Page 81 of Scarred Resolve

“What’s that?”

“We’re at war. We don’t really know who the enemies are. We don’t know how many there are. I think we don’t even know the entirety of their goals, but we are certainly at war,” I said evenly, knowing he could handle that.

“Witches?”

“A sect of them, yes,” I said, nodding as I remembered how Subira described it. “We need to be cautious and ready for anything. I’ve been told I’ll be kept in the loop about anything concerning it, and that’s a promise from Hasan.”

“He’ll keep it,” Heath said. “Wartime isn’t the time for family problems to get in the way of survival.”

“Today proved that he isn’t holding a grudge right now,” I said, shrugging. “He was… rather nice again, but then, you were never brought up. But that’s a discussion for another day. I need to sit down with the pack.”

“To explain this to them as well, yes? We’ll work on some security measures. You were right when you told Subira that no one here was going to be lost. We’ll make it happen. I can get the pack together right now. They’ll drop everything.”

“Please do,” I said, taking a deep breath. “I’m going to sit in here for a little while until they get here.”

“Can I send Carey in?” he asked as he stepped away.

“Yes. Please,” I said, a broken smile taking over my face at the thought of her. He opened the door, and there she stood, waiting.

“Go on,” he said, moving out of her way. She was in the room and in my arms before he left. The door clicked softly as I lifted and spun her around. I didn’t care that she was now taller than me. I didn’t care that she was sixteen years old.

“I missed you,” she said, holding tight.

“I missed you, too.”

We stayed in the hug until I released it, knowing I could hold on to her forever. Once I let her go, though, I caught her expression.

Tears filled her eyes. While I could smell her sadness and joy from both missing me and seeing me back home alive again, I hadn’t caught the undertone of anger until that moment when I could see it in her eyes.

“You didn’t tell me,” she said, wiping those tears. “You didn’t tell me what was going on.”

“I didn’t want to worry you,” I said, sitting back on my desk. “Carey?—”

“I’ve known about everything else, and you didn’t tell me about this. Instead, I had to bother Landon and Dirk, then I had to force Dad to tell me. I’m not a little kid. You were going to do something dangerous, and you had to do it, and you didn’t tell me. I was worried anyway when you just left so fast after a bunch of whispered conversations.”

“I…” I didn’t know what to say. I refused to think I had done anything wrong by trying to protect her in one of the few situations when I had a chance to, yet she was valid in the way she felt.

She’s going to be an adult soon, and the choice I tried to make for her is going to be hers alone. This is just a part of the whole growing-up thing.

Those thoughts made me think of a boy who didn’t get those choices and didn’t have the future Carey was facing. Human, supernatural, or living a life in between, it didn’t matter. This was the age when the future rolled out in front of the young and they had their first tastes of real freedom.

“I’m sorry,” I finally said. “I don’t regret it. I was trying to do something nice for you, and I missed how not knowing only hurt you, anyway. It’s difficult, Carey, finding the balance of you growing up and not being grown up.”

“Yeah.”

“Tell me about school,” I said, holding my arms open. She came back into them, and during the hug, she told me about school until someone knocked on the door.

“The pack is here, I know,” I called out to Heath outside my office. I had been following all of their movements.

“What’s happening now?” Carey asked.

Sighing, I considered how to best phrase it and knew that there was literally nothing I could do to protect her from this truth.

“I have to tell everyone out there that the moon cursed are officially at war with the witches who are attempting to control us.”

“Oh…” Carey had apparently not been prepared for that.

“Yeah. Listen to me, Carey.” I waited for her to meet my eyes. “I love you.” Then I pushed her to the door, and she once again switched places with Heath, who made sure she didn’t linger on the other side.

“Are you ready for this?” he asked me.

I had to think of an answer to that, just like I had to think about what to tell Carey. I was scarred and scared. I was tired, worn to the bone from the endless violence, the problems that never seemed to resolve, only to morph into the next. One thing continued to lead to another. That was life. Life left everyone scarred in some way or another. Before leaving for Alaska, I had been tired and scared, haunted by Fenris and Rainer. I still was, and now I had new things to haunt my dreams and nightmares. I knew one thing, though, as I stared at the man I would fight the world to be with, thinking of the girl I wished was my daughter, and beyond them, everyone else I loved. My resolve was scarred, but it was still strong. It was battle tested and I knew well it would handle the war.

“Yeah, I’m ready,” I said, standing up. I chuckled humorlessly as I thought of what my enemies knew about me. I really didn’t know how to stay down, and they were never going to be able to force me.

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