Page 89 of Worth Every Risk

It’s strange, knowing that someone’s full attention is occupied by you, even when they aren’t looking. That’s how I feel right now, and every one of my movements becomes laden and thick, my limbs heavy.How the hell am I going to survive ten days out here, when one glance is burning me up and I get no release?

I glance back up, only now it’s Nico and Seb staring down at the pool, not Matt. Seb smiles, and gives me a little salute.

“Look, Lucie, your uncles and daddy are up there,” I say, pointing. I turn her in the water so she can see, and she looks upand waves. All three of them return the gesture, and Lucie goes back to kicking her feet in the water while I hold her under the arms.

Charlie stays on the lounger. He changed into trunks and a rash vest with full sleeves. It’ll protect him from the sun, but he must be boiling in it.

He doesn’t get in the water. He's too busy focusing on his Kindle. God knows what he’s reading, but it’s obviously preferable to socialising with me or his little sister. Or anyone else, for that matter.

“Hi.” Kate is standing at the side of the pool, shielding her eyes with her hand, despite the fact she’s also wearing an enormous floppy-brimmed hat. “Can I join you?”

“Of course,” I say, wondering why she’s even asking.

“Auntie Kit-Kat,” Lucy squeals, splashing excitedly in her attempt to swim over to Kate.

“Not quite an auntie yet,” Kate replies. “But if you want to speak to your uncle Nico about making me one…” She breaks off her conspiratorial whisper and laughs, winking at me, and in turn I break into a smile too, aware that I feel a warm kinship with her. While the sensation is flowing through me, I get the oddest flash of a life where she has Nico and I have Matt, and we’re equals…friends, even. It’s so vivid, so intense, that I frown and blink.

“Is it the sun?” she asks, querying my facial expression, although her tone suggests she suspects it’s not the sun at all. What she thinks it might be, I have no idea. “It’s bright. Did you bring sunglasses? I can lend you some if not.”

“No, I’m fine. Thank you,” I reply, indicating where I’ve left mine on the nearby lounger.

“Oh,” Kate muses, and I can tell she’s wondering what she missed. “If there is anything you’ve forgotten to bring, ask me. Nico made me pack more than I could ever wear on one holiday.”

I thank her for the kind offer, but I know I’ll never take her up on it. It feels like a transgression of boundaries I can’t make. Kate on one side, and me the other, and no amount of kindness or generosity will bring us closer together, although I’m grateful for the effort.

25

ARIES

By the end of the first day, I’m half-roasted and my pale skin is burnt. Apparently even factor 50 isn’t enough to protect me, and added to the fact I lost track of time playing with Lucie and Kate in the pool, my shoulders are an unhealthy shade of red. I’ve slathered myself in aloe vera.

I’m not sure how it will work out as the week goes on, but today I ate early with Lucie. The rest of the family, including Charlie, are having a later dinner.

It’s awkward, but I have to remember I’m not a guest on this boat; I’m a member of staff. They’re kind to me, Matt’s brothers and Kate, but I’m not really with them. Matt might have fucked me senseless, but the line between family and staff is heavily marked, and everything about this holiday makes me feel it intensely.

I’m lying on my bed reading. Lucie’s asleep. A knock on the door breaks the silence. I sit up and check the time.Eleven thirty.

“Aries?”

My heart hitches at the harsh whisper of my name. It sounds like Matt, but it can’t be. I consciously try to tamp down my excitement. The crushing blow when I found Charlie outside earlier isn’t something I want to repeat.

I get up and open the door.

Matt stands on the threshold, large and handsome in his navy shorts and casual white linen shirt. He leans against the open frame, dominating the space, looking me over.

The tension hits me like a wall.

“Hi,” I say, my voice already breathless.

His gaze, so heavy and lust-filled it strokes like a fingertip, drops to my mouth before he drags his eyes back to mine. “I made a mistake.”

“Oh, yeah?”

“I can’t quit. I’m fucking addicted to you, and the withdrawal symptoms are killing me.”

My heart feels like it’s about to burst. I’ve never heard such wonderful words in my entire life. Matt rakes his teeth over his bottom lip, and all the blood in my body pulses to my pussy. He must know it because with one step he’s in my tiny room, his arms around me, shunting the door closed with his foot.

His kiss is desperate, and my own desperation rises to meet his, crashing against it with every harried brush of tongue against tongue, lip against lip.

---