Page 160 of Closer

Or will she see me for the monster I am?

The man who killed her father.

The man who destroyed her life.

A nurse comes, addressing us. “You can see her now if you like.”

I’m ready to follow her, but Landon steps in front of me. “I don’t think so.”

I grit my teeth. “Get out of my way.”

“You’re not going near her.” Landon’s voice carries a menacing undertone. “Not now, not ever.”

“Landon.” Levi puts a hand on his brother’s shoulder. “Let him see her.”

“Fuck that. You’ve always had a soft spot for this fucker.” Landon shrugs him off. “He’s the reason she’s here.”

“Landon!” my mother says.

“I know.” My voice cracks. “I know it’s my fault. But I need to see her. I need to know she’s okay.”

Landon’s eyes narrow. “She’s not okay. She’s in a fucking hospital bed because of you.”

“I’m sorry.” The words are inadequate, but they’re all I have.

“Sorry doesn’t change anything,” Landon says. “Sorry, doesn’t undo what you did.”

I watch Landon follow the nurse down the hallway, his shoulders tense. Levi walks by me, pausing to meet my gaze. “I’m sorry, man.”

Sorry for his brother’s words or for refusing to let me see Lil? I don’t ask. I nod.

My mother gives me a quick hug. “I’ll talk to them. For now, don’t cause any trouble, okay?”

“I won’t.”

She gives my shoulder a squeeze before following Lil’s brothers, leaving me alone with my father.

I sit down. “This is so fucked up.”

“I know.” My father’s voice is uncharacteristically soft. “But she’s going to be okay.”

“You don’t know that.” I scowl at him, my eyes burning. “You didn’t see her. She was so pale. So still.”

“I shouldn’t have said what I did. Not like that.”

“No shit.” I ease back, my eyes tracing the lines of the ceiling. “She’s never going to forgive me.”

“She will.” He sounds so certain, but how can he be? “She loves you.”

I sneer. “She won’t when she finds out the truth.”

“The truth is that you saved her life and almost lost yours in the process.”

“I’d do it all over again,” I say, my voice rough. “I couldn’t just stand there and watch her get hurt.”

My father’s eyes flash with anger. “Goddammit, Sebastian! Do you not care about your own life? A child shouldn’t have experienced this!”

“You think I don’t know that? You think I don’t live with the guilt every fucking day?”

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