“Some things never change.” I point to the room on the left. “I haven’t done anything to that room yet, so I’m just storing shit in there.”
“Can I look?”
“Go for it.”
She opens the door and stops short. “A nursery?”
“That’s just what the previous owners used it for.” I scratch the back of my neck, feeling uncomfortable for reasons I don’t want to think about. I tell myself I haven’t painted over the mural of puppies at play on the far wall and the vibrant blue color on the other three because I hardly go in there, but the truth is, I think it’s cute and thought maybe someday, I’d have a kid to put in there. The problem is, I’ve long since given up on loving anyone except the woman in front of me. Since we didn’t work out and I’m not desperate enough to settle for someone I just like, it seems that’ll never happen.
“It’s sweet. Who knows? Maybe a baby Walker will want it like this someday.”
I bark out a laugh. “Yeah, not happening.”
“Why not? You’d make adorable babies.”
We’re walking a tight wire, and it feels like she’s baiting me. “Apparently, I’m in the process of a divorce. Not the time to bring a child into the world.”
Her smile dims but doesn’t disappear. “Are you trying to say you have no prospects?”
“I’m not dating anyone if that’s what you’re asking.”
“Oh.” She looks way too pleased at that information.
Deciding I should change the subject, I motion to the room at the other end of the hall. “That’s my room. I’ll find something warm for you to wear and let you shower.”
“Okay.” She follows me into the primary painted the same blue-gray as the library. Unlike the library, though, I had the dormers removed and added windows from the ceiling to the floor, following the angle of the roof. My king-sized bed sits opposite the windows for the perfect angle to star gaze, and instead of a headboard, I lined the whole wall with planks of wood from downed trees on my property.
There are two gold sconces above each of the nightstands, and my bedding is cream-colored with brown accents. Finally, adjacent to the bed is a fireplace because even with the heat rising from below, it gets chilly up here.
“Did you decorate on your own?” she asks.
“Not exactly. I found some pictures online and tried to copy them as closely as I could.”
“You did a really good job. And this view is incredible.” She folds her arms, standing in front of the window, where she can see the drop-off and more of the mountain range.
“I couldn’t not buy the place after seeing that.”
“I don’t blame you.”
In another world, I’d approach her from behind, wrap my arms around her, and admire the falling snow before I take her to our bed and make love to her, surrounded by the peace winter brings. My cock likes that idea, so before I play out that fantasy in my head and get a hard-on, I turn away to find her some clothes in my closet.
Once I’ve dug out my smallest sweatpants and an old T-shirt, I show her the bathroom, where she proceeds to lose her shit. In front of a dormer is a bathtub I almost didn’t bother installing. I’m not a bath person, so it felt like a waste, but my friendsinformed me that if I ever brought a girl home I didn’t want to leave, the tub would seal the deal for me.
They were wrong because the woman I don’t want to leave is here to break the last tie we share before walking away forever.
“Shower or bath?” I ask.
“Um, bath then shower? Is that okay? It feels weird to take over your house like this.”
“My house is your house.” I try to sound hospitable instead of desperate for her to take me up on that offer, and I hate myself for it. The backbone I had earlier has turned into a limp noodle.
“Okay. Then yes, a bath before a shower.”
“The shower is all electronic, so let me show you how it works.”
“Fancy.”
She moves in close, and a world of memories hits me the second I breathe her in. It’s not a lotion or perfume I smell; it’s something intrinsically her. Fuck, this is bad. I shouldn’t have brought her up here because now, my peaceful escape will feel empty when she leaves.