Page 12 of Renegade

He smiled. “Of course, Sunshine. I’ll do anything for you.” He cleared his throat, swallowing. “Now, let’s go tell Dolly to take her some soup, okay?”

I nodded, “Yes.”

“Then I’ll show you what I want to show you.”

I smiled at him, loving him even more than I had just a few minutes ago. “Okay, Miguel.”

MIGUEL

Raven and I wished Dolly goodbye at the front door, sending her home with a healthy portion of the soup she’d made for us. I popped some garlic toast into the oven and sat down at the kitchen table with a glass of iced tea while Raven went back to Nana’s room to keep watch over her while she ate. I thought back to the unbelievable encounter with John as I stood, deciding to swap out clean dishes from the dishwasher with the few Dolly had generated while cooking. I was restless.

I still couldn’t believe it was him, but I’d seen the recognition in his eyes. Just like he’d known me, I’d also known him. Even if it had been over a decade since we’d lost him. We’dalllost him and for some unknown reason, he’d kept the fact that he was still alive from all of us. How on earth had he survived the sandstorm and where had he gone afterward? Could he have made it out of the remote deserts of Afghanistan alone? There were villages dotted around but to our knowledge, they’d all been Taliban controlled. Even if he’d been able to make it to one and could find villagers willing to help him get back to us, the repercussions to them would have been severe and instant the second they were found out.

I dried my hands and sat down again, pulling out my phone and scrolled, going down the list of guys in my unit and doing a mental checklist of those I knew were still deployed. Cliff Mayhew and Alex Grant were deployed overseas—where, I had no idea—Vonne Jackson, my best friend and buddy at the V.A., and me were still in California. Pete—Peety Morrison—ourcompany cut up always with a smile and stupid joke, had retired to some dinky-assed little farm in Iowa.

I grinned as I thought of Morrison…that pasty-white, tall drink of water. Even in the desert, that motherfucker could always be found chewing on a goddamned piece of straw. When I’d asked him where he got them, he simply told me he carried them around in his ass since they made him feel close to home even when shit was happening all around him. He always made us laugh…like it was his goddamned job to keep us all smiling. After Vonne, he’d been the closest man to me, not counting John Sutter. Though I dreamed of keeping him close, skin to skin, we’d never made it that far. A few stolen kisses, mutual hand jobs, promises of things to come, expressions of love and more, and then…he’d been lost to us.

John had been our team leader and after he’d finally been taken off the MIA lists and declared killed in action, I hadn’t believed it. None of us had. But the Corps said it was true, so we had no recourse but to follow orders and abandon our search for him…at least to our new commander and the others in charge. We rationalized it any way we could. We figured what they didn’t know couldn’t hurt them. We’dhadto find John…at the very least, find his body so that he could be brought home.

Some of the other Marine’s on base made sure our midnight expeditions out to the site of John’s disappearance weren’t exposed to the higher ups. They all knew better. Theyallsympathized with us. We all knewno onecould stay gone without a trace or hidden by friendlies…not even a tough son-of-a-bitch like John. So, we’d secretly gone back time and time again to search before finally being ordered to withdraw from the country entirely on August 30, 2021. That’s where our search had finally ended. It still didn’t sit good with me.

Recon had a creed:

Realizing it is my choice and my choice alone to be a Reconnaissance Marine, I accept all challenges involved with this profession. Forever shall I strive to maintain the tremendous reputation of those who went before me.

If finding John meant abandoning our reputations, we’d all rationalized…then it would.

Exceeding beyond the limitations set down by others shall be my goal, sacrificing personal comforts and dedicating myself to the completion of the Reconnaissance mission shall be my life. Physical fitness, mental attitude, and high ethics – the title of Recon Marine is my honor.

We’d lived by this part of the creed every night as we’d futilely searched for John. We were honorable and no matter the sacrifice we’d had to make, we’d do it to bring him home.

Conquering all obstacles, both large and small, I shall never quit. To quit, to surrender, to give up is to fail. To be a Reconnaissance Marine is to surpass failure: to overcome, to adapt and to do whatever it takes to complete the mission.

We’d all known our mission was incomplete. None of us wanted to admit failure.

On the battlefield, as in all areas of life, I shall stand tall above the competition. Through professional pride, integrity, and teamwork, I shall be the example for all Marines to emulate.

We’d hoped that finding John would be the example all other Marines would follow.

Never shall I forget the principles I accepted to become a Reconnaissance Marine. Honor, Perseverance, Spirit and Heart. A Recon Marine can speak without saying a word and achieve what others can only imagine.

I’d always thought there should be another line.

Simply:Always bring us home.

I looked up when Raven walked back into the kitchen. He smiled at me and then wrinkled his nose. “Is something burning?”

“Oh shit!” I jumped up from the table and ran over to the oven, opening it as the smell of half-burned garlic toast billowed out of it. I grabbed a potholder and took the pan out, looking morosely down at the blackened lumps of bread on the tray. Raven immediately walked over to the window and opened it as I dumped the ruined bread into the garbage and closed the oven. When the smoke alarm went off, I cursed under my breath and leaped onto a chair to pull it down from the ceiling to silence it as I turned to Raven.

“I’d better check to make sure Nana didn’t wake up. She may be blind, but her hearing is pretty damned good.”

“I’m sorry,” I said, feeling shitty as he walked back out of the kitchen.

Chapter Four

RAVEN

“This was delicious,” I said, setting my spoon down on the table next to my empty bowl. “Did you like your soup?”

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