Page 18 of Shadow

I knew when to fight fire and when to let it burn me. And today… today I was going to let it burn me. I might come out less burned if I did. If I fought that fire… it might damn well kill me. I wouldn’t win. I knew it with every fiber of my fucking being.

Blowing out a soft breath, I moved onto the mattress, hating that my cheeks flamed as I crawled across the king-sized bed to settle in the middle. I’d never been the bottom.Never. I needed to be in control. But Rurik was one hundred percent a top. A dom. I couldn’t ever see him bottoming for me, especially not when he had a cloak of steely rage wrapped around him. His anger was so damn palpable, I could barely breathe through its cloying thickness.

Slowly, I flattened myself to the mattress, my breath shuddering out of me. I hated that I trembled as I waited on him to do something. Anything. But Rurik was silent behind me. I couldn’t even hear him moving anymore. Was he still undressing? Or was he just staring at me, bare and laid out before him?

Suddenly, my arms were wrenched behind me. I gasped, trying to push up, to knock him away, but then, Rurik was on the bed, one knee resting on my upper back. Vomit clawed its way up my throat as he pinned my wrists together in his steely grasp.And then, the leather of his belt was wrapping around my wrists, capturing them and holding them at the small of my back.

“Rurik,” I gasped, panic clawing at my senses. I swallowed bile. “Rurik?—”

His knee moved, and then, his hand was clamping around the nape of my neck. He leaned over next to me, his blue eyes meeting mine. Some of his mask was back in place now, and his eyes were cool and calm.

My heart hammered against my chest bone as I stared at him, my breaths panting out of me. I yanked at my wrists, trying to dislodge the belt, but my efforts were futile. Rurik had me captive.

“Breathe,” he growled. His hand slid from my neck to my hair, and he gripped the strands, tugging until my scalp smarted. But my brain silenced, and I sagged against the mattress, my skin already growing clammy. He loosened his hold and scraped his blunt nails along my scalp as I closed my eyes, sucking in deep breaths. “That’s it. No matter what happens here, Malik, you’re safe with me. I need you to remember that and hold on to that.”

What the fuck was that supposed to mean?

My eyes snapped open as his hand disappeared. He was standing by the bed now. His shirt was missing, and the snap of his slacks was undone, but his zipper was still up. Still, there was no mistaking the thick bulge pressing against his zipper.

“What?” I gasped. “Why?” He just continued staring at me. Rurik?”

“I’m not going to be gentle with you, Shadow,” he warned me. A shiver of trepidation raced down my spine. “But you’re alwayssafe.” He slowly eased down the zipper of his pants, and I swallowed thickly, the sound audible to my own ears. “Safeword, Malik?”

My chest was too fucking tight. And there was a pit in my stomach growing and growing and threatening to swallow me fucking whole. I was filled with trepidation and unease.

Still, I managed to croak the first word that came to mind.

“Prison,” I whispered.

15

Rurik

Prison…

I swiped my tongue over my front teeth as I regarded Malik. His eyes were shut again, but he was trembling just the slightest bit. I’d been burning with rage since the moment he blew up that SUV. Had barely been able to keep my mask—a mask Anatoly had made sure I perfected so I could blend into society despite my psychopathy—in place long enough to get him back to the hotel.

I’d seen that fight in him. Had seen that anger burning beneath his skin. Sure, he was mad at me. Oh, he wasfurious. But when we’d stepped into that elevator and he’d lost control, the root cause of his rage bubbled to the surface.

The moment I’d seen all that anxiousness bleed into his dark eyes, I knew I was fucking right last night.

Malik had undiagnosed acute anxiety. And that panic attack he’d just had only solidified that. His eyes had been wild with panic.His breaths had been coming too fast. The moment I’d snapped that belt tight around his wrists, his control hadsnapped. His mind had fractured.

In the face of my unhinged mind, he’dsubmitted. Fuckingbeautifully, at that.

But his safeword wasn’t lost on me. His voice might’ve trembled when he said that single word—prison—but I knew exactly why he’d chosen that word. It was his last-ditch effort to taunt me.

Prison—where he thought I’d trapped him under my thumb.

Prison—where I’d made himmine.

Prison—a metaphorical place he felt trapped in now.

Prison—that metaphorical place where I’d watch him fucking rise from the shackles of his mind.

With my eyes locked on his, I grabbed the bottle of lube I’d set on the end of the bed before I’d restrained Malik and clicked the lid open. Malik flinched, but he didn’t open his eyes. Like he thought if he couldn’t see me moving, couldn’t see what I was doing, he could pretend that this wasn’t happening.

I smirked. I’d let him pretend for a little while longer. But he’d realize soon enough pretending wasn’t happening while he was beneath me. While my cock was splitting him open andbreedinghim. While I was fuckingowninghim.

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