Page 155 of The Alpha King's Fate

“I know. And I’ll forever be grateful for that,” he sighed. “You’ll probably never know how much. When your mum left, my whole world ended. It was like she ripped something out of me, and I wanted to die every single day. I still do sometimes, even after all these years.”

Something clicked in her head, and she felt a wave of unwanted sympathy for the man who had been emotionally unavailable to her throughout her childhood. She looked away from her father and lifted a hand to her neck, where her mark should have been. She never understood what her father did, but what if he bonded with Rebecca? She could see the same future for herself after what happened. She could see how the pain in her heart from losing Jax could easily make her spiral.

The thought of it made her nauseous. She had harboured so many negative feelings about Rebecca and Gerald her whole life, but she was about to do the same to her child.

Her heart ached. She didn’t want to do that to Hope. She didn’t want to ruin her life.

“I know you don’t need me at this point in your life, but I’m going to be a better father,” Gerald continued. “I’ll let my actions do the talking.”

She blinked back some tears and looked at the breakfast again. Life was never black and white. It was full of grey areas, but the change of perspective wasn’t welcome because it meant she was justifying what her parents did to her just to be able to live with abandoning Hope.

“I’m going to check the damage outside,” she said as she put the blanket aside.

“I’ve already done it. You need to get back to bed and rest some more. You’re looking very pale,” Gerald said. “I don’t remember you ever being sick before. Is it something to do with...”

She stood without explaining. She’d learned long ago that she couldn’t trust a drunk with her secrets.

It took her longer than she wanted to shower and wash the grime off her body. How could taking a shower be so exhausting? She didn’t even have the energy to dry her hair. She left it wrapped in a towel before finding an old pair of boots and leaving her bedroom. Gerald had covered her food on the table and wasn’t in the living room.

She stepped out of the trailer and was shocked to discover she had slept most of the day away. It was already late afternoon, and the sky was clear as if it hadn’t just pissed down on them. She looked around the mess of the park she called home, where the neighbours were still sitting outside and gossiping even though the ground was flooded. Gerald was talking to some of them, and for the first time in forever, she didn’t see a can of beer in his hand.

How long would this round of sobriety last?

She sighed and stepped down. Her boots sunk into the water, and she immediately felt her socks get wet. They were her newest boots at the trailer but were still old, and new holes appeared in the soles every time she wore them.

But that was her life, at least until she got back on her feet. She would have to provide somewhere better and safer for Hope to be able to visit her.

She went around to the first window and started cranking the shutter back up. Unlike in the night, she managed to roll it at least halfway before it got stuck again. She turned it as much as she could, and it still didn’t budge.

She was too weak.

Too useless.

She was no good to anyone.

Was it even worth trying to figure out how she could keep Hope in her life when she would just be a burden?

A sob left her lips before she could stop it. Tears blurred her vision, but she didn’t wipe them away.

A large hand covers hers, shocking her out of her thoughts. She knew without looking who the hand belonged to. Like during the storm, her body tingled and reacted to him. She leaned back against the warmth of his body, allowing herself a moment to feel sorry for herself.

“Why are you doing this when you should be in bed?” Jax growled against her ear.

“I have to do it,” she answered.

She wiped the tears from her face and moved her hand so Jax could finish the job.

“You don’t have to do anything when you’re sick,” Jax snapped as he quickly secured the shutter. “Go inside and get into bed. I won’t take long.”

She stepped away from him and watched how his t-shirt stretched against his body as he moved. It was a habit. It had been two years of her being with him whenever she wanted. Every single night. Her body was trained to respond that way.

She looked away quickly when Jax looked at her, and his eyes flashed. Of course, he knew what was happening. He could probably smell it.

She looked away, her cheeks heating up, and was about to walk to the front door when she noticed the men standing around one of the pack trucks. Dylan pushed himself away from the hood he was leaning on, smiling as he stepped forward. Alpha Chase and Alpha Brax were with him.

“What are you guys doing here?” she asked.

Dylan pulled her into his arms and twirled her before he set her down. He was the only one who could get away with that. Or at least, he had been when she had a bond with Jax.

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