Page 46 of Count On Me

When the silence begins to get uncomfortable, and I know she’s said what she’s going to say, I ask, “What should I do? Delete him? Block him? Unfollow him? The fake boyfriend didn’t work, flirting with another man didn’t work. I’m out.” I drop my head on the table and she reaches over and strokes my hair.

“Maybe we don’t need to make a decision right now. Maybe we just spend this Saturday chilling out and being slobs.”

I nod, my head still pressed against the table, and sigh. Maybe I just need to forget all about stupid Brady and his stupidly handsome face.

A loud, shrill noise fills my bedroom and I jump up, disoriented and confused. I scowl at the perpetrator for nearly giving me a heart attack and the screen turns black before I can answer and see who was calling me at such an ungodly hour. I groan as I reach over and bring the phone closer to my face—because without glasses or contacts, I can’t see for shit—and tap the screen.

Jaxson’s name flashes up with a missed call and I whisper ‘for God’s sake’ into the darkness. It’s three in the morning. He’s either phoning me because he’s drunk, lonely, or something bad has happened. I don’t want to talk to a drunk Jaxson and listen to him reminisce about our childhood and simpler times. It’s something he always does when he’s drunk. And I definitely don’t want to be his emotional booty call either.

But what if something is wrong? What if he needs me? My finger hovers over the screen whilst my brain tries to figure out what to do. As if by the fate of the gods, my decision is taken out of my hands when a notification for a voicemail pops up on the screen. I sigh, reach for my glasses, because for some reason my stupid brain thinks I need these to hear better, and hit play. Jaxson’s voice filters through the line. Definitely drunk.

“Eddie. Sorry, Edie. My Edie. No. My Eddie. I know you don’t want me to call you that, but that’s whatya are. My Eddie. Everyone calls you Edie, but no one calls you Eddie. It’s beenmy name for you forever. I like it. I like you. I like your stupid name. And your stupid lips. And fuck, Eddie, I like your tits too. Shit, did I say that out loud? Nah, we’re cool, Bro. She didn’t hear us.”

A little giggle escapes my lips as I listen to a drunk Jaxson talk with himself, not realising I can hear it all.

“I’m a little, no, alotta drunk. I got expended today. Expanded? No, wait, shut up a minute. Expended today. Yeah. Expended. For two matches. I gotta sit in the crowd like a chump. Hey, you wanna come with me? Nah, Bro, she’s gonna wanna bring her chump boyfriend, Tim. Fuck him. No, actually, don’t fuck him. Please don’t fuck him. Fuck me. I wanna sex you. No, I wanna love you. That’s not right, Bro, we love her. Yeah, we do. High five that. He didn’t high five me, My Eddie.”

My breath catches in my throat and a tear slips down my cheek. He doesn’t mean it, the little voice in my head tells me, but my heart fills with hope.

“Jameson tolded me to be straight with you, Jenson called me a dumbass, and Penny thinks you deserve better. And I am and you do. My Eddie. But you’re a dumbass too. Bro, don’t call her a dumbass. Call her a fineass. Yeah, bro. Eddie. Why can’t you see you the way I see you? You think I see an eight-year-old you when I look at you? You’re stupider than I thought. I see the grown-ass woman you are. I like your fucking ass a lot. I’ve fucked my hand to memories of your ass alone. Shhh, Bro, don’t tell her that, it’s a secret. Shit, okay. Eddie, forget you heard that.

Anyway, what was I saying? Oh yeah, you’re gorgeous, funny, smart and way too good for Jordan. We got expended today, Eddie. It’s against the rules to fight with your teammates. But he shouldn’t dance with Little Reds that he knows his teammates love. You’re my Eddie, not his.”He startsto slur “Somewhere Over the Rainbow,” and even though the words are messed up, I can’t help but smile. He only sings for me and it always makes me happy.

“Gramps was wrong. I ran outta time. No more time for more, Eddie. You shouted at me. You said you were done. I hope not. You need to count on me like I count on you. I want all the things with you, My Eddie. All the things. I want forever with you. Hawaii, Eddie. Oh shit. I’m gonna puke…”

He hangs up and I don’t know what the hell I’m going to do. Do I ignore his drunken ramblings or act on them? My nan always said the truth comes out when you’re drunk. Is this his truth? I know it’s mine. Why couldn’t he have said all this sober?

Because then it would’ve been too damn easy to be a feature in what I like to call the shitshow that is Edie’s life.

28

JAXSON

I pull the pillow over my head and try to stop the dull ache that’s pounding in my skull. It doesn’t work. Nothing works. I roll over and try to figure out what time it is without opening my eyes, but moan loudly when I can’t hear any birds or sounds from outside to give me a clue.

I open one eye slowly, trying not to make my hangover any worse than it already is. Ten a.m. I need coffee, but that means I have to move. Fuck, I hate living alone sometimes. I throw the covers off, wincing as the movement sends more pounding to my head, and sit upright in bed. The picture of My Eddie stares at me from my bedside table. Judging me.

Shit, did I talk to her last night? No, I’d remember it if I had. Must’ve been a damn dream.

Stumbling into my bathroom, I wince when I see my reflection, and instead of seeking caffeine, which I need badly, I decide to hop into the shower instead. The heat and steam feel good, but the pounding in my head won’t let me fully enjoy it.

Washing my hair as quickly as my hungover muscles will let me, I jump out, throw a towel around my waist, and grab my toothbrush to rinse away the bad taste of my decisions from lastnight. The kitchen hasn’t fared much better, and I look around the remnants of the pity party for one I threw myself. I’m grateful no one else was invited up in my inebriated state.

I swallow the painkillers and open the fridge to see what food I have in there, but I’m disturbed by a knock on the door. There are only three people allowed up to my door without the front desk having to notify me first. Jordan, because he lives across the hall from me, but I doubt it’s him. Not after our little rumble in the jungle. Eddie, but again she won’t be here now. And Lockheart. I bet that fucker’s here to stage a one man intervention.

Ignoring the knock, I keep rummaging in my fridge. If I ignore him, long enough, he’ll take the hint and leave.

Another knock.

I grab some eggs and bread and make my way over to the stove.

Another knock.

This guy can’t take a hint at all.

I crack the eggs into a mug and start whipping them when I hear a key turn in the lock. There’s only one person who has my key.

Edie.

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