Page 51 of Gunner

“She’s not. I just put Jesse to bed,” I tell her. Now, my heart kicks up a notch. Clark is still out there. He still hasn’t been found.

“I’ll look around,” Kiki says before grabbing a few of the girls and taking off. I watch them walk through the main room and then break off in different directions as I run my hand through my hair.

“Did you ask Rick?” Locke asks. I shake my head. I haven’t seen him either tonight.

“No. Don’t know where he is either,” I tell him. Locke pulls his cell out and calls Rick. “He’s outside. He’s comin’.” I nod my head and watch as the back door opens and Rick walks in, but Nat isn’t with him.

“Where’s Natasa?”

“She isn’t here?” Rick asks. That’s it. That’s all I need to hear. I roar before shoving all the bottles off the bar and listening to them crash to the floor.

“I want everyone out lookin’ for her!”

“We don’t know she’s gone, Gunner.”

“She isn’t here, is she? No, the fuck she isn’t. Now find her!” The guys move quickly, knowing that this pisses me off. Where would she go? Why would she go? She knows what happened last time she snuck out on her own.

“I’ll watch Jesse,” Kiki offers as she walks back into the room. I nod and pull her into my arms for a quick hug before storming out the door. I’m on my bike in seconds, revving it up and taking off. I don’t care if anyone is following me or not. I don’t give a shit about anything right now but finding her.

I drive around everywhere I can think of before heading to her and Rick’s spot. The same fucking spot she was taken last time. That’s where I kill the engine and climb off my bike, walking down the back alley. My eyes catch on her curled into a ball lying on her blanket.

“What the fuck were you thinkin’?” I scream. She doesn’t move, but I know she hears me. She shifts slightly sniffles, and that’s all I get from her. I stomp closer and kneel next to her, brushing her hair away from her face. That’s when those swollen red eyes look up at me.

“What are you doin’, baby girl? What the hell is this?”

“I can’t function, Gunner. I’m not cut out for this shit. I can’t be Jesse’s mom. I can’t be what you need,” she cries harder. I sighand pull my gloves off before moving behind her and lying down with her. I pull her into my arms and hold her while she cries.

“I want to be mad at you for runnin’ off, but I get it, Nat. This is hard for you, but the medicine will help. It just takes time,” I whisper in her ear.

“What do I do till then? Huh? Just stay away from you and him? Do you know how hard that is for me, too? I know I’m doing everything wrong, and I can’t stop it, Gunner. I just can’t.” More tears break my heart even more. I hate this. I hate that she feels like this is her only option.

“You’re not alone, baby girl. I’m here. I’m not goin’ anywhere. I told you that. Whatever you need, I got you.”

“I don’t know what I need. I don’t know what to do.”

“Come home, Natasa. Come home with me.”

“It’s not that easy, and you know it, Gunner.”

“And this is? Bein’ homeless again? Livin’ on the streets? No, Nat. That’s not you, not anymore. You have a place, a home. And that’s fuckin’ with me and Jesse and everyone else at the goddamn clubhouse. I get it. You’re goin’ through somethin’ I can’t relate to, but this is gonna stop.” I shove myself up off the ground and stand, holding out my hand to her. She can take it and come with me, or I can snatch her off the ground and force her. Either way, I’m not leaving her alone here. No way in hell.

“I’m not going. I need to be alone.”

“You’re not goin’? This isn’t a choice I’m givin’ you, Natasa. You’re comin’ home whether I have to carry your ass there and tie you to the goddamn bed. You’re not doin’ this to me, to our son, to yourself. This is it. I’m done playin’ nice,” I tell her rightbefore something slams into the back of my head. The world spins, Nat screams, and I fall to the ground.

“No! Gunner!” She cries. I press my hands to the hard concrete and shove myself up, shaking my head as I go. Then I turn around and see him through the haze.

“I always knew she’d come back here. She can’t help it, can she?”

“I’ll kill you.”

“You and who else?” he asks as two other men step out of the shadows. I’m outnumbered. I’m fucking outnumbered, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to give up that easily.

“Nat, get behind me, baby girl,” I tell her. She scrambles off the ground and clings to the back of my shirt as I watch the three of them in front of me. Clark smirks but doesn’t say a word when he motions for the others to move.

They come at me, and I shove Nat back against the building. She just had a baby two weeks ago. I can’t tell her to run, although that’s what I need her to do.

The first man swings, and I dodge it, but the second one lands. My head whips to the side before I swing back. We get into an all-out brawl when I finally hear one of the guys.

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