Page 63 of Count On Me

“But I did. He took your picture from my apartment.” The words spill from my mouth and I tell her everything this time. “I told the detectives about it after you left. They told me it was a strong indication Jordan considered you a target too. It’s why I hired Bruce as your security guard. I should’ve told you when we were texting, but I didn’t want to scare you anymore than you were.”

Her face is frozen in a frown and I don’t know what to do, so I carry on with my deluge of verbal diarrhoea. “I texted you after we talked. I knew your phone would be on ‘Do not disturb’ but I thought you’d see it in the morning. But you woke up late and you didn’t. And before Bruce could introduce himself to you, you ran.”

It takes her a second to process what I’ve said, and I can pinpoint the exact moment her anger takes over. Her cheeks flush with rage and her eyes take on a murderous glint.

“Oh, I’m sorry a huge, tattooed man started following me and I got freaked out,” she spits out angrily at me.

I splutter and shake my head, “No. That's not… I didn’t mean... Eddie, I’m sorry. None of this is your fault.”

“No, it’s yours. Everything is your fault. And my name is Edie,” she says quietly, and the air whooshes out of my body.

With the wind knocked out of my sails, I take a step away from her bed. I know I deserve it, but hearing it is a blow I don’t think I can take.

“Edie, you don’t mean that, baby girl,” Erin tells her, but she just shakes her head.

“Don’t tell me what I’m feeling, Mum. You don’t know the half of it. You don’t understand how many chances I’ve given him. And it’s always me that gets hurt. He goes out and sleepswith everyone and anyone, and I get hurt. He dedicates himself to me and I’m still the one who’s hurt. I can’t do it anymore. It’s been too many years of me in pain. Just leave me alone. Please. Both of you. Go!” She shouts the last word and I flinch at the harsh tone in her voice.

That’s not Eddie. Not My Eddie.

Her mom’s steely gaze swipes over her and she raises her eyebrow and silently scolds her daughter.

My heart feels like it’s shattered into a million pieces. And the worst part is, I can’t argue with her. I spent years keeping her safely at a distance knowing how she felt. I slept with women knowing she would see it and be hurt by it to try to get her to walk away from me. So I wouldn’t ruin everything we had.

And yet, I still managed to ruin it.

I turn on my heel and walk toward the door. As I clutch the handle tightly, I turn back and tell her, “I’m sorry, Edie. I’ve loved you since we were kids and I’ll never stop. I’ll also never forgive myself for putting you through any form of pain. But you’re right. I won’t do it anymore. I love you, Eddie. Hawaii.”

I open the door and walk out into the hallway. I wait for a few minutes before I leave the hospital, getting myself in check because right now the pain in my chest is unbearable. It feels so wrong to walk away from her, but I have to. No matter how much the hollow empty feeling in my chest aches.

The door opens again and Erin walks out with a face like thunder. As she walks toward me, I brace myself for the full wrath to come, but, instead, she places her hand on my shoulder. “Don’t give up on her, Jaxson. She’s waited for you her whole life. It’s your turn to wait for a little while now. She needs to get her head around everything. She didn’t mean any of what she just said. Show her you’re in it for the long haul. Show her she can count on you. Show her you’re sorry. She’s hurting and lashing out at the ones who love her the most. You’re one of themost important people in her life, Jaxson. Prove to her that she is to you as well. Give her time, but don’t give up.”

I nod my head and wrap my arms around her. “You’re not leaving her, are you?” I ask and roll my eyes at my stupidity when she starts to chuckle against my shoulder.

“Nope. She may think she can tell me what to do, but she’s crazy if she thinks I’ll listen. I’m here all night, and I’ll keep you updated, Son.”

40

EDIE

“Stop fussing over me. I’m fine. I don’t understand why I have to stay in a fu-dging hotel room though.” I grumble at my mum as she side-eyes me over my near slip of the tongue.

“We’ve already told you, Little Miss Annoyed. We’re keeping a low profile. At the minute, the press don't know who you are, but they might find out. Jaxson wants you safe if they do. The story broke overnight and they’re like bloodhounds trying to piece all the facts together. Stop moaning. Jaxson’s paying for us to stay in this suite for as long as it takes them to forget about it all. We also have Bruce with us. Jaxson insisted.”

The mention of his name makes my heart beat faster and my eyebrows draw together. I’m so mad he kept information from me again. And this time it almost cost me so much more than hurt feelings. But I’ve been reminded time and time again by Angie and my mum that he didn’t lie to me, he texted me. I just didn’t see it.

But this time I can’t let it go. I wish I could brush it all under the carpet like I’ve done every other time I’ve been bulldozed by him, but every time I close my eyes I’m faced with Jordan’s wild ones. I can feel his palm running roughly over my body. The coolsteel blade on my skin. The way he smiled as he licked my blood from the knife. It makes my stomach roil and I place my hand on it to quell the nausea. I shiver and force my mind to think of other things. Things like being cooped up in this bloody suite with my mum and Angie, who are both firmly on team Jaxson.

I know I’m being a bitch by ignoring him. He’s texted me nearly every hour but I can’t force myself to read them or reply yet. It’s too soon.

“You gonna pout all day or are you gonna get your arse over here to watch Netflix with us?” Angie calls out to me, and I smirk when I hear my mum slap her on the back of the head followed by Angie’s mumbled, “Sorry Erin.”

“Fine,” I groan and force myself to slowly stand up and head into the living area. I sit down on the armchair and Angie scoots over to sit on the floor next to me as my mum lounges on the sofa. I know what Angie wants, and without asking I reach forward and take the hair tie out of her hair and start to run my fingers through it. Something I’ve done since we were younger. My mum smiles at the pair of us and presses play on the remote.

As the title starts to roll, I find my mind wandering. Remembering things that I don’t need to remember. Don’t want to remember. Jordan’s words flash through my mind.Cock tease.That’s what he called me. I close my eyes against the onslaught of images of him, the knife, the blood, the pain, his words that assault my mind. I try to steady my breathing. I tell myself over and over again that he isn’t here, he can’t hurt me. I’m safe. After several seconds I manage to calm down, the panic releases the tight hold it had on my chest and I can breathe easier. I open my eyes and find Angie and my mum both watching me.

“Sorry.” I tell them quietly, embarrassed that I let my thoughts run away with me again.

“Stop apologising. You’re stronger than you realise, chick.” I love how encouraging my mum is, she’s always been like this, but I still roll my eyes at her because I’m not sure how much I believe her this time.

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