Page 26 of Worth Every Risk

I yawn and fling the sheets back, determined to put Aries out of mind. She’s an employee. That’s it. That’s all it can ever be. Lucie watches me as I get out of bed.

“What are we doing today?” she says, all innocent charm and smiles.

“I have to work. Aries is looking after you.” I try to keep my voice neutral, but I’m groggy after last night. I hate having my sleep disturbed.

Lucie looks disappointed, but only for a second. “I really like her.”

A tightening sensation corkscrews in my gut. It’s going to be impossible not to think about Aries if Lucie is going to keep on like this. “I’m glad.”

“I want her to be my mummy.”

I freeze as pins and needles pervade my entire body. It reminds me of how I felt when I got caught breaking the rules at school.This is bad. As much as I hate Gemma, I can’t encourage this.

I sit on the end of the bed and tap the covers to indicate Lucie should sit beside me. She crawls down the bed and sits cross-legged at my side. “Aries can’t be your mummy, Lucie. You already have a mummy.”

“Yes, but Aries is nicer. And she lives here. Mummy doesn’t live here. And Aries loves me.”

Oh, fuck.“Did she say that?”

Lucie ponders this. “No. But I can tell she does. She has nice eyes. I like her eyes. She looks right at me with them. And I love her.”

I scrub a hand over my face as pity for my daughter creates a great gaping vacuum, emptying me out.How the fuck am I supposed to handle this?What if she gets attached to Aries, and then Aries doesn’t stay? Or Aries goes home after the summer, leaving me with a broken-hearted four-year-old?

I’m catastrophizing. Projecting a future that hasn’t happened yet, and might not happen at all. I shift gear and focus on the positives.It’s wonderful that Lucie likes the new nanny. It really is great. Isn’t it?

“I’m going to have a shower. Can you go upstairs and get dressed?”

She pouts. “I can’t get my clothes on by my own.”

“Aries can help you.”

Lucie does a happy little shrug as if this is the best solution ever. “I said she could wear some of my sparkly shoes.”

The image of Aries’ bare feet slides through my mind. Even her feet are sensual. Delicate bones.Fuck’s sake.“I don’t think they’d fit.”

“They would. Aries said she liked them so much, she’d cut her toes off to wear them.”

I chuckle. “She did, did she? Can you tell her not to make a mess of the carpet when she does it?”

Lucie hops off the bed. “Yup. I’ll tell her. I’m going to tell her I want her to be my mummy too. Bye, Daddy.”

“Wait—”

But Lucie is already racing through my suite and out into the hall. I can’t let her ask Aries that. The woman has only been here a couple of days. And more importantly, Lucie needs to know what she can expect from a nanny. I don’t want her to be disappointed. They aren’t mothers…

I race after her, dodging awkwardly between the end of the bed and the ottoman, clumsy in my attempt to stop her. I burst into the hall, and Lucie looks over her shoulder, eyes lighting up when she sees I’m chasing her.She thinks this is a game.She runs up the stairs, letting out an adorable cascade of giggles, and something shifts inside me.Why am I panicking?I take the steps two at a time behind her, starting to laugh too. I haven’t messed around with the kids for far too long.When did we last play anything?

“Daddy Monster, Daddy Monster,” Lucie yells.

Fuck it, why not?I curl my fingers into claws and slow down, opening my mouth wide and bellowing like a zombie as I continue to chase Lucie up the stairs. She’s laughing hysterically, stumbling and climbing her way up ahead of me.

I’m half crawling, half lumbering up behind her like a monster from a seventies horror movie, letting out horrendous lowing sounds that echo up the stairwell.

“Help, help. Ahhhhh,” Lucie screams, still looking back at me every so often, nervous laughter exploding out of her mouth. It’s hilarious, and I’m barely managing to hold in my own laughter.

Lucie screams again just as I reach her, using my claw hands to grab at her tiny feet and ankles. She kicks at me and I swipe at her, letting out my best monster sound yet.

“Aries!” Lucie shrieks at the top of her voice. “Save me, Aries.”

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