Page 63 of Secrets and Ruin

“It’s five in the morning. Why are you awake?” he asked in return, frowning at his youngest.

“I got up early to make everyone coffee. People have been staying up all night and staying over. You have a lot of patrols going on. I figured no one would have gotten coffee started again and wanted to help out.”

Guilt stabbed him. There were a lot of things he had wanted for his daughter and the life he had wanted to provide for her. While he respected her instincts and ability to be so caring and good in some of the worst situations he could imagine, he had never wanted her to be in that role. She was the child in the house, not an adult. They were supposed to be getting up early to help her and make sure her world kept spinning. She wasn’t supposed to be comforting and caring for anyone in this house or in the pack. They should have been doing that for her. This morning, more than any other, that reality stabbed him in the chest and forced him to feel the pain of his own failures when it came to his daughter.

“Go back to bed,” he said gently. “I’ll make coffee.”

“I don’t think I could get back to sleep now, even if I wanted to,” she said, shaking her head. “If you make the coffee, I’ll make eggs and bacon—”

“Carey, you don’t need to take care of us.”

“I want to,” she said, not looking at him as she walked to the fridge.

“Please. I don’t want you to look back on this and think about how you had to always do this for anyone in the pack or your family—”

“Dad, it’s all I can do!” she snapped, slamming the fridge shut after she yanked out the eggs. “It’s already Wednesday! Jacky and Landon haven’t called. Teagan, Jenny, and Carlos are still stuck asleep. I need to do something. I hate not being able to do anything.Please.”

Heath reached out to her, taking the eggs to put them on the counter. She leaned toward him, and he knew that was the permission he needed. He hugged his daughter, holding her for a short time before she started to cry. He swayed, making her rock side to side, mimicking how he’d rocked her when she was little, hoping the gentle motion would help.

“They’re strong and smart,” he reminded her and himself. “If anyone has a chance of helping Dirk get home, it’s them.”

“And…Fenris?” she asked, the scent of her fear and anger filling the space.

“They can stop him,” he promised.

He was careful about who in the pack knew. They were still calling him Fenris, and Fenris was still a member of the pack. Heath wanted to know when the wolf died. He wanted the light to go off in his head. He thought it was interesting that Rainer Brandt hadn’t removed himself from the pack. Every werewolf had a choice to be a part of a pack or not. There was no order that could force that, though it was difficult for many to break it without the help of a new Alpha taking over. He highly doubted that was Rainer’s problem.

He was still the type of wolf he was, inaccurately named Enforcer for PR reasons. They thrived alone, without the connections of a pack, because they didn’t trust the connections of a pack. They didn’t trust anyone or anything. They could be brought back only so far, and some things would never come naturally to them. They couldn’t be Alphas.

He remembered the broken-hearted day he realized Landon had become one, that irrevocable step that other werewolves had forced in him, no matter how much he and Richard tried to protect him.

“Yeah,” she agreed, nodding against his chest. She pulled back. “They can, and they’ll find out why he did this.”

“They will,” he promised, kissing her forehead. “I won’t ask you to do anything, Carey. If you want to help, you may. You will also go play video games, read, and enjoy your life, even if it’s hard. You’re not hurting anyone by doing that.”

“I’m not a child, Dad. I have two hands—”

“But you are,” he said, refusing to let her think otherwise. “You can help cook breakfast, a useful skill you should keep practicing. One day, you’ll live on your own and need to cook for yourself. But you won’t wait on any of these werewolves or on me. Is that clear?”

“Yes, sir,” she said, grabbing the eggs again. It was an utter lie, but he was tired and stressed. She was going to do everything in her power to help until she was ready to call it a day. He would get back to her later when he gathered the energy for that confrontation.

Instead, he cooked with her, making sure the eggs were cooked thoroughly, and the bacon could satisfy everyone’s preferences. He fed the healers silently, putting down plates for them. They gave soft thanks as he walked away and went back to their watch over his packmates as they ate. He put out larger serving plates for the other members of his pack, knowing they could manage it without leaving someone hungry. He then held a plate out for his daughter, making her frown.

“Go eat in your room,” he said. “Spend the rest of the morning making sure your homework is done. You can’t fall behind if you still want to graduate early. Then you can do whatever you want with your time.”

“One more year,” she said, nodding. “You’re right. I can help by getting high school out of the way as soon as possible.”

He watched her leave, screaming internally at the idea that his daughter would be graduating in a year. The timing of her early graduation was difficult to pin down, thanks to the school switches she had to put up with, but now they knew for sure when she would be done. She was a full grade ahead in her primary education. Furthermore, his motivated daughter was only two classes away from having enough credits to complete her first semester of college before she had even been accepted to any.

I’m running out of time.

He could feel it in his bones.

Reaching for his phone, he tried to put it out of his mind. He sent a group text to everyone in the pack who was available, telling them to come in and get breakfast, then he went on autopilot to get through the morning. He smiled and said good morning to his werewolves as they came in for food. They asked about Teagan, Jenny, and Carlos, and he gave them the simple update that no one was awake yet. There was no update from Jacky and Landon. Dirk was still missing and unreachable.

“I’m about to start calling again,” Heath said to Shamus and Ranger once the rest of the wolves were focused on the food.

“Heath, if you need to go after them, I can manage the pack as necessary,” Shamus said with solemn confidence. Heath knew he had the capability to stand in when needed. He might rely on Shamus for that soon, but he didn’t want to jump the gun.

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