Page 113 of Worth Every Risk

She shakes her head, and strands of her hair catch the brutal gleam of the overhead lights, turning into burnished gold. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s Charlie’s birthday party tomorrow,” I say. “Let’s just get through that, then we can sort this out properly.”

“Okay.” She stands, and as she passes me, her hand reaches out like she means to touch me, but she doesn’t. Her hand falls to her side like she lost her nerve. “I made a mistake. I’m sorry.”

“We both made a mistake.”

Unspoken words hum in the air, and I know she’s wondering the same fucking thing I am.Is this such a huge breach of trust that we can’t get beyond it? Is this over? Are we over?

Every fibre of my being wants to reach out and pull her to me; tell her I don’t care, that I want her more than this… need her more than this. But I can’t because I’m not sure it’s true anymore, and the thought breaks my fucking heart.

33

ARIES

Get through the party.

And then what?

I spent half of last night staving off the need to cry into my pillow, the other half tossing in light sleep that leaves me foggy-headed when I wake.

Why did I let a teenager eke a promise out of me that was not at all in his best interest, or mine now I come to think of it?I’d been so angry at Matt… so furious that he treated me so badly in front of his family that I neglected my duty. But in my defence, Charlie had been very convincing, and I hadn’t wanted to sour the holiday either.

Today, that sense of doom that has been plaguing me since Covent Garden is shackled round my ankles, weighing me down. I messed up. It was a massive error in judgment and I’m surprised Matt hasn’t fired me.

Maybe that’s what he meant by ‘Get through the party’. Get through the party, and then I’ll fire you. My mind’s been so off the job, I’ve left Lucie settled in front of the cinema screenwatching The Little Mermaid again while I help Alec with party preparations for later.

“What’s wrong?” Alec says as he adds the finishing touches to the birthday cake. “You look beyond miserable.”

Matt’s words rattle around in my empty skull, even as I try to stay present and focus on Alec.We both made a mistake.

What does he mean? Does he think we…us… is a mistake? Am I his mistake?

I force a smile. “It’s nothing.”

He raises an eyebrow. “Like hell it is. Is it him? Is it Mr Hawkston? Need me to have a word?” He puffs out his chest like he can be man enough to stand up to Matt Hawkston, but a smile teases at his lips, and I know he’d never dare.

“Thanks, but I’ll be okay.”

He adds a final icing flourish to the cake and stands back to admire his work. It’s an epic two-tier cake that looks more like a wedding cake than a birthday cake.

On top, it saysHappy 17th Birthday Charliein a gorgeous chocolate icing scrawl.

“Help me lift it into the pantry?” he says.

“No way. I can’t be responsible for something like that.”

“Come on. I can’t leave it out here. Lucie will stick her fingers in it,” he says.

I laugh and help him move the cake. We place it down on the table in the pantry, and I eye it greedily. “Maybe if I take a small bite, right here”—I dip my head down to one side—“no one will notice.”

Alec grins and swipes at my hand, which is reaching out to the cake. “Get your hands—”

“Sleeping with the nanny. Really classy, Matthew. Really fucking classy.”

Gemma’s voice cuts through Alec’s words, and the two of us freeze. Her footsteps click down the stairs, followed by Matt’s heavier ones.

Alec’s eyes go wide, and he holds a finger to his lips, using his other hand to pull the door of the pantry closed a little more so we’re concealed.

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