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Lil: I’m up.

I almost put my phone aside, but curiosity gets the better of me, and I open VibeGrid again. The first photo that greets me is a selfie of Blake and Sebastian, posted mere seconds ago, with the caption ‘My boy Bash ♥’

Her boy? Are they together again? Is it because I ignored him?

The bile is rising in my throat, and I manage to open the lid of the toilet in time. When the spasms finally cease, I rinse my mouth.

Is she what Sebastian wants? Someone more outgoing, more daring, more… everything?

I feel like I’ve been transported into one of my beloved regency novels, where the dashing duke has cast aside the naive heroine for a more alluring and experienced woman.

In those stories, the heroine would pine away, her heart shattered, while the duke continued his libertine ways. She would suffer in silence, her love unrequited, until some dramatic turn of events would finally open the duke’s eyes to the error of his ways.

But this isn’t a novel. He chose Blake. She’s everything I’m not - confident, self-assured, unafraid to go after what she wants. Maybe she’s the kind of woman a man like Sebastian needs, someone who can keep up with him, challenge him, excite him.

And maybe I’m just the naive little girl who got in over her head, who thought a few heated moments meant something more than they did. The foolish heroine who let herself believe that a rake could change, that he could want her for more than just a fleeting conquest.

Guess I should be thanking her again…

In the novels, this could be the moment where the heroine pulls herself together, determined to win back her man and prove her worth.

But I’m not that heroine. I’m just Lil. And right now, all I want to do is curl up with one of those novels and lose myself in a world where love always finds a way, even if it seems impossible.

I huff.

Okay. I can do this. I can make it through this day. I can fake being okay.

With some concealer, I hide the dark circles and apply some blush to look less pale. That should do.

I drop my phone onto the bed and curl up under the covers once more. My mind and body ache with a bone-deep tiredness. The nightmares are the only thing I can count on.

The door bursts open, and Jason strides in. “You’re going to be late again.”

I sit up and wipe my eyes. “Sorry. Let’s go.”

He frowns, coming over to sit beside me on the bed. “How much sleep did you get this night?”

“Enough.” I avoid his gaze, not wanting to discuss it. He’ll only lecture me again.

“What’s really going on with you lately? You’ve been acting strange for the last few days. First showing up at my football practice, walking around like a zombie, and now this.”

My throat tightens. I know Jason cares and only wants to help, but how can I possibly tell him about Sebastian? Is there even something to talk about?

“Everything is fine,” I say.

Jason sighs. “Come on, get ready for class. I’ll walk you there.”

I hesitate, then nod. The thought of facing Sebastian makes my stomach twist into knots. At least with Jason there, I’ll have a buffer. I even stayed away from the library. But now that Sebastian has Blake, I don’t need to avoid it anymore, right?

I stand up and walk over to my desk, prepping my bag.

“Jay?”

“Yeah?”

“Please stop bursting into my room. We’re not kids anymore.”

“Whatever you want. I’ll wait outside.” He leaves the room, leaving me alone again.

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