Page 82 of Protecting Her Secrets

“That’s okay. I know you’re in a unique situation. Like I said, I don’t have much experience in prenatal care, but I don’t see why I couldn’t get you through the rest of the pregnancy. Running labs and doing ultrasounds is easy enough. If something comes up, you’d have to travel to an OB, but as long as everything stays within normal range, I’d be willing to take you on as a patient.”

“I’d love that. Thank you.”

“You’ll also have to find somewhere to deliver.” He positions the transducer over another area. “Do youwantto know the sex?”

“Yes. So much,” I say, looking up to a beaming Walker. He has formed a strong bond with the baby in such a short time. It’s more than I could have ever hoped for.

“See that little spot between the legs? That’s a penis.”

“We’re having a boy?” Walker asks in astonishment.

Tears spring to my eyes. “I can’t believe it.”

Walker kisses my temple, and if I’m not seeing things, his eyes are a little glossy too.

“Okay, let’s do this little guy’s first photoshoot, then we’ll get you out of here.”

An hour later, after being carried to the car from the clinic, I’m carried again into the house, where I’m delivered straight to the shower and washed from head to toe by Walker, minus my hair. Now, he has me in bed with every amenity possible. A tray next to me has some snacks and a glass of ice water, the remote is in my hand, there’s a stack of books he thought I might like to read within reach, and he somehow found a small bell for me to ring if I need anything else. I tried to tell him I could just text, but he wouldn’t listen.

The scent of freshly baked bread wafts through the air as I close my eyes, trying to absorb everything that has happened.Now that everything is calm and quiet, I have nothing to distract my mind from replaying the moment I looked up to see the barrel of a gun pointed right at me. I don’t remember anything after that, but that one image is enough to send shivers up my spine.

I wouldn’t say I was around violence growing up, but it was always there in the background—an unspoken threat the club sent out into the world whenever we were in public. People cowered and walked the other way, something Dad got off on. Not me, though. I wanted to be liked, not feared.

What happened today put me on the other side of things, and it was terrifying. I can’t believe Klutch is so mad, he wants me dead. Or can I? Pride is just as important as loyalty and honor in the club, and I wounded his pride. Not only that but ranking members from across the nation were there to witness it. My chest seizes, and my breaths come in short pants. I humiliated him in front of important people. What was I thinking?

I gasp, clutching my chest as my vision narrows. I might be able to delay the inevitable, but eventually, he’ll find me. How did I think this would end any other way? And I have a baby on the way. I was almost shot by the man who impregnated me or on his orders. What the fuck is my life?

Someone calls my name, but it’s muted and sounds so far away, I can barely hear. Warm hands cup my face, but I shake my head violently until they let go. My limbs tingle, and the pressure on my chest increases. It’s my fault Jazzy’s in surgery. She did nothing but be a friend, and what did I do? I got her shot.

Suddenly, I’m being moved up and then set back down on something hard. Strong arms wrap around me, and someone’s whispering in my ear. My racing thoughts slow so I can make out what’s being said—something about being strong and how much I’m loved. The tension in my body eases with the sweet words and the breath tickling my neck.

“Come back to me, sweetheart. It’s okay. I promise it’s okay. You’re not alone, and we will win this fight. It’s just a blip in the long, happy life we’ll have together,” Walker says against my neck. His beard scratches my skin, his arms hold me tight, and his words penetrate my racing thoughts. “There you go. Take some deep breaths.”

I feel his chest expand, and I inhale along with him, only letting it out when I feel him do the same. We do that over and over until I’m calm and back in my right mind.

“These panic attacks scare me. I feel so helpless seeing you like that,” he says.

I let my head fall back onto his shoulder as I sink into him. “I don’t like them either.”

“What brought it on?”

“Everything. I don’t want this to be my life. I can’t take it.”

“Yes, you can.” His words are strong, trying to convince me I am too, but I’m not. I’m weak. “Whether you believe this or not doesn’t stop it from being true. You’re a survivor. You’ve made it through hell and back. Now you have one more struggle to get through before it’s smooth sailing. Just you, me, the little boy you’re growing, and our little hobby farm.”

The picture he paints is perfect. I want it so badly. The problem is, this one last struggle is a big one, with life-threatening consequences should I make one misstep.

Walker kisses my neck. “I came up here to tell you some good news.”

“What?”

“Jazzy made it through surgery. The bullet chipped a bone. I can’t remember what it’s called—something with an I—and the fragments sliced into her liver and lung, but they’ll heal, and she’ll be okay.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. She’s coming out of anesthesia now. Wilder had to leave to come back and deal with the shooting, but her parents promised to keep us informed.”

“I’m so relieved.”

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