Page 78 of Collateral Damage

“Lie with me.” She plants her ass down on the roof, laying back into her hands as she cups the back of her neck, peering up at me with nothing but admiration and the cool breeze taints my flush cheeks, joining as I lay beside her, fighting everything in me not to cuddle up to her as we lay there gazing at the midnight sky as if it’s our last day on earth. Like we are the last one’s left.

…

“I hated astrology.” She confesses dryly and I burst into a snigger at the irony.

“Really? Because you have a funny way of showing it.” Sarcasm splits the air, giggling under my breath.

“She was so obsessed with it, she’d talk my ear off for hours. And now I’d do anything to listen to those mind-numbing conversations again.” My face contorts, finding peace in this happy memory but mourning for the little girl inside her so desperately trying to find peace after all these years.

“Well, I know nothing about astrology. Tell me something.” I wiggle to get comfortable, willing to listen. Open to learn if it means I can listen to her.

“You see where those stars align? The three dots?” She points towards the dust scattering the void above us and I have absolutely no idea where she’s pointing.

“Where? I can’t see?” She shuffles closer and my entire body tightens, pressing her temple against mine to try and line up our sight until I finally see it.

“Oh! I see it, I see it!” There is something so crazy about looking up at an entire universe beyond us. Like we are all imprisoned to endless worlds and possibilities. A grain of sand in the Pacific Ocean.

“That’s Orion's belt.” Her useless but meaningful knowledge makes my heart beat faster and I can feel her lips grazing my cheek innocently as she smiles.

“Do you think aliens exist?” I question her jokingly.

Play - ‘Pretty When You Cry - Lana Del Rey’

“Oh absolutely. I’ve actually been abducted by one. They told me that I had no heart and sent me back down to earth.” A disgusting laugh falls out of my mouth and I hiccup on air as she abruptly puts her lips to mine, dripping with tenderness, melting into her much needed touch. It’s now insufferable to be away from her. These past few days have been nothing short of unbearable and all I’ve wanted is this.

She detaches, licking my taste from her lips and an uninvited throb cripples my flower.

I have no idea what she’s doing but she’s hurting my head with all these emotions we are both clearly feeling. I gaze at her like my own constellation, grazing my thumb against her faded tattoo curving her brow. She flinches slightly, scrunching her forehead as she glares at me like she wants to cut my thumb off.

“Exile.What does it mean?” Her throat bobs, like she's reluctant to tell me but I refuse to let go of her vulnerability I seem to be grasping at right now.

“It’s what I am,Princess.”There is pain etched into her tongue as she speaks down to me.

“I don’t understand?” My tongue finds the roof of my mouth as her rough fingers drape behind the shell of my ear, still trying to accustom to this sweetness slipping through the cracks.

“I’m banished. From this life. From my home. From my heart. I’ve been exiled, or more I’ve exiled myself.” My brows dip, trying to read her face, wondering why on earth she would say something so silly.

“Why?”

“Because I simply do not belong.” I wait for her to laugh but she remains cold in the face.She truly believes that.And I gaze up at her trying to figure out where she is going to go from here if she doesn’t even belong with me.

“So. Where will you go now? Or- we. If you'd have me.” She peers down at me through her hooded brows.

“And how do you suppose I travel around with someone who's supposedly missing?”There are ways around these things, right?

“I'll wear a wig, change my name or something.” I laugh off my delusion, but her facial expression quickly brings it to a halt.

“Are you serious?”Is that so crazy?To want to travel the world and explore? I thought that is what she wanted. Isn't that why she built this?

“Deadly.”

She rubs the bridge of her nose with irritation, pondering on my proposition.“I don't think so,Puppet. That is no life for you.”

My eye's peer to the back of my head as I roll them in irritation.Who is she to dictate my life?

“And what is exactly? This?” My tone is snappy, trying desperately to understand what more she wants from me if all of this means nothing.

“No. And I've already told you, when I've sorted shit out, I will get out of your hair for good.You'll be free.Living a normal life.” My stomach sinks at the thought. Three months ago I couldn't wait to get out of here,away from her,back to normality, but now I can't think of anything worse. Why would I want to go back to a life with no freedom?This is freedom. I've done more in the last four months with her than I have my entire life. What happened to chasing me to the ends of the earth and haunting my dreams?

---