Page 10 of Shadow

The bathroom door opened, and I turned to look over my shoulder, damn near swallowing my tongue when Malik stepped out, steam billowing behind him. A towel was wrapped around his hips, leaving the rest of his beautiful creamy skin on display. Water droplets clung to his skin and rolled over his pecs. Mymouth ran dry at the sight of his chiseled abs and those thick biceps.

Jesus fucking Christ, the man was going tokillme. I’d always known Malik was a beautiful man. Even when he was scowling and raging at the world, he was magnificent and jaw-droppingly gorgeous. Butnothingcould prepare me for how damn intoxicating the sight of him naked would be.

“You got a fucking staring problem?” Malik growled as he walked over to where I was standing, clutching the towel at his left hip so tightly, I was actually surprised he didn’t rip it. His scent wrapped around me as he drew closer, and my dick hardened so fast, I went lightheaded for a moment. He’d used my body wash, andgoddamn, I wanted to lay him out over that bed and rut into him like a fucking beast. Having my scent on him made something primal bubble up inside me.

“Just admiring a good-looking man,” I rasped.

Malik’s eyes flared with heat, and his nostrils flared. We stared at each other for a good minute before he ripped his eyes from mine, snatched his bag from the chair, and stormed back to the bathroom. When the door shut behind him, I leaned over and gripped the edges of the table. Closing my eyes, I drew in a deep, calming breath, willing my body to cool the fuck down.

Malik was not going to fold for me overnight. I knew that. But it sure as fuck didn’t stop me from hoping. I’d been head over heels for the man for so damn long, I didn’t know what it felt like tonotwant him anymore.

Sighing, I pushed off the table, then lifted the lids off our food. Malik came out just as I was sitting in the armchair. It was uncomfortable as fuck, and I grimaced. But it would do since Icouldn’t exactly sit on a bed and try to eat my steak. That was just a disaster waiting to happen.

Malik stepped out of the bathroom in a pair of gym shorts and a plain black t-shirt. Without a word, he walked over and grabbed his burger before taking a seat on the bed. We ate in silence, and eventually, Malik grabbed the TV remote and began flipping through channels until he settled onSpongeBob.

“Didn’t peg you for a guy who watched this,” I said, surprised by his choice.

Malik grunted. “Doesn’t require a lot of thinking to watch. And my mom used to always put it on for me when I was little. Using it to keep myself engaged and calm became a… coping mechanism of sorts.”

I chewed on my bite of steak, my eyes on the television screen, but I wasn’t actually paying attention to it. I was pondering the little piece of himself he’d let me see.

“You were angry as a little kid, too?” I finally asked.

Malik nodded, not removing his eyes from the TV screen. “Mom tried anger management classes for me, but it didn’t work too well. She tried therapy, too, but that went about just as good. So, she did her best to just come up with her own coping mechanisms for me. Cartoons that were simple and maybe even a bit stupid worked.”

We continued eating in silence for a little longer as I thought over his words, thinking back on what I remembered from the single psychology class I’d taken in college. I hadn’t taken it because I wanted to take it. The college had forced me to take some bullshit elective to “broaden my horizons” because it would look great on my college transcript.

I only went to college because Anatoly and his family made me. Not because I wanted to. But Anatoly wouldn’t let me move up the ranks and become his second if I didn’t have a college education behind me. He wanted to make sure I would be highly respected in our world since I hadn’t been born into his family—had only been a kid they found starving on the streets after my mom skipped out on me and my dad drowned himself in the bottom of a whiskey bottle.

I glanced at Malik. He’d set his plate aside and was calmly focusing on the TV while twisting the draw string of his shorts around his finger. He unwound it, then did it all over again.

Was it possible Malik had anxiety? Sure, everyone had anxiety in some form, but was Malik’s overwhelming enough that his manifested in bursts of rage?

“Has your mom ever had you speak to someone about anxiety?” I blurted.

Malik swung his head toward me, his brows furrowing over his dark eyes. “What? No. I don’t have fucking anxiety, Rurik.” And there it was—the anger. And now that I thought about it—yeah, anxiety made perfect sense. Every time Malik was faced with a situation that made him uncomfortable, backed him into a corner, or left him feeling like he didn’t know what choice to make, he became angry.

I shook my head. “I’m pretty sure you have some form of anxiety, Malik.” I held up my hand when he opened his mouth to no doubt bite my head off. “Before you go chewing me up and spitting me out, anxiety isn’t always panic attacks. Sometimes, you just get… mad.”

He frowned then, like he didn’t know what to do with himself. Without a word, he turned back to the TV, but that confused yet thoughtful look didn’t leave his face.

Maybe—justmaybe—I might be able to make some headway with the beautiful man now that we were possibly getting to the root cause of his explosive personality.

8

Malik

The floor was fucking uncomfortable. I’d slept in a lot of shitty places since joining the Ghost Born MC and while I’d been in the military, but this floor took the cake. There was no blanket. No sheet. Just me, my clothes, and two fucking pillows. I’d been down here tossing and turning for what had to be a good hour, and I couldn’t evenbeginto fall asleep.

Fuck Rurik for this. He was backing me into a corner, and I fuckinghatedit.

Growling under my breath, I pushed myself up into a sitting position and scrubbed at my face. Dropping my hands to my lap, I peered up at the bed. Rurik hadn’t moved for a while, and his breaths were even, but I didn’t think they were deep enough for him to actually be asleep. Which fucking sucked because he would know the moment I got into that bed.

I didn’twantto give in to whatever fucked up plan he had in his head, but if I wanted sleep, I couldn’t remain on this floor. And since I had no idea what Rurik had planned for tomorrow, I needed to be well-rested. I couldn’t exactly protect either of us if I was tired and sluggish.

Protect either of us.

Fucking hell. Ididwant to protect him. While Rurik rode every fucking nerve I had and I didn’t want to give into the temptation he presented, IknewI’d rip this entire world apart if something happened to him.

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