Page 19 of Closer

Since college, my dreams have become more vivid, detailed, and horrifying, and they replay countless times in my mind. I’m lucky if I get a few hours of sleep at night anymore.

Her gaze lingers a beat too long on me. “So, how are you settling in?”

I shrug. “Good. There are still some boxes left to unpack, but I’m getting there. We’ve been talking about it for years, so it’s nice to finally make it happen.”

“I bet. Must be fun, living with your best friends.”

“Yeah, it’s been great so far. Movie nights, cooking together, brunching. Though I’m not sure, our neighbors appreciate our impromptu karaoke sessions.”

“Hey, as long as you’re not belting out tunes at 3 AM, I think you’re good.”

“No promises.”

“Well, that’s good to hear,” she says. “It’s not easy starting over in a new place.”

“Yeah.” She has no idea how true that is. Starting over, leaving behind everything I’ve ever known…

But I’m here now. I’m building a new life, one that’s mine and mine alone. And this part-time job is a part of it.

“Lil, you know you can talk to me, right? If something’s bothering you.”

“I know. Thanks.” I push back from the desk. “I appreciate it.”

“Alright. Take it slow today.” She gives my shoulder a final pat before making a beeline for the front desk.

I grab my cart, stacked with books. Once I’m safely out of sight, I slump against a shelf, letting out a shuddering breath.

The screams, the blood, the overwhelming sense of helplessness.

I shake my head and continue sorting the books. It’s mindless work, but there’s a certain peace in it. A far cry from the suffocating atmosphere at Uncle Marc’s company.

After everything that went down with the wedding, I needed a fresh start.

Here, among the stacks, I can breathe. I don’t have to put on a mask or pretend to be someone I’m not. I can just… be.

My fingers brush over the spine of the next book, tracing the embossed titles.

Pride and Prejudice.

A wry laugh bubbles up my throat. The irony.

How many times have I lost myself in these pages, dreaming of grand ballrooms and brooding gentlemen?

Too many to count. But right now, the thought of diving into that world, of pretending to be someone else, even for a little while… it’s damn tempting.

One true love. Real life isn’t like that. Love is messy and complicated. It twists you up inside until you don’t know which way is up.

Jason isn’t good enough for you.

As if he has any right to pass judgment. He made his choice years ago when he walked away. And yet...

I can’t stop thinking about that night months ago. The way his hands left tingles on my skin, the hunger in his eyes.

The gala is a day away. And he’ll be there, in all his arrogant glory. How am I supposed to face him after what happened? After I let him touch me, taste me, claim me all over again?

My cheeks burn at the memory, desire warring with shame. Because when it comes to Sebastian Barron, I’m weak. And I hate myself for it.

No. I won’t let him hurt me again. I have to be stronger than that.

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