Page 18 of Harry

Granted, he had never hit a woman, but his father had never physically hurt his wife either. He didn’t have to. When words could do so much damage. Leaning back, he closed his eyes briefly. He had done the same thing to Janelle.

Hurt her with his words. Turned away from her when she told him she needed him. Had not even inquired about her health. Goes to show that the fricking apple does not fall too far from the bloody tree. He was his father all over again and that is why he did not want children.

He knew the sufferings an adult could place on a helpless child, and he never wanted a child of his to suffer through what his old man had put him through. He had been sent to a private school and there he had raised hell.

He had taken his frustration, acted out by smoking, drinking, whoring and Christ knew there had been girls who had been willing to accommodate him. But one thing had been clear to him growing up. The resolve was - never to have kids.

And she had ruined that for him. She was the first woman he had ever asked to move in with him.

“You should feel flattered.” He had half joked. “This never happened before. I do believe you have put a spell on me.”

“That’s it then. I am a witch and I tipped some mind-altering drug into your whiskey when you turned your back.”

“Mind altering is what it is.” He growled. “Why else would I be willing to share my space with another human being. I alwaysthought that Shep would be enough. Now, here I am persuading you for what?

An hour to move in with me? And you are not budging. Do you know how humiliating that is? I am accustomed to women falling all over themselves to please me.”

“And that is the problem right there. You are too used to getting your own way. I am not that kind of woman. I am not going to put up with your selfish ways. That is why I am hesitating.” He had stopped joking after that and pulled her into his arms.

“I will not hurt you or I will try my best not to. The fact is, I am in love for the first time in my bloody life and it scares the shit out of me. I feel vulnerable.

Be proud that you are the only one that has ever broken through the steel gate I put over my heart. I do not know how you did I and I ‘m going to have to dig deeper to find out if you’re really a witch after all.”

“I just might be. But it so happens that I love you too.”

A feral growl escaped him as memories coursed through his brain. He could hear her voice as clearly as if she were sitting right next to him. The sound and timber of her sultry voice, her soft laughter.

He could see the sparkle in her chestnut brown eyes, the curve of those delicious lips he had never been able to get enough of. The shape of her body. And that reminded him of the shape of it now.

The changes in her. He could still feel the warmth of her belly on his fingers. The jolt he felt when she pressed his hand against her flesh.

“Damn you!” He whispered, his throat thick with despair. “Damn you for doing this to me.”

*****

She finally dragged herself upstairs to bed after drinking enough tea to sink a ship. She was sick after he left, the meal she had consumed at the restaurant, revolting, and coming back up.

She barely had time to make it to the powder room before she was retching. Until all that was left were the dry heaves that made her stomach hurt. And she had crawled back into the kitchen to make a pot of tea.

The tears were still there, and she wanted to hate him for bringing her to this. But some part of her still yearned for him and if he had burst through the door, she would have forgiven him instantly.

She had always been strong. Her parents had instilled that strength in her. She had been an only child to an older couple. Her mother had been forty and her dad had been five years older.

They had given up hope of ever having children and had resigned themselves to being childless when she came along, and they had lavished her with love but had stopped short of spoiling her.

She was brought up in church and taught to love and honor the Lord. They had lavished her with attention. They had both been teachers. Her mother had taught at a local high school and her dad had been a professor at a community college. They loved to read - had taken her on travels whenever they were on break.

They would do impulsive things, like packing a bag on weekends and just driving somewhere. She loved that. They had been faintly amused and amazed by her vivacious personality, her ability to make friends and how natural she was at being a leader.

And they had instilled in her confidence that had been unshaken until she lost them. But what she always remembered was the love they had showered her with and because of that, she knew she would one day make an exceptionally good mother.

But with Harry, it had been the exact opposite. He did not come from a loving home. Which made it almost impossible for him to love anyone or to accept that he was loved. She had seen that in him from the very beginning, but it had not stopped her from hoping that her love would change him.

Crawling between the sheets, her limbs shaking, she had to acknowledge that she had been a fool to hope.

Chapter 5

“I have work.” She said without looking up from the dossier she was perusing as soon as she heard the door open. Early this morning she had come to a decision. She had cried her last tears for him.

---