Page 78 of Count On Me

“I’ll leave you alone to read the note,” she whispers as she backs out of my room and closes the door.

I take a deep breath as I bring the paper up to read it, but when I see his handwriting scrawled over the page, it makes me cry all over again. Through blurry eyes, I squint to make out the words, but I can’t. Instead, I sit on the floor, cross legged, andjust breathe through my emotions. I take each breath and try to make my heart slow down. It’s screamingJax-sonwith each beat and I desperately want this to be enough for my stupid head.

Once I’ve regained my composure, I bring the letter up again and start to read as his voice takes over the words in my mind.

To My Eddie,

Firstly I want to tell you that I love you. That I’ve always loved you. And that no matter what happens between us, I always will. You’ve been a constant in my life for so long now that I took advantage of that. I thought you’d always be there for me, and when we had our near kiss a few years ago, the idea of losing you scared me so much that I ran away from you. But I could never sever our bond completely. I could never cut my losses and be truly apart from you. Because, without you, nothing makes sense.

Kicking a football around a pitch doesn’t make sense. Going out with friends doesn’t make sense. The world doesn’t make sense. Without you I was lost. For the past two years I’ve been lost.

I finally found my way home, but I fucked up. I’m sorry. I’m sorry for taking so long to admit that you and I were meant to be. I’m sorry for not having the balls to make you mine a long time ago. And I’m sorry that thefirst time I had the guts to ask you out I acted like a moron and pretended it was just as friends. That night was the start of us and the end too. Fuck, I hope it’s not the real end. Just the end of that part of us. Because, Eddie, I’m crazy about you, baby.

So I’m asking for a redo. I’m asking you to accompany me as my date. Not as friends, but on a romantic date, as my girlfriend, to the masquerade ball at my agent’s firm.

I asked Angie to help me pick a dress for you, so if you hate it, it’s her fault. But please don’t hate it. I saw you in it in my head and I almost popped a chub in the shop, Hawaii. I did choose those shoes though, because they’re my favourite.

Please say yes, Edie. I’ll be eternally grateful. I love you.

Jaxson.

P.S. I borrowed one of your books. We can discuss it while dancing if you want.

P.P.S. That photo should show just how much I loved you, even then.

XXXXXXX

I stay still and let his words absorb into my mind. He loves me. He wants me. And he wants to take me to a ball as his girlfriend. He’s admitted his faults. And he isn’t the only one toblame for our friendlationship going on for as long as it did. I should’ve been more open with him about my feelings too.

I quietly bring myself to my knees and lean over the bed, stroking the dress again. I grab it and stand to hold it against my body. It’s breathtaking, like a sexy princess dress. But could I wear something so daring? Would it look good on me?

Bloody Angie, this has her name written all over it. Flinging the door open to call for her, I find her already hovering outside. “Did you pick this?” I ask her whilst thrusting the lace and tulle in her face.

“Yep.” She pops the P and strides past me into my bedroom. “Stop thinking and try it on. If you don’t like it, I’ll come shopping with you to find a new one. But just know he was so excited by this dress?—”

“I know, he almost popped a chub.” I finish her sentence for her but she barks out laughter, which surprises me.

“I was going to say he was so excited he couldn’t wait to see your reaction to this dress. But yours is much better.” She cackles, and instead of being cross with her I giggle alongside her. “Try it on. There’s just you and me here and you know I’ll tell you the truth.”

I hesitate for a fraction of a second and heave out a sigh of fake annoyance. I want to see what this dress looks like on me. I’ve never tried anything so daring, sexy, or glamorous before. And knowing Jaxson picked it for me is doing all sorts of things to my lady parts.

“Fine. But if I hate it, no trying to convince me to wear it still. Deal?” She crosses her heart and smirks when I unzip the hoodie I’m wearing, slip into the dress and close my eyes.

Angie fastens me into it and I take a huge breath before opening my eyes and turning to the mirror. I stand in stunned silence, shocked by how well it fits me. It’s like the dress was made for me. The corset style nips my waist in and the fullnessof the skirt covers up any lumps and bumps I may or may not have. My eyes fall to the ugly red scar left by Jordan and my hand instinctively comes up to cover it.

Angie stands behind me and her face appears next to mine in the mirror. She reaches around and brings my hand away from my collarbone and links her fingers with mine. “Don’t give it that power, chick. Look at it as your survivor badge. Wear it with pride. It’s a part of your story, Edie. A part of you. And you are fucking incredible.”

As my eyes meet hers in the reflection, I smile and let the unshed tears fall. “Thank you,” I whisper to her. She squeezes my hand and my eyes return to looking at this spectacular dress.

“Are you going to wear it?” she asks me and I nod my head at her. “So this means you and Jaxson are back on?” Hope fills her voice, and I nod my head again. “Eeeeeekkkkkk I’m so happy. Text him and tell him you accept. I’ll help you out of this.”

She unzips me and I grab some PJs from my drawer next to my bookcase. I feel very plain now and not at all fancy. Whilst Angie hangs the dress in my wardrobe, I look to see what book he took and roll my eyes when I realise it’s one about footballers.

“Right,” Angie chirps, pulling my attention back to her. “I’m going to actually make some tea now and order some food too. I’ll leave you to your texts. I’m so happy right now.”

As she closes the door I’m already grabbing my phone off the nightstand and opening up our text thread.

Me

---