Page 54 of Worth Every Risk

“Fuck that.”

“Watch your language.”

A muscle pops in his jaw like he’s clenching his teeth, and his nostrils lightly flare. “I really hope that new nanny is nice, because I’d prefer to spend time with her than with you. Looks like Lucie would too.”

The dig knocks the breath from my lungs. He spins and marches towards his boarding house. I’m not having that. I chase after him, grab his shoulder, and force him to face me.

“Don’t you dare walk away from me.” His eyes are full of rage that makes heat burst in my chest, my own anger simmering right beneath the surface. My voice is strained with the effort of holding it in. “The weed.”

Charlie scowls. “What?”

“The weed in your sock drawer. Was it yours?”

“Would you believe me if I said no?”

There’s a right answer here, but my mind is too befuddled to work it out. Too flooded with thoughts, concerns, and amidst them all, like the sinister slither of a python, a writhing coil of panic.

Your son is a wreck.

Charlie is a blur before me as my focus shifts inward.Would I believe him? Wouldn’t I have sought out something to help when I was his age? Didn’t I do exactly that?Smoking joints on the back roof with Nico, the asphalt scratching the back of our bare legs, the soles of our feet, while Dad fucked the housekeeper. The babysitter. The nanny. And Mum sat inside, drinking vodka and staring into the mid-distance like nothing fucking mattered anymore.

“I knew it,” Charlie says, his voice a cold snap before he turns and paces away from me.

This time, I don’t try and stop him.

15

ARIES

Ibuckle Lucie into the back of the car, which is challenging because my hands are shaking. It takes me three tries before the belt clicks in.I can’t believe what’s happened.

I try to ground myself, not wanting to add my emotional panic to Lucie’s upset. I’ve taken her wet clothes off and wrapped her in the picnic rug. She’s no longer shivering, but I’m wondering if we ought to be taking her to get checked out by a doctor.

“Do you need help?” Kate says. I have no idea when she appeared, but she’s here now, peering inside the car, and I’m grateful, even though I can’t focus on her. “What can I do?”

If only my hands would stop shaking, I could think more clearly. I’m shivering too, my teeth chattering. I kiss Lucie’s forehead and slip out of the car to talk to Kate.

She looks me up and down, brows drawn tightly together. “You’re freezing. Take my jacket. Please.” She strips it off and holds it out to me.

“I’ll ruin it,” I argue, glancing at my wet, muddy skin and then back at the pristine yellow suit jacket.

“I don’t care about that. Please.” She shakes it. “Just take it. You don’t need to give it back to me.”

“You’re so kind,” I tell her, taking the jacket. Inside the collar is a label.Catherine Walker.The same designer as Gemma’s suit. The one she wouldn’t let Lucie touch. “Are you sure?”

“Absolutely.” Kate’s phone rings and she gives me an apologetic grimace before she answers it. “I know the speeches are starting,” she says to whoever is calling. “I’m coming. Save me a seat. I’m just making sure Lucie and Aries are in the car. Okay. I’ll be with you in a minute.”

She hangs up. “I’ve got to go. You’ll be all right?”

“I will. Thank you.”

Kate pokes her head into the car to speak to Lucie. “You okay, honey? Have a nice hot bath when you get home. You were so brave.”

Lucie smiles, then pulls the blanket up over her mouth.

Extricating herself from the car, Kate gives me a final nod and strides back towards the main school building.

I suddenly feel very lost. Out of my depth. And I’m still shivering, in spite of Kate’s designer jacket.

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