Complicated relationship.
Yeah, I know all about that.
Chapter 32
Sebastian
Six days. It’s been six fucking days of pure torture, watching her from afar, unable to talk to her, touch her, hold her.
Give her time. Great fucking advice, sis.
I’m going crazy here, and my headaches are back.
I sit in the cafeteria, my eyes glued to Lil as she eats lunch with Gemma, Mary, and fucking Jason. It kills me to see her laughing with them, smiling at him.
She went back to being friends with Gemma and Mary so easily, and it’s only fair because they didn’t know about our family’s history. But me? I knew. And I kept it from her.
Fuck. The closed-off look on her face. The distance in her eyes. She looked at me like I was a stranger, like I’d betrayed her. And I did. But I was trying to protect her, trying to keep her safe from all this bullshit. I never meant to hurt her.
Who am I kidding?
It was wrong. I was wrong.
She’s strong enough. She showed it even when we were kids.
I should have trusted in what we have and told her. Let her decide for herself.
My fingers drum restlessly on the table as Jason moves closer to Lil.
That self-righteous prick is acting like he’s some kind of savior. His fucking hands on her makes my blood boil. He doesn’t deserve her. He doesn’t know her like I do.
Why does he have to be so damn close to her?
Doesn’t he have any respect for boundaries? Lil shifts away from his touch, but Jason either doesn’t notice or doesn’t care.
Gemma glances up, meeting my stare from across the room. Her eyes narrow, and she shakes her head in warning. I know what she’s thinking—don’t make a scene. But fuck I want to march over there and put Jason in his place.
According to Gem, Lil already did that. She told him off. My girl told him off. I can’t help the smirk that spreads across my face at the thought.
Yet, it was for them, not for me. She welcomed them back with open arms. And here I am, still on the outside looking in. It’s my own damn fault. I know that. But it doesn’t make it any easier to swallow.
I need to get her back. I need to make her understand that what we have is real and that my feelings for her are genuine. But how? How do I break through those walls she’s put up?
I run a hand through my hair, frustration coursing through me. I can’t lose her. I won’t. I’ll do whatever it takes to proveto her that I’m not the monster she thinks I am. That I love her more than anything.
My gaze lingers on Lil, taking in her delicate features and the shadows beneath her eyes. She hasn’t been sleeping well. Nightmares plaguing her. Sometimes, I sneak into her room at night and try to soothe her nightmares by massaging her wrists or temples. One time, she woke up and almost saw me. It’s dangerous, but I can’t help it.
The group chat pings.
Brandon: Dude, where the hell are you? Coach is already screaming at us. We’re supposed to be on the field in 2 minutes. You’re late again.
Connor: Seriously. Does this guy even have good days?
Brandon: About as often as we actually finish practice on time.
Sebastian: Be there soon. Stall for me?
Brandon: You owe me. Hurry the fuck up.