Page 54 of Harry

“That’s because we need to move.”

“Move?” Her brow knitted. “Where?”

“Anywhere in a particularly good neighborhood, preferably in close proximity to a damn good school. The company has some properties that we could take a look at. Mother wants to move from the house. I have been trying to convince her to do so.

It cannot be sold of course because of some stupid codicil in the will. But it can become a charitable donation and be used as a museum or something like that. And…,” he paused briefly, “she wants to be close to us. Not in the same house, but on the same property. I told her I would discuss it with you.”

She noticed he never said marriage and that was something else that was bothering her. But she was afraid to mention it.

“I’m fine with that.”

He studied her for a few more seconds. “You don’t seem too pleased. It’s not something you have to decide now…”

“No.” She shook her head and forced a smile. “She’s the only grandparent left, so being near is a good idea. You want a house.”

“With a huge backyard. I’m thinking of building a treehouse.”

“You are useless with a hammer and a drill.”

“Not true. You should see me on work sites. I have been practicing.” He continued to stare at her.

“I’m not ready.”

“Then we should wait. I don’t mind staying here…”

“But you want marriage and I’m not ready. You are forgetting that I know you, Janelle. I know every nuance of your face and I can see the all questions you’re afraid to ask. I’m not ready.” His jaw had become tense, his eyes wintry. “I can only deal with onething at a time and right now, it’s the pregnancy. I would like you to accept that.”

Putting away the half empty cup, she reached for the saltines and picked one up to start nibbling.

“I have my pride and would never force a man to propose.”

“But it’s there. We might as well talk about it – deal with it now, so there’s no misunderstanding. I don’t know what the future holds. I love you. I bloody well do and have never said that to another living soul before. I am here, let that be enough.”

“It’s always what you want, isn’t it?” She asked wearily. “Never what I desire. I have to jump through hoops for you and sometimes it is damn hard.”

Tamping down the impatience, he took a breath. “Look, I never lied to you. I’m always upfront and honest. I never did relationships before I met you, so this is a novelty. Being here with you is new to me.

I am trying my best. I am not forced to be here. I want to be. And I want to be with you through the entire thing. But I’m just not ready for that sort of commitment. I want to know if you are okay with it.”

“I have to be.”

“You don’t bloody have to be. We all have a choice.”

“I’m knocked up with twins, no less and I love you, so yes, the choice has been taken away from me.” Pulling her feet away, she put the biscuits down and rose.

“Janelle…”

“I’m tired.”

“Dammit…”

“I don’t want to argue. You’ve made your point clear, so end of discussion.”

His jaw clamped shut as he watched her make her way towards the bed. He wanted to punch something, to bruise his knuckles and still go on punching. She was constantly

making him angry.

Damn her. Why did it have to be so bloody hard? He loved her and was here, wasn’t he? Why can’t that be enough? He sat there staring as she pulled the covers over her and turned her back.

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