Page 27 of Worth Every Risk

A door opens and slams against a wall, then footsteps run across the upper landing. Aries appears at the top of the stairs, only a few steps above us, breathless and panicked-looking, and wearing only a t-shirt and those tiny shorts. No bra. I can tell from the way her breasts move beneath the shirt.

Her eyes move frantically over the scene before her. “What? What’s wrong?” she shouts.

Lucie rolls onto her back and laughs, holding her little belly. I’m still in position, bent over with my claw hands, face contorted and frozen in a zombie roar, wearing nothing but a pair of boxers.

Aries stares at us, total confusion on her face. Her gaze rakes over me, and I feel it against my bare skin as intensely as when she touched my wrist in the dining room.

I slowly straighten up. “Hi.”

Hi?How did I make that one word sound like a come on?

Lucie is still breathlessly laughing at my feet.

“Is everything okay? I thought someone was dying out here,” Aries says, still panting. “What was that noise?”

“What noise?” I ask as if I wasn’t the one lowing like a cow giving birth only a moment ago.

“That dreadful sound. Like a herd of farm animals being slaughtered.”

“Daddy Monster,” Lucie explains, kicking her feet and giggling. “The noise was Daddy.”

“You.” Aries stares at me, a disbelieving smile splitting across her face. “You made that noise?” She starts chuckling. “Wow. You really are a man of many talents.”

I want to laugh. I want to join in and keep playing this stupid game with my daughter, because I’m feeling more connected to her than I’ve felt in months. I’m high off the hilarity and I feel so fucking good that I want to run up the stairs and hug the beautiful nanny that Lucie has already fallen in love with. I want to ask her to play with us, to run around this fucking great mansion and fill the place with love and laughter. I’m pretty sure Aries would be up for it too.

But I don’t do any of that. I fix a solemn expression on my face and say, “Sorry we disturbed you. Can you give Lucie a bath and help her get dressed? I’ve got to get ready for work.”

Aries’ smile falters and her gaze darts between me and Lucie. “Of course. Come on, Lucie.”

Lucie scampers up the last few steps, arriving at Aries’ feet and pushing herself up to standing. She puffs out her chest and grins. “You can wear my shoes today. But Daddy said not to make a mess of the carpet when you cut off your toes.”

Aries’ eyebrows shoot up, and I bite my bottom lip as I watch her maintain this conversation with Lucie with a serious expression on her face. “Did he, indeed?”

“Yes. And also, I love you. I want you to be my mummy.”

I close my eyes and hold my breath.Damn.When I open my eyes, Aries is frowning, fully focused on Lucie.

“I would so love to be your mummy,” she says, her voice utterly sincere. “But I can’t, because you already have one. But we can be friends.”

“We’re already friends.” Lucie’s brow furrows, then relaxes. “Bestest friends?”

“Absolutely. Bestest buds.”

Lucie lets out a tiny squeal, bounces on her toes and claps her hands, and Aries ushers her towards her room with an indulgent smile plastered over her face. I watch them go, willing Aries to look back at me. I don’t even know why. I only know that I want it.

I wait until they’re out of sight, but Aries doesn’t even glance my way, making me feel oddly deflated, as though she’s stuck a pin in me.

8

ARIES

Iwake unusually early, memories of my dreams about Mr Hawkston falling apart like pieces of a jigsaw. They play on repeat every night, fading with the sunrise. It’s driving me slightly insane.

I haven’t encountered him in person since I found him playing Daddy Monster with Lucie, the morning after the bed-wetting incident, a week ago now. But he has absolutely plagued my subconscious since then.Who am I kidding? He’s plagued my conscious mind too. I’ve been wandering around the house, heart thudding, hoping to catch a glimpse of him like a teenage groupie desperate to see their favourite popstar.Absolutely ridiculous.I bet he hasn’t thought of me at all.

Milky light filters through the windows in my bedroom. I briefly wonder what the time is, but as soon as the thought passes through my mind, hunger hits me, gnawing at the lining of my stomach.Breakfast time.If I haul my arse out of bed now, I can eat quickly before my working day starts. It’s bound to be a full-on Sunday, same as last week. But damn, this bed is comfy.I don’t want to get out from under the covers. It’s better than my one at home, although I haven’t told Mum that.

I count to five and jump out of bed.Ready.

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