And instead of reassuring him like I usually would, I shrug my shoulders again. “I don’t know. A change is as good as a rest.”
“What the fuck does that mean?” he scoffs, but thankfully I’m saved from answering as the waiter comes over to take our orders.
Once he leaves with Jax’s usual order and my new order of cannelloni, Jaxson gives me a pointed look, complete with raised eyebrow. I open my mouth to answer him, when the flash of my phone screen and the notification of a text makes us both look down. I leave the phone on the table for a few seconds, long enough for him to see the name Tom, and then quickly pick it up.
“Sorry, Jaxson. Let me just reply to this and I’ll be with you.” I quickly type out a reply to Tom/Angie and place my phone back on the table. “Right, where were we?” I ask and smile innocently at him.
I’m met with a scowl. “Who’s Tom? New friend?” His voice is calm, but I notice the tick of his jaw tightening with each second it takes for me to answer. And I like it. I like the idea of him being jealous over me. Levels the playing field between us.
“Yeah, he is.” That's all I offer. Another of Angie's tricks—let him fish for the answers.
His brows are drawn so tightly together they look like one giant eyebrow, and his teeth are clamped firmly together as heasks, “Where'd you meet him?” He fixes his stare and his eyes bore into me.
I start to adjust in my seat but manage to stop myself and reach for my water again instead. I’m meant to be cool, calm and collected, not a fidgeting mess. He has to believe this.
Bringing the glass to my lips, hoping I’m coming across as blasé, I casually tell him, “I met him through Angie. He makes me laugh so much. I’m actually meeting him later on with a few others.” I quickly take a sip of my water to distract him from my nervousness. Technically I’m not lying. I did ‘meet’ Tom through Angie, and I am meeting ‘him’ later on, he just doesn’t know that Angie and Tom are the same person. I watch as his leg bounces again and the tick in his jaw gets dangerously faster.
“Okay, cool. Cool. Yeah, cool. How long you been friends with him?”
If it wasn’t so serious, I’d be giggling at his attempt to be ‘cool’ about this. Instead, I play with the stem of my glass and tell him, “A little while. Angie introduced us and we hit it off. She thinks he has a crush on me, but I disagree. He’s just a friend.” Trying to remember what she told me to say is hard work and I have a newfound respect for actors worldwide.
“Angie introduced you? Cool. So you, er, you dressed up for him?” I’m slightly worried his leg is going to bounce clean off his body with how fast it’s going.
“I dressed up for me, Jax. You know, you could just say ‘you look nice, Edie,’ instead of asking who I dressed up for. Actually, it’s nice to see you noticed this time, to be honest.” I lower my lashes and take a sip of my water.
“I always notice, Edie. And you look fucking gorgeous, you always do to me. Doesn’t matter what clothes you wear. Your beauty is inside and out.” He takes a breath and whispersHawaii.
I bring my eyes up to his, my mouth gaping open, and watch as so many emotions flit over his face. Before I can grab any and question him about them, a waiter interrupts us with our food and the moment is lost.
15
JAXSON
My feet pound the treadmill as Eminem raps about not being afraid in my earbuds. The sweat is dripping off me, my legs aching with the amount of miles I’ve run, but I don’t care. All I care about is my best fucking friend dating some douche named Tom.
I don’t like the fact that she’s dressing up for him. I despise the fact that she wants to be out with some other dude rather than be at home with me. And I hate that she looked fucking gorgeous for him. I had to stop myself from salivating when I caught a glimpse of the lacy red bra underneath her top. Damn near popped a boner when I hugged her and that tropical scent of coconuts hit my nose. And then she had the damn cheek to question whether I pay attention to her when she’s all I fucking think about. All day long, every damn day. How does she not know how much I care about her?
Because you’ve told her she’s your best FRIEND over and over again. And you call her Eddie all the time. And you told her you never saw what she wore before, just saw your ol’ pal Eddie. Because you’ve known her your whole fucking life andnever made a move on her and now you’re stuck in this weird friendlationship. Fucking idiot!
I slam my fist onto the treadmill’s operating panel and let out a loud groan at my own stupid brain. As the machine comes to a slow stop, I feel a hand on my shoulder and turn my head to see who it is.
Lockheart’s concerned eyes hit me and I try to put a smile on my face, but the effort of it all is too much and I just hang my head and mutter, “Shit.”
“Locker room. Now. Then we’re going back to yours to talk. Come on.”
I want to argue and refuse to move, but I know Lockheart well enough to know he isn’t going to take no for an answer. Reluctantly, I step off the treadmill and gather my stuff. As we get showered and changed, we don’t speak. Not one word. I jump into my car and drive home with him following me. I park in the underground lot, not wanting to face the press outside the main entrance. We step into the elevator in complete silence and stay like that for the entire ride up to my floor. As soon as my apartment door closes behind me, Lockheart speaks.
“Now spill, motherfucker.”
Even though I feel like shit, I laugh. “Dude, you didn’t speak one word to me since the gym, and you chose those to be the ones you start with.” I shake my head and walk into the kitchen, flipping the coffee machine on so I don’t flip him off. I know Lockheart has tea, he’s British after all, so I also flip the switch on the kettle that Edie made me buy. Apparently the coffee machine doesn’t make tea right.
Damn Edie. She’s always in my thoughts, yet doubts I even notice her.
What the fuck have I been doing for the past two years? Why haven’t I just grabbed her by the shoulders and kissed hersenseless? Told her she’s all I want and have wanted for my whole life?
Because I’m a coward.
I’m scared of losing what we have. I’m terrified of fucking up and making her hate me. I can deal with most things life throws at me, but Edie hating me? I can’t deal with that. I like looking in her eyes and seeing them sparkle with love for me. If that love turned to hate or resentment, I’d never be able to come back from that.