Page 62 of Worth Every Risk

“No.”

“No, I can’t come or no, you’re not busy?” I sound like I’m panicking.

“I’m not busy and yes, you can come over.”

“Thanks. Give me ten minutes.”

I return to Lucie’s room and set up the baby monitor, then go to my room to fetch the other half. I hope the signal reaches to the staff block.

I pull on a tracksuit over my pyjamas and put my phone, house keys and the other half of the monitor in my pockets.

I head downstairs, praying I don’t meet Mr Hawkston on the way. I’m not ready to see him. I need to work out how I feel about what happened… and what I want to happen next. If he hasn’t already decided it’s over.

It’s still light outside, which is weird because upstairs, with all the curtains closed, it felt like the middle of the night. It’s awarm evening and I traipse across the lawn to the building that’s almost entirely hidden from the house by trees.

I ring the bell for the back door. Inside, I can hear footsteps approaching. Alec opens the door with a big smile, but when he sees my worried expression, his face falls. “What’s wrong?”

I shake my head. “Nothing. I just don’t want to be alone.”

The frown that mars his face is enough to let me know he doesn’t believe me. “Okay…” He steps aside, allowing me to pass into the hallway.

The house is pristine; every wall looks newly painted in some expensive version of off-white. The floor is wooden with a pale white-washed appearance. Like the main house, everything is expensive.

Alec’s wearing a pair of shorts and t-shirt, and his hair is messy like he hasn’t brushed it today.

“How come you aren’t making dinner?” I ask.

He shrugs. “Sometimes Mr Hawkston gives me nights off. I prepared a lasagna. He only needs to shove it in the oven.”

“Oh.” Even the idea of Mr Hawkston putting a lasagna in the oven strikes me as wrong. Too domesticated. “You made a whole lasagna for one man?”

“Yeah, but I make it in separate containers. I freeze a bunch of them. That way, when I’m not around, he has food. So he has a one person portion for tonight.”

A hollow feeling carves its way through my chest. It’s the rich person version of a TV dinner.Is Mr Hawkston lonely?How odd that it never occurred to me before that he might be.

“I have some leftover in the fridge,” Alec says. “In fact, I was about to eat. You want some?”

“Yes, please.”

Alec laughs at my eagerness. “I might start to get worried that you’re only after my food.”

“I am,” I deadpan.

He smiles and leads me to the kitchen. I take a seat at the table and he slides a small ceramic dish into the oven.

An hour later and I’m full. “Best lasagna ever,” I declare, patting my belly.

Alec grins. “I aim to please.” He shifts in his seat and fixes his attention on me in a way that alerts me to the fact I’m probably not going to like whatever he’s about to say. “That look on your face when you came to the door… what was wrong?”

Damn it. I thought he’d let this one go. I’m not a good liar. “Nothing.”

“Hmm. Your voice was weird over the phone. I thought something must have happened.” He tilts his head and his eyes narrow. “Did it? You only smiled after you’d polished off the entire plate of lasagna. I thought your smile was a permanent feature. Like a mole. But tonight I’ve barely seen it.” He puts his cutlery down on the plate. “Was it Mr Hawkston?”

I shake my head, aware even as I’m doing it that the action is too vigorous. Too emphatic. I try to backtrack by focusing on the baby monitor, carefully positioning it adjacent to my plate.Casual. “No.”

“I heard him scream at you. We all did.”

“Ugh.” I push my plate away and cross my arms on the table, letting my head fall against them. “It was an awful day. Lucie fell in the river at Charlie’s Speech Day. It was my fault. Sort of. Mr Hawkston told me to stay with her and I let Gemma take her off.”

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