Page 38 of Renegade

I was glad he didn’t want to rehash everything Mark and I had talked about at his house. I was honestly tired of the subject and was pretty sure Raven was going to appreciate the plans I had to help him forget about strangers with guns, stolen jewels, and all the shit which may or may not have happened in Afghanistan all those years ago. I silently cursed John for coming back into my life at all and then felt guilty about my feelings.

I couldn’t help rehashing it in my own mind, though. I still found it far-fetched to think that they could have somehow gotten to John in the midst of a sandstorm, stealing him rightout from under our noses. It was more likely they’d followed us out there intending on killing all of us. Obviously, they had no morals at all if they really were responsible for killing the forward scouts. Was it really possible that they could have used the cover of the sandstorm in order to steal the one they really wanted? Did John see something out there? That scenario made a lot more sense but if it’d happened, why hadn’t he told any of us. John and I were so close. I shook my head, trying to clear errant thoughts which kept crowding my mind.

“What?” Raven said, lowering his soup spoon, frowning a little.

I sighed. “It’s nothing. I just can’t keep my mind off John and what could have happened when he suddenly disappeared. And of course, all the stuff that happened today.”

Raven nodded, picking up his second sandwich to begin working on it. I sat silently watching him as I finished my own food. When we were both done, sated and full, we carried our dishes to the sink and stood side by side, falling into a silent dance as he washed, and I dried. After I’d placed the last of the dishes in the cupboard, I filled Stanley’s food and water bowls, dodging him as he came charging into the kitchen to eat. Raven laughed as he nearly tripped over the kitten who was almost the size of a fully grown cat by now. He was only seven and a half months old, but he was long and lean with a swishing, striped tail. He was going to be a big boy.

I took Raven’s hand and led him back through the house to our bedroom, passing Angelica’s closed door where we could hear soft snores. I really hoped she would recover and rejuvenate when we took her to Arizona as Raven wanted to do when this case was all over. Our room smelled of green tea and lemongrass, the scents I most associated with my man since his shampoo and bodywash smelled the same.

“I really need a shower,” he said.

“As luck would have it, so do I.”

He turned to look at me with those beautiful navy-blue eyes. They twinkled with interest when I waggled my brows suggestively. “I did tell you I have a review to write, correct? But I need a shower first.”

I sighed, determined not to let anything get between us tonight. I reached out and drew him up against my body. He’d already stripped halfway out of his shirt, undoing several buttons, so his skin burned against me. “You smell just fine to me,” I said, lowering my face to his neck where I could take a deep sniff as I planted my lips there and began kissing across his jaw.

“Miguel, I’m serious.” He wiggled free and I let him go. “Shower first, review after…then sex.”

I sank down on the edge of the bed and watched him closely. “Are we an old married couple?” I had to admit, I was slightly upset by the brush off.

He looked up at me from where he was bending to remove his moccasins. We both wore soft suede leather shoes in the house so there was no chance of scratching the hardwood floors. The look in his eyes was unreadable but there must have been something in my expression which affected him because the smile he’d been wearing suddenly vanished. He immediately straightened and came over to me, reaching out to cup my cheeks as he sank to his knees. I stared down at him, wondering if there was something that had happened today to make me lose my appeal. He’d never refused my advances before and the very thought that I’d done or said something that made him dislike me, made me slightly sick. Maybe finding out that I’dbeen a different man while in the military had turned him off. I swallowed as I looked at him.

“Is it…I mean, did I do something, Raven?” I swallowed. “I want you to know…I’m notthatman anymore.”

He cocked his head, frowning at me. “Whatman, Miguel?” He sounded so sad, and I knew I was the cause of it. Ever since I’d come into Raven’s life, I’d been nothing but trouble for him. He’d said it himself to Mark Evans today. I’d woken him many times, screaming from nightmares. Then again, I’d never met a man who didn’t suffer the aftereffects of what they’d witnessed in war. Maybe my nightmares had finally become too much for Raven to handle. Maybe his refusal was his way of telling me that things would be different now that he was being literally hunted by a man who’d almost shot him today. Or he thought I was as ruthless and evil as that man was.

I turned away, fixing my gaze on the floor as I reached up to run a hand through my hair, unable to look into his eyes as shame washed over me. I shrugged my shoulders. “I…did things over there.” I flicked him a look and his eyes widened making me rush to correct myself. “Never murder or anything close to it. I didn’t kill civilians although sometimes, I admit, they got caught in the crossfire. But it was never intentional. I can’t lie to you about it—” I looked back at him. “But I swear, Raven, I’ve never hurt anyone just for the sake of hurting them. I’m so not that kind of man.”

He made a distressed sound, reaching out to cup my face in both warm hands. I tried to pull away, but he held me fast, turning my face to look directly into my eyes. “Is that what you think? That I don’t want you anymore because I’ve learned a few things about your military service?” I didn’t say anything as he continued. “Miguel, I’m only going to say this once. I will alwayswant you…no matter what. I love the man you are.” He reached down and put a hand over my thudding heart.

“I love this big, warm heart. You’re the kindest man I’ve ever met. When you took care of me after I was shot, youshowedme the man you are.” I stared at the sincerity in his eyes. He smiled a little. “If you were unkind, you wouldn’t be able to take care of a tiny, abandoned kitten the way you did. Stanley adores you. That’s not the mark of an unkind master. So, I don’t care about what happened.” He leaned in to kiss me softly before sitting back on his heels as he went back to unbuttoning his shirt. “Whatever it was, I know you did it because you were fighting a war.”

I nodded, feeling choked up. I don’t know why I felt like pressing the matter but I didn’t want anything to stand between us anymore. I felt like the conversation was long overdue. “I’m a Marine, Raven. I served my country with honor, but there were things—”

Raven shook his head. “I don’t care.” He waved a hand at me. “Now, get out of those clothes so we can shower together.”

“All right, fine.” I smiled as I started unbuttoning my shirt. The relief I felt was overwhelming. I adored this man and his unconditional love for me. I stripped off the last of my clothes, leaving them on the bed, and followed Raven into the bathroom. Dragging my eyes away from his ass long enough to glance in the mirror over the bathroom counter, I looked wrecked. I wondered when I’d started feeling like shit, because I’d actually woken up in a pretty good mood. Determined to shake off my broody mood, I stepped into the shower with Raven and let the heated water slide over my body. It felt so good as my muscles began to relax. When Raven picked up the bodywash and began sliding his hands over my body, I closed my eyes, leaning withmy back against the wall as he worked his way over my chest and then moved lower.

The moment Raven’s fist slid over my cock, I was lost. I let my head thunk back against the tile and I began to harden as he slowly started stroking me. He moved closer, so close I could feel the heat coming off his body. When he dropped a kiss on my lips, I slid my arms around him. He let go of my dick and twined his arms around my neck, sliding his fingers into the short hair at the nape, rocking his groin against mine. He was also hard. It felt so good to be this close, without a stitch of clothing between us. The bodywash acted as perfect lubrication between us as we kissed, water sluicing over our bodies.

There was nothing rushed about being together like this. I loved taking the kissing slow and easy. I knew Raven loved the building heat just as much as he loved it when I fucked him hard against a wall, half dressed with his pants around his ankles. But this was something entirely different. We were sharing something that needed no words.

When Raven finally broke the kiss and stepped back, I opened my eyes, immediately regretting the loss of heat from his lips. When he slowly licked over his lips and smiled, I knew he felt the same way. He kept eye contact as he slid both hands down my chest and went to his knees. I sucked in a breath as he reached for my cock and slid his mouth over the fat head. Groaning, I let both hands fall to his head as he sucked me inside his hot mouth. I loved this. Having him suck me off while I held onto his head was my favorite thing. He seemed to love how aggressively I thrust my cock deeper into his mouth. He took it greedily, sucking it just the way I liked.

He reached for my balls and let my hard dick slide out of his mouth as he bent his head and sucked on one nut. He kept eye contact as he swallowed around it, applying just enoughpressure between his tongue and the roof of his mouth to make me groan in pleasure.

“That’s it, Sunshine…just like that,” I gasped. “You know just how to suck me.” I tugged on his hair, loving the way its soft texture slid through my fingers, making it hard to hold onto. He was so beautiful, and I thanked God that I’d found a man who loved going down on me. He moved on to the other ball, kneading it with his mouth, drooling around my sac as the water from the showerhead poured down our bodies. By the time he moved back to my dick and slurped it into his mouth, I was close to coming. “Raven,” I gasped. “Keep that up and you’re gonna get a mouthful of come.”

He smiled around my cock, looking up at me through wet lashes, and sucked even harder. I pulled on his short hair as I felt the first tingles of my climax begin in the small of my back.

“Oh, Christ, Raven!” When my orgasm hit all at once and I shot into his mouth, he swallowed around my dick, closing his eyes as if he was savoring every drop. It took long seconds as he swallowed each thick spurt of me emptying my balls into his mouth. Shivers ran up and down my spine and I blew out a long breath, finally relaxing my fingers and releasing his hair. He pulled off my cock with a pop and reached up to wipe away water and any remnants of my spunk that had escaped his lips. I leaned back on the wall again and he got to his feet, immediately moving in close for a kiss. I opened my mouth and tasted my come on his tongue as he kissed me deeply, moaning into my mouth.

“Come on, baby,” he said, shutting off the taps. “I’m not finished with you. Let’s take this to the bed.”

My entire body was relaxed as we stepped out of the shower and dried off with fluffy, white towels. In the bedroom, weimmediately headed for the bed. Raven was still hard, and I loved the way his beautiful cock was dark and ruddy, bobbing like an invitation as he moved into the center of the bed. He spread his legs and grabbed the base of his thick shaft, giving it several strokes.

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