Page 124 of Worth Every Risk

The last week has been a disaster. I haven’t been able to work. Aries whirled into my life, blew the whole thing into pieces, and then vanished.

I don’t know what to do without her. There’s a yawning chasm in every moment of my day, knowing when I get home, she won’t be there.

Lucie is distraught. Heartbroken. Even now, in the drawing room, offering biscuits to Seb and Nico and Kate, she doesn’t look her usual happy self.

“Thanks so much, sweetie,” Kate says, taking a biscuit that Lucie has licked all over. She’s possibly even sucked it.

When Lucie moves to Nico, Kate puts the biscuit down on the side-table, tucking it behind a lamp so Lucie won’t see. It’s considerate, and it makes me think of Aries. It’s the kind of thing she would do.No. Aries would have eaten the whole damn biscuit and smiled doing it.

“Go on then,” Seb says, nodding at Nico and Kate. “Tell us how he did it.”

Kate grins, and the diamond sparkling on her finger catches the light. “In the London Eye,” she says. “Got down on one knee—”

“Mate,” Seb interrupts while staring at Nico. “You did it in one of those bubble capsules?” Seb tucks his chin, one eyebrow arcing over a disapproving blue eye. “Bit cliché, isn’t it?”

“I’m memorising that expression”—Nico points at Seb’s face—“so that I can replicate it when you propose to someone.”

“Just thought you’d have gone for something more private.”

“It was private,” Nico retorts.

“It was very romantic,” Kate says in a pacifying tone. She smiles at Nico like he’s the best thing since sliced bread, and he puts his arm around her on the sofa and kisses her temple. They’re sickeningly perfect together, and I don’t think either of them would have given a shit where the proposal took place. The answer was a forgone conclusion. There’s a hard lump of envy nestling at the base of my throat that I’m trying to bury.

“Are you going to have babies now?” Lucie asks. “Daddy says that’s the only reason people get married.”

A sudden chill ripples through the room, and Seb fists his hand and brings it to his lips. Kate’s raised teacup is halfway to her lips as her nervous gaze shoots sideways to Nico, whose gaze is flicking from me to Seb and back again.

“People get married for all sorts of reasons,” Seb says, and I’m surprised he’s the one segueing us out of this awkwardness.

Kate, who has managed to collect herself, leans towards Lucie and adds, “We might have babies. But we’re choosing to get married because we love each other, and we want to celebrate that with all our friends and family.”

“Oh,” Lucie whispers, like this is a piece of conflicting information she doesn’t have context for.

I clench my jaw and swallow.Shitty father.

“How’ve you been?” Nico asks, looking at me.

The air crackles with awkward tension, and when I don’t answer immediately, Seb chips in. “You cancelled all your fucking meetings.”

Lucie pricks up, looking at me. “Uncle Seb said a bad word.”

Seb slaps a hand over his mouth and stares at Lucie. “Sorry. Uncle Seb is a very naughty man.”

Lucie laughs and gives him a biscuit, which he immediately eats even though she’s definitely chewed half of it off already. He might be a bit of an arse sometimes, but he has a heart of fucking gold.

The doorbell rings and I get up, thankful not to have them all staring at me like I’m broken and they don’t know how to put me back together. Or to have to respond to Seb’s non-question about my meetings. I’ll reschedule them at some point.

I find Mrs Minter in the hall, having buzzed a courier in. She signs for a package, which she hands to me. “For Lucie.”

“For meeee?” Lucie must have followed me into the hall, because she’s nipping at my heels, grabbing my trousers, her voice high-pitched and excited.

I glance at the package. It’s from one of those internet photo companies. “Let’s see what’s in it, shall we?”

I lead her back to the drawing room, where Nico and Seb and Kate are talking in hushed tones, perched on the edge of the sofas, leaning in so their heads are close together, like school kids keeping secrets. They fall silent when we enter, and I suspect they’re talking about me… probably about how I’m falling apart, or perhaps they’re plotting an intervention. Something to save me from myself. I ignore them and sit on the floor with Lucie as she rips open the package.

She squeals when she sees what’s inside, whereas I immediately feel nauseous. A photo book, hardcover, with a picture of Aries and Lucie on the front.

“Look, Daddy,” Lucie cries, thrusting the thing in my face, “It’s Ariel.” Then she presses the book to her lips and gives the image of Aries a big smack on the lips. “I love her.”

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