Page 39 of Closer

I flinch. “How can you say that? After everything we—”

“Everything we what?” He cuts me off, eyes blazing. “Everything we had? It was a lie. A fucking lie you constructed.”

His last words echo through my mind.Did you really think I fell for you? That I could ever care for someone as pathetic as you when I can have Blake?

Tears prick at the back of my eyes. “It wasn’t a lie to me.” I’m so stupid.

“You never loved me. I was a means to an end for your revenge.”

“That’s not true.” My voice cracks. “I loved you. I still—” I bite my lip. I can’t say it. I won’t give him the satisfaction.

His eyes search mine.

“We’re not doing this again.” I turn to go, but he grabs my wrist.

“We are. Say it.”

“I still love you, okay?” The words burst out of me, raw and unbidden. “Is that what you want to hear? That after everything, I’m still so fucking stupid that I can’t let you go? That I had a sliver of hope that this could work out?”

His eyes widen, his lips parting. Then his expression hardens. “You don’t mean that.”

“Don’t tell me what I mean.” My hands curl into fists at my sides. “You don’t get to do that anymore.”

He steps closer, crowding into my space. “Then why did you lie to me? If you loved me so much, why did you choose him over me?”

“I didn’t choose anyone over you.” My voice rises. “You left me, remember? You walked away.”

“Because you betrayed me.” His eyes flash with barely contained fury. “I trusted you, and you—”

“Fell in love with you? Wanted to be with you?” A choked laugh forces its way out of me. “Yeah, I’m a real fucking villain.”

He drags a hand over his face, his shoulders slumping. “That’s not what I meant.”

“Then what did you mean? Because you got what you wanted and then tossed me aside like I was nothing. Twice.”

This time, he flinches. “That’s not—I never meant to hurt you.”

“But you did.” My voice breaks. “You destroyed us. Me.” I hit his chest. “You said it yourself. You could never love someone as pathetic as me. So what do you want from me? Can’t you just let me go?”

A storm of emotions swirls in the depths of his eyes. Regret, anger, longing. “I’m sorry,” he whispers. “I’m so fucking sorry.”

I squeeze my eyes shut, a single tear slipping down my cheek. “Please let me go.”

“I can’t.”

“Why not? So you can tell me how pathetic I am again? How much you hate me? To make me feel even more alone than I already do? To tell me I’m yours and then leave me?”

“I don’t hate you. I never could.”

“Then what do you want from me?”

“Answers.” His voice is tense. “Why did you do it?”

“I don’t understand. What more do you want me to say?” I choke out. “That I’m sorry for what happened between us? Because I am. I’m so damn sorry for not telling you about Jason. I thought it didn’t matter because I didn’t love him. I never have. It wasn’t put in stone. It was just a stupid joke by our families. I’m sorry. I should have told you. I made a mistake—a terrible, unforgivable mistake and I regret it every day. So, please let me go.” I can’t anymore. I just can’t.

“Damn it.” He crowds me against the wall.

And the whole world stops.

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