Page 94 of Worth Every Risk

“You don’t know what this is,” I fire back. “And you just made her feel like shit. She’s a human being, Seb.”

He stills, scanning my face. When he’s found whatever he’s searching for, he breaks into an enormous smile and thumps hispalm against the white tablecloth, making the orange juice slop around in the glass jug. “You really like her. It’s not just sex, is it?”

Something in my chest locks down. “We are not fucking talking about this.”

“No, we aren’t,” Nico says, like his is the final word on the matter. He turns to me. “But you need to think about it. Because this has repercussions for a lot of people, not least your kids. And you”—Nico turns on Seb—“need to go and apologise to that woman in there.”

“Aries. Her fucking name is Aries,” I say, swallowing my orange juice in one gulp.

Seb rises from the table, nodding his head at both of us, his expression far more solemn than I’m used to seeing, and goes back inside to find Aries.

I can’t sit down, not right now. Not riled up this way. I want to fucking hit something, I’m so mad. This is my business, mylife, not some topic of discussion or source of amusement for everyone else.Fuck’s sake.

I pace along the deck, staring out into the calm blue of the Mediterranean Sea, spending a few minutes clinging to the rail, letting frustration pound through me.I should never have told my brothers about Aries. Why the fuck did I mention it at all?

I don’t know what this is with her, what I’m doing, what this could be, and now they’re all waiting for me to make some kind of declaration. To admit that this is more than a fling.Is it?I don’t fucking know. I don’t do this… I don’t have affairs; I don’t mess around.Fuck. I can’t feel my way through it anymore, because of damn Seb and his niggling. How can he be both so fucking childish and so uncannily perceptive at the same time?

I need some space to work this shit out, but how can I get that on a boat with all my family?

When I head back towards the dining deck, feeling no better for my self-imposed time-out, Aries is sitting next to Lucie, with Kate on her other side. Nico and Seb are reading the broadsheets, discussing some business story. There’s no sign of Charlie.

“Where’s Charlie?” I ask, directing the question to Aries. There’s a hint of anger in my voice, and I don’t know why I’m throwing it at her. I can’t talk to her the way I want to, because of the pressure of all these fucking eyes on us, knowing things they shouldn’t know that I’m trying to hide from my kids. Judging me. Judging Aries. Like my life is some spectacle they can look at from the safety of their own happy lives. It’s a fucking mess and the frustration of it fills my chest like I’m being pumped full of hydrogen on the cusp of exploding.

Seb and Nico are watching me over the top of their newspapers. Seb throws a wary glance at Nico then dips his eyes back to the paper.They think I’m going to lose it.

“He’s in his room,” Aries replies. “He’s getting changed.”

“I told you to prioritise him. Make sure he was at breakfast on time. We’re leaving soon.” The anger is louder now, bigger.Fuck. I don’t know where it’s coming from, but it’s been there since I sat down to breakfast, and walking along the deck just now did nothing to alleviate it.I don’t have it under control.

I can’t see Seb behind his suspiciously erect newspaper, but I feel his attention so strongly his gaze might as well be burning two peepholes through the small print.

Nico lowers his paper, unashamedly staring like he’s trying to warn me off. Talk me down with only his eyes.Damn condescending prick.

Fuck. This pressure is unbearable…

Aries stands up. “I need to talk to you about something.”

“Not now.”They’re all watching me. “Go and get Charlie.”

Aries sets her chin. “It’s important.”

“No.” Aries pulls back, but I can’t stop. All the anger rushes up in a torrent of fire through my torso. “Go. And. Get. Charlie. Like I damn well asked you to. How fucking hard is it to follow a simple instruction?”

Kate inhales sharply, straightens her sunglass and stares at the table. Seb shrinks down behind his newspaper. Nico folds his up and lays it flat on the table. I feel his glare most harshly of all. His unspokenI told you sobooms so loud in my head that he might as well have screamed it.

Nico nods subtly, from me to Aries, in a silent bid for an apology.

I don’t fucking need Nico to tell me what to do. I know I should apologise. I want to, but the words are stuck, lodged in my throat. I can’t do it, not here, not in front of everyone, their gazes on me like I’m some specimen in a zoo.What’s he going to do next?What’s the creature going to do to fix this fuck up?

And Aries… shedidignore my instruction. Again. Maybe Nico’s right. This is stupid. This blurring of lines… ofroles. I’ve fucked up and I’m losing control of this situation.

Lucie sobs, and it’s only now I realise she was at the table at all. I’d forgotten. She’s cowering in her seat, and Kate puts an arm around her and pulls her into a hug.

The bitterness in Aries’ gaze is a tonic that strips my skin. If we were alone, I know she’d dress me down for the way I’ve just spoken to her, but she says nothing. She excuses herself from the table, throwing her napkin down in a heap over her half-eaten food.

I watch her storm back downstairs to fetch Charlie, her red hair swinging down her back.

Nico stands, fixing that infuriating older brother glare on me. “And you wonder why you have such a high staff turnover.”

---