Page 46 of Worth Every Risk

The change of topic gives me whiplash. It’s clear Mr Hawkston is worried, given the way he keeps circling back to the topic of his ex-wife.Geez. This sounds unpleasant and like it’s beyond my job description. He must read my uncertainty because he says, “Just keep her in your sights, okay?”

“Absolutely. Yes. I can do that.”

The car rolls into the quaintest, cutest town, all narrow streets and Georgian terraces. I gawk like a tourist, nose pressed up against the glass. A few minutes later, we park up on the school fields and I get out. The air is warm and smells like freshly cut grass.

The view that greets me is like a scene from a chocolate box. The buildings, some of them at least, are ancient, like something out of Oxford or Cambridge. A spire pokes above the tree line; a church beyond the fields, just out of sight. The school is so grand, and the modern buildings are sleek and ultra-stylish, slotting into place neatly alongside the ancient ones.

Mr Hawkston gets out of the car too, unfolding himself elegantly, like an actor walking onto a set. He barely glances at the view, like this is all so normal for him. But it’s not for anyone who isn’t used to hanging out in high society. I did actually Google—check me out and my smartphone skills—the school fees here, and it’s something crazy for one kid… more than I would earn in an entire year.Several years.

Lucie is still sleeping, and I’m not sure what to do with her. It’s too hot to leave her in the car, so for a moment, I just stare at her cute snoozing face, a tendril of hair by her mouth blowing back and forth with her steady breaths.

I sense a presence by my side and know the millisecond before I turn that Mr Hawkston is there.

“I’ll get her,” he says, and I step out of the way so he can unbuckle his daughter and carry her out.

Around the car, staff are laying out tables and chairs. I didn’t realise he’d brought staff, but I see more of them getting out ofanother nearby car, carrying picnic stuff over to us. There’s a table and tablecloth and champagne on ice. And the food coming out… how many people is Mr Hawkston feeding here? There are platters of shrimp and smoked salmon and canapes. “Did we drive here in convoy?”

Lucie still in his arms, Mr Hawkston nods. “Something like that.”

He’s cradling Lucie like she’s the most precious thing in the world. It’s adorable. He might be a bit sharp with her sometimes, but it’s obvious he loves her. He carefully sets her down, still asleep, on one of the picnic blankets. And then he brushes that little tendril of hair that’s stuck to her lips behind her ear.

“Drink?” someone offers me.

Mr Hawkston sticks out his hand and takes it. “Not for her. She’s working.”

He takes the champagne himself, smiling lopsidedly at me like he feels a bit bad for taking my drink.Does he care what I think?I wouldn’t expect him to make any concessions and I wouldn’t have minded if he hadn’t. Iamworking, after all. But that tiny smile—a wordless ‘I’m sorry’—warms my heart a touch.

I sit with Lucie on what turns out to be the softest picnic rug ever.Cashmere?Nothing like the scratchy woollen one I had as a kid.

While the staff set up our elaborate picnic, I glance around the field, full of highly polished cars, shining like the staff have just finished waxing them. Mixed in, there are a few rustier old estate cars, where the families are sitting on tartan picnic rugs spread out on the grass and tucking into packet sandwiches. It’s amazing to me that even at the most elite boarding school in the country, there’s still a hierarchy.

I don’t know where Mr Hawkston fits in, but I figure it’s somewhere near the top, at least on account of the show he’s putting on and the amount of people who are coming over tosay hello and to join him for champagne. He’s surrounded by other couples, men and women, who appear to be hanging off his every word.

Mr Hawkston is polite and attentive to everyone, and I imagine this is how he works the room at corporate events. It’s a side to him I definitely haven’t seen before. He’s smiling and joking and entertaining these people… and it’s glorious to watch. He’s yummy. Totally in control. It blows my mind that I’ve seen this composed, gorgeous man entirely naked. I’ve smeared raw egg over his pecs, and the memory makes my heart beat a little faster.

And yet, there’s something about his actions that seems performative, as though everything he’s doing is for effect. He must feel my gaze because he glances over. Our eyes meet for only a fraction of a second, but it’s long enough to shatter the façade, as though he’s granting me a glimpse at the real man beneath. I’m instantly greedy for more of his attention as every hair on my body stands upright and heat spreads outwards from my chest.

I look away, willing my body under control.Stop being ridiculous. He’s your boss.I stroke Lucie’s hair as she sleeps, and try to concentrate on her.

“Hello.” A woman’s voice distracts me from Lucie.

She’s pretty, dark-haired, and wearing a yellow suit and a huge hat that casts a shadow over her fine bone structure. She’s peering down at me, and I squint, using my hand as a shield to block the sun. She smiles and crouches opposite me, holding out her hand.

“I’m Kate,” she says, but this means nothing to me, so I stare blankly and she adds, “I’m an old family friend of Matt. Nico”—she nods her head towards a handsome man who looks a lot like Matt—“is my boyfriend.”

Nico’s looking at me with interest, in the way people do when they’ve heard something about you that colours their view. I don’t want to think what Matt might have said to him.

“I’m Aries. Lucie’s nanny.”

“I know,” Kate replies, her beautiful smile giving nothing away. “This must be terribly dull for you. All this old school stuff. Nico loves it. Thinks this place made him the man he is today.” A light chuckle spills from her lips. “Can’t wait to see Charlie in the boat race though. That’s always exciting. Anyway”—Kate strokes Lucie’s cheek and then stands, focusing back on me—“it was good to meet you. Tell Lucie I said hi when she wakes up.”

Kate wanders back to Nico and when she reaches him, they share a chaste kiss, but he slides an arm around her waist and pulls her a fraction too close. As though, despite the fact that they’re in public, he wants her as near as possible, and she doesn’t resist. He whispers something against her ear, and she laughs. The way they interact is adorable. It looks like true love. After a few minutes, the two of them say goodbye to Mr Hawkston and wander off.

It’s not long before Lucie opens her eyes and looks up at me. “Hello, Ariel,” she says, blinking in the sunlight.

“Hey, sweetie. It’s lunchtime. You want me to fix you something?”

She stretches and sits up cross-legged. She looks over to where her father is talking to everyone, watching as the adults pick up what look like smoked salmon blinis.

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