I nearly jump out of my skin at the sound of Sebastian’s voice. The book tumbles from my hands, landing on the floor with a thud.
Chapter 28
Sebastian
I bend to retrieve the fallen book, my fingers brushing against hers as we both reach for it.
Lil snatches it up, hugging it to her chest. Her cheeks are flushed, her eyes wide. “I… um…”
“Sorry.” I’m not sorry at all. I like seeing her flustered. “Didn’t mean to sneak up on you.”
She tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. “I was looking around. I didn’t mean to snoop.”
“Find anything good?” I nod towards the book she’s still clutching like a lifeline.
“Oh, um…” She glimpses down at the cover as if she’s forgotten what she’s holding. “It is Pride and Prejudice… My favorite.”
“Is that so?” I step closer, crowding into her space. She backs up instinctively until her spine hits the bookshelf. Trapped. “Didn’t know it’s your favorite.”
“You didn’t?”
Okay, I did. That’s why that book is in here. “Apparently.” I pluck it from her grasp, flipping it open to a random page. “In vain, I havestruggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you.” I glance up at her. “Sounds familiar.”
She swallows, her throat bobbing.
I snap the book shut, placing it back on the shelf beside her head. “Why is it your favorite?”
“It’s honest. Raw.” She’s not looking at me, her gaze fixed on a point over my shoulder. “Darcy bares his soul to Elizabeth, even though he knows she might reject him.”
I inch closer, my arm braced on the shelf above her. “Is that what you want? Someone to bare their soul to you? Make some grand, romantic gesture?”
She meets my gaze head-on, unflinching. “I want someone who’s not afraid to fight for what they want. For who they want.”
The air crackles between us. I’ve fought for her. I’m still fighting. Can’t she see that?
But I’m not Darcy. I’m not some storybook hero who waxes poetic about his feelings. I’m flesh and blood, flawed and fucked up. And the only declaration I’ve got is written on my skin, etched into my bones.
I want her. I need her. I love her even if I don’t say it out loud now. And she knows it.
“Anne did a good job.” Her voice is barely a whisper, but it shatters the moment like glass.
I blink, stepping back before I kiss her. Or confess my undying devotion like Darcy and scare her off. “Yeah, she did.”
Lil walks over to the plush armchairs by the window, a soft chuckle escaping her lips. “You know, it’s funny. I once described my perfect library to Anne, and these chairs… they’re exactly what I pictured.”
If she only knew. I hired Anne because she knows Lil and because she could give her the perfect space. A piece of home in my world.
Her gaze drifts to the shelf with the ladder, and her body becomes rigid, her eyes widening. “It’s—”
“We should probably check on dinner before it burns.” I jerk my chin towards the door.
She hesitates, her gaze searching mine. She might push, might demand the confession I’m not ready to give.
“Right. Okay.” She slips past me, her shoulder brushing mine in the narrow space between the shelves. Even that brief touch is enough to set my nerve endings on fire.
Christ, this woman will be my death.
I trail after her into the kitchen, the aroma of garlic and tomato sauce hitting me like a wave. My stomach grumbles in response. I didn’t realize how hungry I was until now.