Page 42 of Closer

“Fuck. Is it because of Serena? Please, you must believe me that there is nothing between her and me.”

“You’re playing me again, aren’t you?”

He sighs. “I’m not. What can I do so you believe me?”

“Nothing.”

His thumb brushes over my cheekbone. “I know I fucked up. But I’m trying here, Lil. I’m really fucking trying.”

I analyze his face, seeking out any subtle signs of deception. But all I see is raw honesty, a vulnerability he rarely shows.

“I want to believe you,” I say. “But I can’t.”

“I won’t lose you again.”

“Youalready did.”

His hands fall away, and I flee, dodging staff, Gemma, Mary, and guests alike until I’m at the elevator, hammering the button.

Hide.

All the feelings come rushing in, as powerful as ever.

What have I done?

Hide.

A hand stops my movement, and I whirl around.

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.” Serena looks at me, a gentle warmth in her eyes. “You’re Lil, right?”

I stare at her, not being able to say a single word.

“Here.” She hands me a napkin.

I take it, dabbing my eyes. “Thanks.”

“Men can be such idiots, can’t they?” She chuckles.

“You have no idea.”

“Look, I know we don’t know each other, but…” She hesitates, as if choosing her words carefully. “Sebastian cares about you. A lot.”

I scoff. “He doesn’t.”

“He’s… complicated.”

“Understatement.”

“All I’m saying is, don’t write him off yet. He might surprise you.”

I search her face. What’s her angle? Why is she defending him? Aren’t they together?

“And to be sure, because I don’t want to get between you two. Ha. He’d kill me if he knew I was talking to you.” She shakes her head. “Sebastian and I… it’s not what you think.”

“You kissed.”

“Yes, that was me.” She rubs her neck. “Let’s say I wanted to make someone jealous, and I knew what he was trying to do. So, I thought I would do us both a favor. I’m sorry. He really didn’t want to.”

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