Page 18 of Worth Every Risk

Mr Hawkston’s phone rings and he pulls it out of his pocket, releasing Lucie from his embrace at the same time. He looks over his shoulder, searching for me, and I step into his line of sight. “I’ve got to get this. Can you…” He nods at Lucie, and I take her hand whilst he moves away to take his call.

“This whale is really huge, isn’t it?” I say.

A serious expression falls over Lucie’s face. “She’s called Hope. Daddy told me that’s her name. She could eat you in one mouthful.” She performs a giant gulp, followed by a swallow,and then rubs her tummy. It makes me laugh, and Lucie smiles widely in response.

We stare at Hope for a while, and I keep one eye on Mr Hawkston, who’s pacing up and down not far away, gesticulating with one hand. He looks frustrated, if not downright angry.

Lucie notices where my focus is and pouts her bottom lip. “Daddy’s always on the phone.”

“Oh, yeah?”

“Yeah. He loves his phone more than me.”

I tear my gaze from Mr Hawkston to look at his daughter. “Oh, that’s not true. No one loves their phone more than their family.”

She rolls her eyes, which looks incongruously adult on such a young child. “You’ll see.”

And indeed, I do see.

Lucie and I explore the entire blue zone and most of the green zone before Mr Hawkston gets off the phone. At one point I beckon him to join us so we can inspect the creepy crawlies together, because Lucie is so excited by them, but he waves me off with an irritated hand and I feel like an idiot for trying.

I’m beginning to think he just wanted me here today so he could get on the phone guilt-free while convincing himself that he really does take the time to spend with his daughter. I’m making assumptions, but it seems to fit with what I’ve seen so far and what Lucie has said.

Finally, just as we’re about to head upstairs to check out the dodos and the volcanoes, Mr Hawkston finishes his call. He comes back over, face drawn into an indelible frown.

Lucie has her nose smashed up against a display case with what looks like a giant swordfish inside, her little hands splayed on the glass. I’m pretty sure she wants to climb in there, and someone is going to come and reprimand her at any moment, but for now, she’s content and hasn’t noticed her father’s return. Which is definitely a good thing, because he doesn’t look happy.

I walk to meet him. “If you need to go home, or back to work, I can take this from here,” I say in a hushed tone.

He glares at me. “Did I say I wanted to leave?”

I stiffen. “No, I just thought, given the whole being on the phone… you’re clearly busy—”

“Are you judging me?”

Wow, this conversation has spiraled. I’ve hit a nerve.Backtrack, backtrack. “No. I didn’t mean it like that. I’m here to make things easier for you, and if you don’t have time—”

“I’m here, aren’t I?”

I should stop talking but, of course, I don’t. “Not really. This was supposed to be your day with Lucie and it’s nearly lunchtime and you’ve barely put that thing away.” I gesture to his phone, which he’s still clutching in his hand. I swear I see his knuckles tighten around it. “It’s the weekend.”

“I’m well aware what day of the week it is, Aries.” He runs his other hand through his hair, then drags his palm down his face. “I’m busy, and I really don’t like the way you’re looking at me right now.” My breath stutters. I want to contradict him, but his dark, angry eyes are fixed on me, and he speaks before I can. “You think I’m a shitty father.”

Woah. “I don’t.”

“You do. I’ve seen that look before.” He breaks eye contact, turning his gaze to the floor. His jaw is tight as he presses two fingers between his brows. He’s silent for an unnaturally long time, and something about his stance has me holding my tongue.Is he okay?“Maybe you’re right,” he mutters finally. “I have stuff to deal with, and it’s better if I’m not here at all than present, but totally distracted.”

“That’s true.” His eyes widen as though he’s surprised that I agreed, and my next words pour out in a rush. “I only meant that it’s better for Lucie because she can tell your focus is elsewhere. To a little kid, that feels like they aren’t important enoughto command your attention. And that translates into generally feeling unimportant and growing up with low self-worth.”

He frowns, and for a brief moment he looks completely taken aback by the barrage of amateur psychology I’ve hit him with. “Are you a therapist?” he asks, his voice harsh.

I cower a tiny bit. “No.”

“Then perhaps you should keep your opinions to yourself.”Shit.Nice one, Aries. “I’m going back to the office. The car will take you and Lucie wherever you want to go.” He opens his wallet and pulls out a credit card. “Take this. Put everything on it. Food. Tickets. Whatever. Keep it for expenses while you're here.”

I take the card from him without a word.

“Daddy?” Lucie must have noticed our discussion, because she’s no longer peering into the display case. She’s staring up at her father, her eyes welling with tears.

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