Page 7 of Harry

His mouth tightened and he felt the familiar ache inside his chest. “It would be a ‘no’.”

Taking another deep breath, she stepped back and lifted her chin. “Goodbye, Harry.”

He watched her walk away from him and did not go after her. He could have followed her, forced the issue, but she was right. They had circled around the subject until they were bleeding, but both of them were still steadfast in their decisions.

He didn’t want children and as much as he tried and searched himself to see if in the distant future he would change his mind, the scars of being the son of a tyrant ran too deep for him to even contemplate it. And it wouldn’t be fair to her to pretend that he was going to change his mind.

Turning around, he headed for the bar with the intention of dulling his pain with expensive liquor.

*****

The soggy tissues were piled on top of the lovely cherry wood side table, evidencing the fact that she had been crying her eyes out since she returned home from the dreaded party. After the conversation with Harry, she found Michael and told him she wanted to leave.

“I can take a cab, if you’d prefer to stay.”

“Absolutely not. I am getting bored, by the way.”

She knew it wasn’t true, but she was too weary and broken to argue. And he had insisted on staying with her and making her tea.

“You don’t have to stay the night.” She was curled up on the sofa, with her feet on his lap. He had thrown a blanket over her and was rubbing her feet.

“Surely you don’t expect me to be traveling at this hour of the night?”

She cast him a tired look and felt the weariness pressing down on her like a wet cloak.

“Seeing him again only made things worse.”

“You didn’t tell me what he said to you.”

“He wanted to come over.”

“But you said no.”

She nodded. “All the time I kept wondering if I am doing the right thing. There are a number of couples who do not have kids, and they are happy. Harry and I could be one of those couples. We could travel the world.” Her smile was tremulous. “He promised to take me out on his boat and never got around to doing so.

We could find things to do. There are so many abandoned children in this country alone. I could get involved in several children’s home and try and fill a gap in their lives.” She stared at him pleadingly as if trying to get him to agree with her. “I love him.”

“I know.” Michael said quietly, taking her hand in his. “And you would be compromising your decision, putting aside what you really want for him. It would not take long for both of you to be unhappy.” His fingers tightened on hers. “We both know how desperately you want a family. And I can safely assume that has not changed.”

“No.” She acknowledged dejectedly. “It hasn’t.” Leaning her head back, she gazed up at the intricate pattern of the ceiling. “I find myself wishing that I was one of those driven career women who would never dream of even entertaining the idea of having children.”

“But you’re not and I will not sit here and have you berating yourself for being who you are.”

Tilting her head down, she sent him a fleeting smile. “You’re such a good friend, I have no idea what I would do without you.”

“Fortunately, you never have to find out.”

*****

Janelle waited anxiously for the result of the examination and the woman had been thorough. Blood work, urine sample and a whole slew of tests had been done. It had taken close to an hour for her to finish up and afterwards she had been told to sit in the waiting room. That was half an hour ago and she was still waiting.

Maybe there was something terribly wrong with her. The loss of weight, the decrease in appetite, the dizziness and nausea could mean she was terminally ill.

If Michael had not insisted on her coming to the doctor first thing this morning, she would have put it off. But if she was ill, she wanted to know about it and the earlier the better. It could be cancer – and the dread that settled inside her chest made it difficult for her to breathe.

When her phone rang, she dragged it out immediately and answered. Michael had called her two times already, as anxious as she was.

“Still no word,” she bit out, sending the receptionist an irritated look, even though it was not her fault she was still waiting.

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