made for each other.

A throat clears to the right of me and I realise I’m still standing up. Without letting my gaze fall to her, I take a tentative seat and focus on a spot behind her head.

“I ordered you a drink. Nearly gave Marty a heart attack when I ordered a Scotch. He thought it was for me.”

Nodding my head, my gaze drifts down to the glass still clutched in her delicate hand, and I inhale sharply as our fingers brush when I take the glass from her. “Thanks. You didn't need to.”

I know I told Angie I’d listen, but I’m finding it hard to do anything right now. Her scent is intoxicating, a familiar green apples and vanilla, and all I want to do is pull her into my lapand remind her she’s mine. But I can’t. She’s made it clear she doesn’t want me like that, so I have to respect her wishes after all.

“But I did. It's the first of many things I have to do. My next thing is to apologise. For putting you in an impossible position. I should never have made you sign an NDA. I shouldn’t have hidden what happened from the people who care about me. If I’d told them, you wouldn’t have had to go through all the stress of thinking you’d lose the Spartans.”

She takes a quick breath and I keep my focus locked on my glass and the amber liquid in it. I know I should correct her, let her know I was never in danger of losing my team, but I want to hear what she has to say first.

“You won’t, by the way, lose them, I made sure of it.” My eyes snap to hers and she smiles softly. “There he is. Hi.” She doesn’t let her gaze waver and she keeps her focus on me and only me.

“What do you mean?”

“I had evidence. Of the first and second time Brooks assaulted me. I’d taken pictures of the bruises on my arms and had the report from urgent care from before. I had recordings of the way he spoke to me every time he propositioned me. I’d logged complaints to Director Allen about Brooks each time and I noted them all down. I also had a bunch of witnesses from the Gala who would vouch for me. I told him if he went ahead and sued you, anything he got from you I’d take from him, and more. His wife’s already taking half of what he has, I just promised to take the rest.”

She takes a sip of her coke while I struggle to contain the anger and pride soaring through me. She did that for me.

“He said he was dropping the case, but if he doesn’t, I’ll make good on my promise. I won’t let you lose the Spartans. I won’t be the reason you lose anything. I’m not your mom.” She swallowsand breaks her gaze and looks down to her glass. She’s fighting tears and I want to comfort her but I can’t, not yet.

“I’m already penniless.” My voice is low but she still hears it. She looks at me again and the pain and sadness in her hazel orbs almost breaks me.

“You did mean me. Jenson didn’t put two and two together because you never call me Penny, but I knew. Or at least, I hoped.”

She swallows back her emotions and squares her shoulders before speaking again. “I walked away from you because I was mad at you for embarrassing me and making me feel like I needed to be saved. I wasn’t thinking about how you felt. Seeing someone you…loved like that. Of course your first reaction would be to protect. I was in my own head, my insecurities louder than they’ve been in a while, and I couldn’t think clearly.” She shakes her head at herself, takes a deep breath, and locks her gaze with mine. “I’m sorry.”

The air whooshes out of me and I want nothing more than to reach over and soothe her. Tell her everything will be okay. But I can’t. She doesn’t want what I have to offer, and I can’t be anything to her if I can’t have it all.

“Apology accepted. Thank you for doing that with Brooks. But you should’ve done it for yourself, not for me.”

I attempt to stand, but she reaches over and grabs my hand. The touch sends a wave of heat through me and I stare at her hand on top of mine.

“Please don’t go. Not yet. I don’t want us to be like this.” Her voice is desperate, and I take a deep breath to try to keep my emotions at bay and lower back into my chair.

“I know what you want, Penelope, and I can’t give you that. I’m always going to want to protect you, look after you. And it’s not because I don’t think you’re capable of doing it yourself, it’s because I don’t want you to have to. You’ve kept everythinginside, relied on yourself for so long now, that you don’t know how to let anyone else help you. And I can’t sit back and watch bad things happen to you whilst you scrabble to get yourself out of them. Not when I can help you. I can’t. I love you, Penelope, but I can’t.”

I slowly take my hand away and stand from the table, fighting the emotions from my throat as I turn away from her.

Her chair scrapes back and she runs around me and stands with her hands on her hips, her bottom lip between her teeth and her eyes darting around the bar. “I want that, Ben. I want you to look out for me, protect me, rescue me for god's sake. I want that. I’ll rescue you back when I can. But I know now it doesn’t make me a damsel, it just makes me human. Please don’t walk away from this, from us. I love you.”

Those three words shatter everything inside me and I grab her and pull her against my chest. Her arms wrap around my waist and she tilts her head up to look at me.

“It’s about damn time, Little One.”

She sighs against my chest and I rest my chin on top of her head. After a few minutes, I put a little distance between us, my arms still wrapped around her, and she tilts her head back to look at me.

“You’re sure about this? You really want all of this? All of me? The way I am?” She nods, her eyes shining with unshed tears. “Thank fuck. You’ve had a hold on me for so long now, I’m glad you’re finally ready to accept what we are.”

The last thing I see is the smile on her face as I lower my head and capture her lips in mine. When I finally break our kiss, I rest my forehead against hers. I have a confession to make. “Erm, this may not be the right time to tell you this, but I was never in danger of losing the team. My lawyers are a fortress of steel when it comes to that kind of thing.”

Her brows furrow in confusion. “But Jenson said Brooks was suing you… Did he just lie to get me to do this? A grand gesture! I’m gonna kill him.”

My chuckle breaks the conversation she was having with herself and forces her eyes back to mine. “Hewassuing me. That’s true. But like I said, I was never worried about it. Jenson caught me at a particularly low moment and I offloaded all that onto him, but I neglected to let him know it was handled. It was my fault. Don’t kill your brother.”

“Fine. But you have to tell him that or he’s going to tell the whole damn world he helpedsavethe Spartans, and I can’t deal with another elaborate story where he’s the knight in shining armour.”

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