Page 7 of Bitter Discord

“Does it matter how I feel?”

“Yes,” I snapped, wondering how I’d ended up dealing with petulant Dirk again. I’d believed we were beyond this. “Dirk, this could really impact you.”

He groaned but didn’t reply. We sat in silence until I heard Heath’s truck pull out.

“They’re gone,” I announced. “Now, let’s talk. If you think this is a terrible idea, I need to know. Zuri comes tomorrow, and we need to decide how we’re going to handle that for you.”

“Zuri comes tomorrow,” he said softly. “That’s the thing. I don’t think your plan with her is a bad one. I just don’t know what I’m going to do. She’s going to know something is wrong if I completely avoid her. You know Niko has probably already asked her to check in with me, even if she hasn’t told you. We’ve kept my Change a secret. How do you think they’re going to take that?”

“I could tell them you’re staying with the pack like Carey is, out of sight for protection,” I said with a shrug. “It would deprive Zuri of seeing Carey, but she would find it reasonable if I hid you both with so many potential enemies around. It wouldn’t be a lie. I would hide you from potential enemies.”

“You’d be lying about something else. I’m not human like Carey anymore.”

“I said nothing about your humanity,” I countered. “I said you would stay with the pack like Carey. I’ve become pretty good at dancing around the truth to keep the scent of the lie from showing up.”

“It wouldn’t work.” Dirk groaned. His eyes were still jade green. They were most days, especially when he was around the other werewolves. He was young, and those new instincts were powerful and a bit out of control because he was still figuring them out. I still had problems with the eyes. They always showed up first when I was in a mood about anything.

“I wanted a year,” he said, drumming his fingers on the arm of the chair. “A few weeks after it all happened, I thought a year would be enough time to adjust, then I would tell Niko. But Zuri is cominghere, and sheneedsto come here. You need her to back you up, and the family needs her to do what she does best. I get that. You have to play their games, Jacky. Niko’s played the games for my entire life. I can’t tell you not to do this because of my circumstances. I… I knew I was asking a lot when I wanted to keep it between us when it happened. I just hoped for longer.”

“I agreed to it and don’t take exposing it lightly. If you want to keep hiding your new werewolf status, we can do that.” I leaned forward. “Have you really been avoiding me because you don’t know what to do? Dirk…”

“It’s not just me being a werewolf,” he whispered, looking at his hands in his lap, reminding me more of an older teenager than a grown man. Dirk was big. He had been when he arrived, and becoming a werewolf hadn’t altered his human form. He was just big. When the pack was officially set up, Heath made all of them see a doctor and filed away their updated medical records. I had learned Dirk’s stats that day and was still somewhat amazed. At six foot four inches and two hundred thirty pounds, he was the tallest and heaviest person in the pack when it came to their human forms. He’d made a good bouncer and bartender and would be an exceptional werewolf as he got more experience.

He was thinking about something that made him seem much younger, and I could smell a touch of fear. It was still well hidden by the magic tattoo he had, something I knew drove the other werewolves insane, but I was used to his soft scent and knew to look for it.

It clicked for me before Dirk could say any more and made perfect sense.

“Oh my God, you’re worried about them discovering your relationship with Landon.” I growled, not truly aiming it at him but in general. “Look at me, Dirk Brandt. I will never let our family tell you that you can or can’t be with someone.Never. I will fight like hell to defend your right to have a relationship with him or anyone else you choose. Just like I have to fight for Heath and me. Okay?”

“That’s it? You’re not going to ask if it’s the gay part or the werewolf part?”

“I don’t care.” I snarled wordlessly as I got up, unable to sit. I hadn’t even considered it, and guilt ate at me for being blind. I had been focused on Heath and me and hadn’t considered how they might feel about Dirk and Landon—for either reason.

“How do you think they’ll react? I’m sad to admit it, but I don’t know how my siblings feel about…” With a groan, I rubbed my eyes. “I have no idea how any of them would feel about a gay man in general. I don’t think it’s ever come up in conversation. I never outed Landon to them. I think Mischa has mentioned sleeping with women, but I’ve never pressed. It’s not really my business who anyone sleeps with.”

“You don’t talk about your private life, so I’m not surprised you aren’t keen to listen to it from others.” Dirk shrugged a shoulder. “Mischa and Niko are both… well, by modern terms, pan. They’ll both sleep with anyone, no matter what’s in their pants. They won’t care about Landon and me both being men, which is great because I was raised by Niko and see sex somewhat similarly. I’m in it for the person.” He took a deep breath, shaking his head. “I could try to tell you how I think they might feel or what they might think… but you know, they don’t matter. Mischa, Niko, the twins. None of them matter… Onlyhedoes.”

“You’re not wrong,” I whispered, lowering my head. It didn’t matter if the entire family supported Heath and me. It didn’t matter if they would be okay with Dirk being a werewolf or with another man. IfHasanput his foot down, the black sheep of the family could find themselves out of the flock.

“I’ll handle him,” I promised, frustration with Hasan filling me again. “While Zuri is here, I’m going to put my foot down and ask some things she might not like. Let me test the waters with her tomorrow. I don’t want to give her another secret to carry, but it might be the best option. She might be a good ally for you, just as she is for me. She’s damn good at keeping secrets and understanding why they’re sometimes necessary.”

“She’s not bad,” he said, shrugging. “If she’ll keep it to herself, if she can promise to do that, letting her know first might not be bad. If that will make the week easier on you.”

“It’s not about easy. It’s about what you need and want, Dirk.”

“Thanks. Sorry for avoiding you.”

“You have a lot going on.” I shrugged, unfazed. I was never really hurt by his avoiding me. I just kicked myself for not realizing the depth of his problem. It was stupid of me.

He only nodded.

“Dirk, please don’t feel as though you can’t talk to me,” I said softly. “I’m sorry I didn’t consider you and Landon being together sooner. You becoming a werewolf became the big secret, and I wasn’t thinking of the relationship you’ve already been hiding for over a year.”

“We don’t really try to hide it, not the way you and Heath had to hide. I live with him.” Dirk suddenly stood. “It’s fine, Jacky. I don’t know if I’m ready for the family drama. I’ve gotten away with being out of the limelight for a long time, but you know this will put me center stage when it comes out. I can hear the gossip now. Son of the Traitor goes back to the werewolves and sleeps with another man, son of Jacky Leon’s infamous werewolf fiancé.” Dirk rolled his eyes, and I realized the walls were back up. No more vulnerability, only annoyance with the way the world worked. “Seriously, it’ll rock the family, and they’ll all be furious. Not just with me, but with you. I was just a troublemaker, rebelling against Niko when I came out here. Now, I’m a werewolf, sleeping with a different Everson. Can you imagine what they’re going to say about that? About you? They’ll think this was your fault and blame you.”

“I don’t care,” I said plainly, shrugging. “Thank you for thinking about me, but I don’t care.”

“Of course, you don’t, but it’ll happen.”

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