Page 10 of Scarred Resolve

“Exactly. So, maybe it’s seeing you and Dirk. Maybe it’s not me.”

“That… could be it,” he conceded. “I’ll give them the benefit of your doubt.”

“Thank you. Oh, and you said you could get over how you don’t like being leaned on like that… You don’t have to get over it, Landon. You can establish that boundary. There are plenty of strong werewolves in the pack they can lean on. It doesn’t have to be you.”

“Only a werecat would say that to a werewolf,” he said, chuckling. “It’s one thing for the weaker wolves not to want to lean on me, but now that they’ve started to hover a lot…”

“You feel like you have to let them, even if it makes you uncomfortable,” I finished for him, seeing how he trailed off.

“Pretty much.”

I didn’t need a strong nose to figure out he was dealing with some complicated feelings about the situation.

“I don’t think I’m the one who can help you with this, Landon,” I said, feeling bad that I had to be honest about that. “Talk to Heath. He’ll at least relate more than I can.”

“That’s why I’m telling you. It’s not the right word for it, but you’re an outsider in the sense of a werewolf pack. You have a different perspective. That’s not a bad thing.” Landon finally sat up, and I let go of my legs, stretching them out beside his. “Can I ask you about something else?”

“Uh, sure?”

“It’s been on my mind for a while, and we haven’t really had a moment alone in weeks, at least not one where I felt safe asking about it… I’ve been thinking about what you did while we were fighting with Fenris. Rainer, actually.” He gave me an odd look.

“I think we should head back,” I said quickly, beginning to move. I had to go. I had been avoiding this conversation. While we were still in Germany, it hadn’t crossed my mind that he had seen me do that. We had been focused on survival. It was only days later that Landon mentioned something that made me remember what he would have seen in the Black Forest.

He grabbed my arm and kept me there, unable to get off the rock. His eyes locked with mine.

“It wasn’t the first time, was it?” he asked as I was frozen in place by the strength of his grip and the intensity of his stare.

“No, it wasn’t,” I confirmed softly, relaxing, making it clear I wouldn’t run. He let me go and sighed.

“Do you know how dangerous it is? How impossible most moon cursed find doing that?”

“Yes.” I knew he would want more than simple answers, but they were all I could summon.

“How? Why?”

“Fenris could do it,” I said lamely, knowing it wasn’t what he wanted to hear. His soft growl only reinforced that.

“He wasmad,” he finally hissed at me. “Insane. You know that. He was a split fucking personality, a false identity for a hiding werewolf who held a grudge that nearly killed us.”

“I was… I was desperate. It just happened. I was in control, and I needed the strength. I needed the claws.”

“You are playing with fire,” he growled. “You will get burned.”

“You haven’t told anyone, have you?” If he did, there were going to be a lot of questions from a lot of people. Heath would be in a terrible position as well, engaged to a werecat who was flirting with losing herself to the curse entirely.

“No!” Landon said quickly, grabbing both my shoulders. “Of course not! Are you insane? I’m not going to be the person who unleashes the information that makes my father consider putting a silver bullet between the eyes of the woman he’s in love with!”

I must have turned pale or something as that reality was thrown in my face because his face collapsed, and guilt filled the air around us.

“I’m sorry. That was harsh. Pa wouldn’t do it unless you were already too far gone, but the seed would be planted. I don’t want to do that to either of you. I just want to make sure you know what you were risking that night. I want a promise you won’t do that again.”

“I promise,” I said without even considering if I could keep it.

“Thank you.” He released me slowly. “None of this works without you, and if we lose you to that… I don’t want to see all of this lost, you know? I don’t want to lose you, not just for Pa’s sake, but mine and Dirk’s and Carey’s. Don’t think I’ve forgotten how you threw yourself between Hasan and us.”

“It was nothing.”

“Bullshit. I can name all the people who have ever done something like that for me on one hand, and only one of them ever faced that level of danger in the process other than you. So, I’m going to look out for you, damn it. You can’t stop me.”

---