“No.” Lifting their joined hands, he kissed hers. “I need to say it. I need to explain to you why I am such a bloody mess. As you already suspected, my old man was part of twin brothers.” His mouth twisted. “Apparently, I was named for him – the brother.
The beloved brother who was very different in character. He was the nice one – the calm to my old man’s volatility.” He told her the entire story and she listened in horror.
“Oh God.” She whispered. “Oh, dear God. Your dad must have been destroyed. To love someone so much and then lose him like that – it’s positively dreadful.”
He stared at her, his mind clicking as he realized that she had lost both her parents at one go. “You can relate.”
“Something like that.” Tugging her hand from his, she used them to frame his face. “It still did not give him the right or was an excuse to take it out on you. You were a child and had nothing to do with what happened to your uncle. He was a monster, plain and simple.”
He felt his heart shattering. Even now, she was not condemning him. He had tucked his tail between his legs and run away and still she did not lash out. Christ! He did not deserve her.
“He’s in me.” He reminded her fiercely. “That monster is part of me, and I am so bloody afraid that it will come out and want to play when I’m with them.” His hand drifted to her bump and felt a quick jolt of his nervous system at the slight movement.
Placing her hand over his, she pressed lightly. “I have known you almost a year now and I have seen you upset, angry and cold as ice. I have seen you trying to outrun your demons. But the one thing I never see is a monster.
I see a man who is capable of loving a woman – me…!” She used her free hand to jab at her chest. “You love me. You are capable of love. I have witnessed it, and others have seen it. You came when I needed you most and you took charge.”
He held her eyes for a few ticking seconds, before bending to brush his lips against hers. His desire stirred, but he was determined to keep it in check. He was not a bloody animal after all.
“You have more confidence in me than I have in myself,” he said softly.
“I just want you to be involved.” I need you, darling.”
He felt a shudder going through his body at that and had to close his eyes and try and control his reactions.
“How about this?” He asked softly, opening his eyes. “We take this one step at a time.”
“Sounds good to me. What does that mean?”
“I want to go to your next appointment.” He took a deep breath. “Shep misses you and I think it is prudent for you to come and live with me at the pool house. Mother is dying to get the chance to take care of you. As you know, the chef is one of the best and he will see to it that you always have well-balanced meals.”
She cocked her head to look at him. “You want me to live with you?”
“Yes.” He moved restlessly. “The original arrangement.” He took another breath. “I’m heavily involved in this housing complex and like to show my face every now and again.” Lifting a hand, he pushed back the hairs from her face.
“I need to do some research on this doctor to make certain she’s as efficient and capable as she claims to be.”
“Harry…?”
“No., he shook his head. “I know it seems I am taking charge and am a little late in the game, but I want to do this. I need to do this. Will you let me?”
She couldn’t say no. She was still mulling over what he had told her and realized that it was going to take some time for them to work through their issues. But she was determined to be patient. He had lived without love for so long. Now that he was faced with it, he had no idea how to behave. She loved him enough to cut him some slack.
“She’s a very good doctor.”
“We’ll see. How do you feel?”
“Great.”
“Will you move in with me?”
“Will I have to pick up after you?”
“No more than usual.” He laughed as she rolled her eyes. And felt happiness bursting inside his chest.
“Yes.” She whispered, snuggling against him. “Yes.”
*****