Page 9 of When Love Changes Everything

“What about Marian?” I ask, bracing myself before finishing my question. “Could you have loved her, too?”

“No,” he replies immediately. The certainty in his voice is jarring.

“So it was just an affair,” I say, feeling a sense of relief and heaviness all at once. “Nothing more.”

“Nothing more,” he confirms, his gaze steady. “I’m a good father, but I never claimed to be a good man.”

I swallow the lump in my throat. “How can you say that?” I ask, his words sinking in like a clear warning to keep my distance. A pang of hurt stirs inside me, sharper than I’d like to admit.

“I’m just being honest,” he says softly, catching my frown, yet his eyes betray a flicker of regret, as if he knows his words are hurtful.

“Your coldness reminds me of Marian,” I reply, hoping my words will strike a nerve, just as his have cut through me.

“Don’t ask a question you’re not ready to hear the answer to,” he says, his tone blunt and unyielding.

We drive to the hospital in complete silence. I’m not usually at a loss for words, but this revelation has left me speechless. What more is there to say? The truth is sinking in with a sharp finality: if I let myself get close to this man, he will break my heart. This is what Lily meant. I almost let Mateo charm his way into my life.

***

"Can I come in?" I ask, poking my head into Loren's hospital room.

"Of course," she says, smiling warmly. "Come in."

The twins are wide awake. They're tiny, but healthy and strong. My heart swells when I make eye contact with each of them. Thelittle boy has a head full of dark hair like Loren’s, and the baby girl has Aaron's adorable dimples. They’re perfect.

Loren notices the tear slipping down my cheek. "Are you okay?" she asks gently.

I nod, smiling through the emotion. "Yes. They’re tears of joy, I promise."

She gives me a knowing look. "I know you, Lisa. Did something happen? I mean, the flood in your condo is frustrating, but you have insurance. And Lily's guesthouse is available for as long as you need it."

I shake my head. "It’s not that," I say softly.

"Is it Mateo?" Her question stops me in my tracks.

I try to brush it off, but Loren raises an eyebrow. "Don’t give me that look," she says. "What happened?"

"Nothing happened," I say, a little too quickly. "And nothing is going to happen. I’m not into older men."

She tilts her head, her eyes searching mine with that knowing glint. "Who are you trying to kid?"

"He’s not a good man," I say, matter-of-factly.

"He produced a pretty amazing daughter," she reminds me.

"Lily is pretty awesome," I concede. "Don't take me wrong, he made it clear to me that he’s a good dad…but not a good man."

She frowns, eyebrows drawing together. "What does that even mean?"

"Lily has warned me about her dad for years," I say. "He’s charming and handsome. Smart and funny. He can be so caring, so thoughtful…kind and sweet."

“I'm sure he's all those things,” she agrees. “But he hurt Sophia. It ended their marriage, and yet… according to him, she’s still the only woman he’s ever truly loved. He’s never had a serious relationship since.” She pauses, and her gaze tells me she's debating whether to continue. “Lisa, you’re not the kind of woman who goes for flings, one-night stands, or tangled affairs.”

I sigh, wrestling with my thoughts. "You’re right, but I can’t help it—I like him, Loren. He’s exciting, mature, different. He makes me feel special…beautiful…wanted."

"But do you trust him?" she says, watching me closely.

"I can trust that he’ll be honest with me," I say slowly. "He pretty much let me know that I can't expect a happily-ever-after with him."

---