Page 9 of Renegade

Review/rating by Nightcrawler: <2 Stars

Synopsis:

This timeless tome, set in feudal China, tells the story of a young, gay scullery lad, whose entire youth is spent on his hands and knees.

My Review:

If you’re into gay erotica, this book sounds promising…right? There, you’d be wrong, my friends. If you’ve followed my blog, you know by now, I’m up for a gay romance at every turn so you, dear readers, wouldn’t be surprised that any book with a title of The Art of Floor would appeal to me. Especially when the author of such writings, promises to deliver a steamy man-on-man romance which will curl my toes. This book, however, fails that test to the hundredth power since I apparently totally misinterpreted what that “art” was. As a result, my toes remain as straight as can be…no doubt the only thing straight about me.

Instead of being the always-riveting story of a teenaged sex slave, forced onto his hands and knees, theyouth in this book grows up scrubbing…you guessed it…floors.

And here I was, prepared to enjoy other fun things which could be done with a teen after he’d grown to manhood on calloused knees. I know…I freely admit to feeling more than a bit let down, much as you no doubt do, if you’ve read this review to this point. I live vicariously through my book boyfriends as you well know. But as sometimes happens, in this case, it wasn’t to be. Now, I must insert here—because sadly, no other inserts are forthcoming in this book—that there is no sex on these pages, gay or otherwise.

I was hoping—futilely, I admit—that there would be some gay erotic romance once the boy had grown to his majority since after all, it was listed on the M/M erotic bookshelves. Unfortunately, unless you’re into Mop & Glo without the mop or the glow, you’d be as disappointed as I. Alas, this book was as dry as they come and in the case of a mis-shelved gay sex book, was absent even the least bit of lubrication…unless you count dirty wash water.

Instead, the entire premise of this book was how the master of the castle has purchased this young lad and put him on his knees wearing only a soiled loincloth, forcing him to scrub floors. Maybe I’m not giving The Art of Floor the recommendation it deserves but I’ve always liked books with an actual plot. How Yun Mae could fill four hundred and fifty pages with paver polishing, I still haven’t worked out, but he’s done it. So, bear with me as I “wax” metaphorical as I will admit here that I might have missed the whole point of the book. Once again, I find myself quoting Sigmund Freud…

“Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.”

I found myself smiling as I recalled the review just as Raven glanced over. He smiled back. “What’s on your mind? You look happier.”

I reached across the console and took his hand in mine, leaning over to bring it to my lips and giving it a kiss. I sat back and smiled. “It’s nothing. I was just remembering the review you posted this morning.”

“The Art of Floor? Yeah, that was a real barn burner.”

“Four hundred and fifty pages of floor polishing?” I laughed, shaking my head. “I just can’t believe some of these authors. Where do they come up with these plots?”

“I think the plot ofthatbook was that there was no plot,” he said.

I grunted in agreement. “How do you get through them? I mean, if a book was that plotless, I’d fall asleep halfway through.”

He sighed, squeezing my hand. “Trust me when I tell you there have been many nights when I’ve fallen asleep reading them. I think The Art of Floor was one of the worst.”

“So, how do you keep on reading?”

“The answer to that is simple enough. It was listed as a gay romance.Duh.”

I laughed. “You kept waiting for the master to rip off the loincloth and do some real damage to that ass.”

Raven grinned, keeping his eyes on the road ahead as he transitioned onto the 5 Freeway, not far from home. “I was so tempted to send the author some of my favorite porn after that review just so I could prove to him that his book was the furthest thing from a M/M erotic romance as there ever was.”

I grinned at him. “So, you’d categorize the porn you watch as romance,huh?”

He grinned, staring straight ahead. “Some of it’s romance. The one we watched on Saturday wasdefinitelyromance.”

“The one with twelve guys in the locker room trying out various positions for cream pies?”

Raven nodded. “Yeah, that was sooo romantic,” he singsonged.

“And this is why I love you, Sunshine.”

He looked over at me and smiled fondly. “And I kinda love you just a little bit too, Miguel.” He paused for a few seconds before turning his eyes back to the road and smiling sweetly. “Now you wanna watch it again, don’t you?”

I chuckled, squeezing his hand as I relaxed back in the seat and closed my eyes. I didn’t even realize I’d fallen asleep until he stopped the truck in front of the house.

Chapter Three

RAVEN

---